The Life and Times of Emmeline Vance
by amerikanka
Summary: My life is nothing extraordinary, or daring, or heroic, or self-sacrificing, but I have lived through war and fear and I have seen the light of hope. My name is Emm, and this my story, from my childhood to my death. Formerly A Gauntlet To Fate.
1. A Childhood and a Brother

Emmeline Vance scowled at the boy next to her. Well, he'd been next to her up until a moment ago, when he'd taken it into his head to steal her shoe and run up the tree. "Benjyyyyy," she whined, drawing out the last syllable just to be annoying. "Gimme back m'shoe."

The boy grinned at her, displaying a missing tooth. "Nope! You gotta come and get it, Emmie!"

"Benjy, you know Mummy says no climbin' the tree. 'M not 'lowed."

"Mrs. Vance doesn't have to know, Emmie. C'mon. C'mon up the tree! 'Less you don't want your shoe back…"

"S'my shoe, Benjamin Fenwick!" The four-year-old put her hands on her hips and glared like she'd seen her mother do. It seemed to have an effect—the boy gulped slightly. She could see his throat move.

"Come and get it!" He said, but it was with less sincerity than he'd used before, and Emmeline knew she was winning.

With that thought in mind, she screwed up her face so it got as unpleased as she could make it, and tried out her Mum-voice. "Benjamin Nicholas Fenwick, you come down from that tree right now, young man!" She pronounced all the words clearly, as she'd heard her mother do. And it worked. Benjy looked ashamed and started edging down the tree, though he glowered at her.

"That's not fair, Emmie. S'not okay to use that voice. Makes me feel bad." He was muttering as he sulkily handed her shoe back, which she donned in triumph.

"Y'stole my shoe, Benjy. S'not fair either."

He continued looking nastily at her, then touched her shoulder and ran off laughing. "Tag! You're it!"

She scampered after him, shouting. "I wasn't ready!"

"Benjamin? Emmeline?" A warm older woman's voice called out to the shouting and running duo. "Come on in, you two. The sun's about to set."

Breathless they raced up to her, Emmeline trying to smooth her play dress. Catherine Vance laughed at the children, both dark-haired and with that incessant light of childhood spilling from their eyes. "Benjy, are you staying for dinner, dear?"

He nodded and said with the awkward courtesy of a nine-year-old, "If you don't mind, Mrs. Vance."

"Of course not. Come in and wash your hands, both of you. Dinner's on the table and your father is waiting, Emmeline."

"Daddy's home?" The little girl's brown eyes lit up and sparkled delightedly, and she ran inside quickly. Benjy followed her after a second's hesitation. Mrs. Vance watched him go and sighed, slightly sadly. She walked slowly into the house and set out the plates on the table, shooing her daughter into the bathroom to wash off her hands. Benjy was being the gentleman and letting Emm wash up first, then her little girl bounded back into the dining room of the spacious house.

"Daddy Daddy Daddy! You home early!" She leapt on her father with a hug. "Mummy said you'd not be home 'til tomorra!"

Her father laughed and picked her up, swinging her around as she giggled. "Well princess, I got off early. And how are you, Benjamin?"

Benjy shook Christopher Vance's hand with his gap-toothed smile. "I'm good, Mr. Vance."

"No need to be so formal, young man. Call me Christopher."

"Yes sir."

Mr. Vance sighed good-naturedly and rolled his eyes. "Cath, let's sit and eat some of your wonderful cooking. If there's one thing I miss besides your company, it's the delight of your meals." The four of them sat down and for a time there was only the clink of silver on plates as they dug into the seared pork.

Murmuring to the children to eat their vegetables, Mrs. Vance stifled a grin and exchanged amused eyes with her husband as Emmeline immediately turned on Benjy. "Yeah, eat you veggies, Benjy. They's good for you."

"Eat your own veggies, Emmie. They're good for you too!" Catherine looked on Benjy with affection as he didn't make fun of Emmeline's poor grammar. Her daughter spoke well for only being four years old and Mrs. Vance liked to think that Benjy recognized this.

"Children, stop fighting. Just eat your peas." Both cleaned their plates then bolted upstairs after asking to be excused. Catherine heard their feet pounding on the stairs as they ran up to the upstairs den, no doubt for a violent game of wizards chess involving name-calling or Exploding Snap in which someone's hair would be fried. She looked at her husband who grinned. "I give it ten minutes before I hear screaming."

"Ten?" Mrs. Vance laughed slightly. "You're giving them too much credit. Five at the most. You're not with them all day."

The smile slid off his face as he heaved a sigh. "You know I don't like going on patrols."

"I know. I didn't mean anything by it. You can go settle their dispute and drag them down here for dessert; I'll get the dishes." Mrs. Vance smiled softly at her husband as she rose and took the plates into the kitchen and set her sponges to scrubbing and soaping the dirty plates, meanwhile whisking a tart out of the oven and making it fly through the air and separate out onto plates. She heated water in a pot and poured tea as well, then directed the whole ensemble through the door into the dining room. Not hearing any screams, she let Christopher deal with the children without her assistance.

Upstairs, Emmeline's father was doing well enough with handling the flames of a rogue Exploding Snap card to surprise himself. There hadn't been any singed hair this time, only a hole in the sleeve of Emmeline's dress, and no tears because Benjy had helped the little girl douse the burning fabric with a glass of water before the flames hurt. Benjy was currently her hero, though Christopher knew better than to put faith in that lasting. He shepherded them downstairs where they promptly attacked their dessert, the blackberry tart consuming their full attention.

After they'd finished they settled for a cup of tea in the downstairs main room, a crackling fire roaring in the hearth and Emmie and Benjy playing with a set of wizard trains, the toys flashing lights and puffing out smoke as they chugged across the thick cream and silver rug. Catherine sipped her tea and smiled affectionately at the two children who looked like they were brother and sister. Emmeline was still clumsy as young children were prone to be, but whenever her trains would go off course and she couldn't get there in time Benjy would pick it up and set it back on the imaginary track they were conjuring up in their minds. This always won him a big grin from the little girl, and he'd glow a touch with pride.

After he'd finished his tea Christopher stood up and stretched. "Benjy, I think it's time you got home so your mother won't worry." Emmeline looked over at him quickly enough to catch the scowl across his young face as he got to his knees.

"Okay," Benjy said quietly. "Thanks for having me, Mr. and Mrs. Vance. I'll see you tomorrow, little sister." She grinned at him as he called her that, because she'd always fancied that if she had a brother, Benjy would be the best.

Emmeline walked the short distance to the door with Benjy and her father, struggling to open the door for them. Benjy helped her subtlety, then waved as he and her father walked out into the night.

Emmeline watched them from the window, the torchlight in the streets illuminating the shorter dark haired boy and her tall blond father. Benjy hunched over against the wind and Christopher placed his cloak over the boy's shoulders as Emmie watched, climbing up on the couch as they turned the corner at the end of the lane to the Vance home and slid from her view. She knew they would Apparate as soon as they were out of the main street, to the approved Apparation point in Tinworth. The Vance home and land had wards on it preventing Apparation after night fell, and they were tedious to remove. It was easier to simply walk to the Apparation point. For the most part Tinworth was strictly magical, but the constant crack of Apparation was annoying to most of the inhabitant, so they'd set up a designated area. She slipped down the cushions on the back of the furniture and turned her warm brown eyes over to her mother. "Mummy? Why don't Benjy stay with us more?"

"Because Benjy has his own home, dearest. He has parents who want him there as well, because they work in the day and can't see him then."

"But he don't like his home. He tolded me."

"Did he?" In truth, Catherine wasn't surprised and she motioned her daughter over to her. Snuggling up against her mother, Emmeline felt gentle arms circle around her. "Emmeline dear, one day you'll understand. One day he'll tell you. Until then, be the best friend to Benjy that you can. And don't pester the boy to answer your questions, all right?"

"Yes Mummy."

They'd grown up together, or at least it seemed like it to the young Emmeline. Benjy had been playing by himself when the girl had wandered away from her home and into the small patch of woods nearby. She'd watched hidden in the bushes as the boy had snapped off a twig about fourteen inches long from the tree above him and flourished it about himself as though in an epic battle with an unseen foe. He'd tripped over an upraised root in the soil and Emmeline had broken her cover by giggling softly into the palm of her hand.

"Who're you?" The green-eyed boy had challenged her with all the dignity a seven year old could muster. Emmeline had been nearly two and a half, and she'd always been a fast learner so she could respond in turn, albeit slowly and with horrendous grammar.

"'M Emm'line. Who you?"

"Benjamin Fenwick. What're you doing?"

"'M watchin' ya. Ya gots a stick."

"It's not a stick, it's a _wand_." He'd shot at her, making her recoil slightly in fear. He was more than twice her size and very scary when he looked at her like that. He suddenly seemed to realize that she was frightened and ran a hand over his face. "Sorry. I don't like people watchin' me."

"Why?" She asked quietly, a little subdued.

"Dunno. No one does." He walked over to her slowly, then said, "What's your last name?"

"Vance. Emm'line Vance." Seeing that she was still nervous, he grinned a bit and offered her the stick. She smiled a touch back at him, little baby teeth still growing in between pink lips. "Tank 'oo. 'M gonna be witch."

"I'm gonna be a wizard an' go to Hogwarts. That's what Mum said." He sat down beside her after breaking off another stick and brandishing it at her.

"Mummy says me too. 'M gonna go 'Ogwarts an' be witch."

"Can I call you Emmie?" Benjy asked after a little while of playing. "You can call me Benjy."

She grinned widely at him, then shouted, "Spellimus! Yeah, 'kay."

"Oh no!" Benjy shouted, playing along as though she had indeed cast _expelliarmus_. "You got me!" He threw his 'wand' at her feet and sat down on the ground, then fell over backwards and pretended to be dead.

"Benjy?" He opened his eyes and laughed, drawing a giggle out of her as well.

Now, a year and a half later, Emmeline knew without a doubt he was her best friend. Oh sure, she'd met other young witches and wizards her age, but none were as close as Benjy. Not many others, at least the older ones, liked talking to little girls either. And no boys did. She'd met the small Potter family and the large McKinnon clan and the Bones family as well, and the Prewetts were over to dinner at least once a month, and they saw the Weasley family regularly as well, but Emmeline would always end up in tears from one of the hurtful things the younger boys would say, and go hide somewhere.

Benjy always found her. He'd find her and dry her tears, tell her funny stories or what he'd do to the person who'd made her cry, bring her dessert if she missed it, help her climb into a tree and keep a look out for her mother. He was immensely protective of her, and too often James Potter or the Prewett twins wouldn't watch their mouths and end up with them bloodied in the next hour.

He was the only one she let call her Emmie as well. Her parents always used her full name and other young people called her Emm, but to Benjy she was always Emmie. She liked it better that way, and she noticed that only she and her parents called him Benjy. Everyone else called him Benjamin or Ben. But to Emmeline he was always Benjy.

She loved having Benjy around. No one dared pick on her if he was there, and she hated going to parties at her parent's friends houses because if Benjy wasn't invited she'd be left to the mercy of the boys. The Prewett twins were especially horrible, despite all that their older sister Molly did to calm them down and make them mind their manners. Emmeline took to sticking around Molly Prewett if she was there and Benjy wasn't. But Benjy was always her favorite.

Then he had to go away to school. The day he got his Hogwarts letter he was so happy, and Emm was happy for him as well, but she cried herself to sleep that night. Benjy was leaving, and it would be five whole years before she could count on him always being there again. The last few weeks of that summer were hard for Emm, even though she tried not to show it to Benjy.

One night they were out watching the stars up on the flat part of the roof of the Vance residence, called on the Floo network the Sea Tower after the cliffs it rested on over the ocean. The general shape was that of a castle tower separated from the castle. Muggles would call the place a 'lighthouse' but the old Muggle lamp had been dispatched of to make way for an observatory, her great-grandfather's passion. The glass doors could be opened out onto a balcony and this was where the two children lay.

"Can I tell you something secret, Emmie?"

"Anything, Benjy." Emmeline was six and knew how important it would be if Benjy insisted on her keeping a secret. "You know I'd never tell no one."

"I know. I'm… I'm scared, Emmie. What if people don't like me? What if I don't have any friends?"

Emmeline was shocked. "Don't be stupid!" She said loudly, then lowered her voice at his surprised look. She normally never shouted at him, never shouted at anyone. "Everyone's gonna love you, Benjy. You're gonna have lots and lots and lots of friends. Don't ever think you're not gonna have friends."

"Okay." He sounded strangely reassured to Emmeline, and she was glad she helped, even if she didn't know how. "And I'll always have you. We're always going to be friends, aren't we Emm? Best friends?"

"Uh huh."

"Always and ever after."

She nodded, then asked, "Why're you scared anyway? You're the bravest person I know, 'cept my Daddy."

"I don't know. When you go, maybe you'll understand… but I'll be there to look after you, Emmie. No one's going to mess with my little sister."

She scowled at him. "I'm already six! I'm not that little."

"I know. But you'll always be my little sister." He grinned at her and she stuck her tongue out. "Emmie?" She smiled at him. "Will you write me?"

"Of course. But only if you write me too. I'll send Mercury and you can send him back," she said, referring to the Vance family owl named after the Roman god of messages. Benjy didn't have his own owl. "I'll send you lots of letters, don't worry. And some of Mummy's brownies."

She saw him smiling again, that oddly reassured look on his face. "Look up there," he said, his voice gruff. "See that star bunch?"

"Cons-tel-ay-shun," she pronounced slowly. "That's what it's called. And yeah?"

"That one there, that looks like a crown and a wand?" Emm squinted, then nodded that yes, she saw it. "That's ours," Benjy continued. "That's our constellation. Cause your Dad calls you princess. And I'll always protect you."

Emmeline sniffled slightly, trying not to cry. She swallowed hard, then rubbed her nose with her sleeve as a few tears leaked out the sides of her eyes. Benjy looked over, saw her crying and sat up, drawing her into a hug. They didn't hug much, but Emmeline knew without a doubt that Benjy gave the best hugs in the world. "Don't cry Emmie… you'll make me start crying too."

"But you _never_ cry," Emmeline said as though stating a fact.

"But if you cry then I will too. I'm gonna miss you so much, little sister." She thought she heard him sniffing a little as well, but she dismissed the thought. Benjy never cried. It would be like… like him being a Muggle. Impossible.

Her parents would have taken her to say goodbye in the morning, she knew they would have, but for some reason they said that Benjy's parents wouldn't like it. So she waited at home and stayed in bed until noon, then went and sat in the library and read a book. Normally she would have gone out to play in the fields, or she would have gone swimming in the ocean, or pretended to duel in woods, but Benjy was gone. She started a letter to him in her shaky six-year-old handwriting, planning to mail it that night so he'd get it in the morning, his first morning at Hogwarts.

_Deer Benjy,_

_I miss you already! I am really really bord hear and theirs no one to doo anything with. I hope you have a gud first day at Hogwarts. I want to bee there with you. I think you wil make many freinds and have a really gud time and you wil learn so much! Your very smart Benjy and nice too. Make lots of freinds bekuse your amazung and people like amazung people._

_Your best friend alwayes and for ever aftur_

_Emmie_

She called Mercury down from the top of the Tower and tied the letter to his leg with her mother's help. "Okay, Merky, take this to Benjy. He's at Hogwarts." The owl hooted and flew silently out the window as Emmeline watched. Her mother placed a hand on her shoulder and gently steered the young girl into the kitchen. Catherine knew her daughter would take the loss of her best friend hard and was sympathetic.

"Emmeline," Mrs. Vance started. Emmeline looked up at her mother, brown eyes bland. "Why don't I teach you to brain your hair?" Normally Emmeline would have scoffed and run off to play, but this time she shrugged and nodded, standing up to go sit on a stool in front of her mother. "Dearest, it will be your turn soon enough. And then you'll have Benjy to show you around Hogwarts and to protect you. That's not so long away, you know."

Emmeline sniffled and wiped her eyes irritably. "I don't wanna cry no more," she whispered. "I just miss him."

"Dear heart, I know." Catherine sighed as she ran the brush through Emmeline's dark hair, untangling the thick waves that fell heavily on her daughter's back. "My sister—you remember Auntie Caroline—she was a few years older than me when she left for Hogwarts. But it made it all the better when I got there, because she helped me and made sure no harm came to me. The older students can be mean to first-years."

"Will Benjy be hurt?" Emmeline turned big brown eyes to her mother.

Catherine shook her head. "No. The students are nice for the most part, and Benjy knows how to take care of himself." _Very well,_ Mrs. Vance thought dryly to herself. _The mothers always had to patch up the people who got on his bad side, though I couldn't have asked for a better protector for my daughter._

"He does." Emmeline let a smile touch her face. "'Member when he punched James Potter in the nose acause James tripped me at our party?"

"Indeed I do. Violence isn't always the answer, my sweet Emmeline."

"I know, Mummy. But Benjy can punch so good!"

"So _well_, Emmeline. And punching isn't always good."

"But James Potter was mean and he needed punching. That's what Alice said."

"Alice McKinnon?"

"Yeah, Alice. She says James Potter is mean and when we go to school we're going to need to watch out. She says that us girls need to stick together like gool. What's gool? It's a Muggle thing, Alice says."

Catherine, being a pureblood witch, had no idea so she fell to the traditions of parents everywhere faced with curious children they didn't know how to answer: make it up as you go. "Gool is like Spellotape, dear. I think Muggles use it to hold those… wheeled things, cars, together. Now, try this braid for yourself. Take the left strand and place it over the right…"

Emmeline's next few days were filled with learning how to braid her hair. It was more fun than she had first thought it was going to be (Catherine was secretly rejoicing that at least her daughter could do something slightly feminine), and her mother knew all sorts of braids that she taught to her daughter. They were proceeding with the more complicated braids when Emmeline leapt up to open the window for Mercury and removed the letter from his leg quickly as her fingers could manage. The braid fell to pieces as her mother laughed and saw to the owl.

Emmeline ran upstairs and into the library with her letter, smiling as wide as her face would allow her to. She opened the letter with glee and a small red flower petal fell out. Emmeline picked it up and looked at it in confusion, then read the letter as quickly as she could.

_Dear Emmie,_

_I was so happy to get your letter! The other boys here were jealous when Mercury flew down and started eating my toast, because none of them have gotten anything yet. They think it's really cool that I have friends who will write me._

_I got Sorted into Gryffindor! You have to try on a hat and it talks to you and tells you where you should go. Gryffindor Tower is really nice, we have a dorm for just the first year boys. We're not allowed into the girls dorms—some second year boys tried to run up the stairs last night and there was this really big noise and the stairs turned into a slide and they shot down and landed in a heap. The girls think it's really funny but the boys got really embarrassed and ran off. I laughed really hard._

_You're right, I am making friends here. It's the third day of class and already I've met new people. There's Sturgis Podmore who's a year ahead of me and his little sister, who's in my year. Her name is Stella. Then there's another boy in my year named Xenophilus Lovegood, who's really strange. He keeps warning us about Nargles and Wrackspurts, whatever those are. He's got plants all over his school bag which I didn't even know was possible and some of them look dangerous—I didn't think plants were supposed to breath fire once a day, but the purple ones do. Xeno is a Ravenclaw, so he's supposed to be really smart. I think it's smart not to get roasted by the plants! But the first-year I get along with best is named John Myles. He's a Muggleborn so I get to teach him all about our world—do you know, he thinks moving pictures are funny! And when we got to Levitate feathers in Charms (yes I've already preformed magic!) he managed to make his fly and then got so excited the spell stopped working and he blasted Professor Flitwick, the Charms professor, with a face full of flower petals. I got one and I put it in the envelope for you._

_I really miss you too, Emmie. I can't wait until you're here with me, because everything would be so much more fun. I know you'd have laughed so hard at John and the flowers. And I think you'd be really good at Transfiguration—remember when you accidentally turned your Kneazle into a Crup? How is Terror anyway? Give her a pet from me. I still say she's better as a dog, because she was a mean cat._

_I miss you. John is a great friend but he isn't you, little sister._

_Your best friend always and forever,_

_Benjy_

By the time she was finished reading her smile was even wider. She pounded back downstairs, pausing to give Terror the Crup a scratch behind the ears. His forked tail wagged fiercely as he barked. Her mother was in the kitchen waiting for her to come back. "Well?" Mrs. Vance asked with a smile. "How is Benjy?"

"He's really good! He made a friend who's Muggle-born and was so excited the first time he did magic that he lost control of the spell and made flowers appear all over Professor Flitwick and he's in the same year as a boy who has a fire-breathing plant that's purple and…" Emmeline continued on as her mother reclaimed control of her hair and set the braid in place. Catherine asked all the right questions to keep her daughter talking, and then when her father came home in the next few days she bombarded him with the stories as well.

The Vance parents eventually quieted their daughter with suggesting that she write another letter, to which she gasped and ran upstairs, leaving the two to look at each other and dissolve into laughter.

_Dear Benjy,_

_I wus really glad to get your lettur! I hav the flowwer petle sitting on my bookcase nex to the pikture of us on my 5 birthday. Please tell all your freinds hello from me and I'll get Mummy to help me make brownees in my nex lettur. I dont think Narguls are real acouse I looked them up in my books and they arent there. And Wrakspurtes too. I petted Terrir like you asked and she barked alot so I think she mysses you too. I laffed and laffed when I read that your freind made flowwers all over your __pre__profff__proffes__ teacher._

_I cant believe that youve been goone almost 3 weeks now. I myss you soo sooo sooooo much!_

_Your best friend and little sistur,_

_Emmie_

She sent the letter off with Mercury the next morning, who didn't look thrilled at heading out into the foggy rain that day. He hooted dolefully then set out through the window as Emmeline began to help her mother prepare dinner.

The weeks passed in much the same manner—Emmeline helped her mother around the house and her father was home from time to time, but her favorite times where when Benjy's letters would come. Her spelling got better when she went to her mother for help, and together they laughed over Benjy's school escapades with his friends. Even though he had new friends, he kept telling her that she was hid best friend and he missed her so much, and she believed it.

Eventually it came time for Christmas break. Benjy hadn't mentioned going home, so Emmeline asked her mother if they could invite him to their home for the holidays. Catherine promptly agreed and Emmeline dashed upstairs to write the note. The response came back the next day.

_Dear Emmie,_

_Of course I'll come to your house for Christmas! I was hoping you'd ask, actually. I asked Professor McGonagall (she's the head of Gryffindor House, she's really strict but she's fair, and she also teaches Transfiguration) and she said that wouldn't be a problem. I have to make this short—I'm writing this at breakfast and I have Potions next—but I'm really looking forward to seeing you again._

_See you at the train station!_

_Benjy_

Emmeline ran down to the drawing room where her mother was sewing. "Mummy! He can come!"

"Oh, that's wonderful Emmeline! Do you have a present for him?"

She shook her head. "Not yet, but I will soon." She stopped and chewed her lip, thinking about how to phrase her next question. "Mummy, can I ask you something?"

"Of course dear."

"Why isn't Benjy going to his home?"

Catherine stopped stitching and set down her work. She looked across at her dark-haired daughter and smiled sadly. "Sometimes, dearest, parents and children don't get along."

"But why not? Everyone likes Benjy. Except James Potter, but he doesn't count."

Mrs. Vance had to smother a grin at that. "Benjy's parents aren't like your father and me. My sweet, this is something you must ask Benjy about, but not now. Wait until you're both older, alright?"

"But—"

"Emmeline." Catherine's voice took on a very rare stern tone. "Emmeline, promise me you won't ask until later. Until you're at least a few years older."

"Alright, I promise, but—"

"Good girl. Now, come here and help me with this sewing, and tell me what you're planning to do for Benjy's Christmas present."

It was the second to last week in December. Emmeline had woken up especially early that morning and roused her parents. Her father was on winter leave and had until the day after New Years' off, and Emmeline was so excited. She got to see Benjy, and her father was going to be there all Christmas. She hurried downstairs and pulled out breakfast foods to help her mother, who came into the kitchen tying the strings on her dressing robe around her waist and yawning. "Good morning, Emmeline."

"Morning Mummy!" Emmeline sang out, retrieving juice and pouring it into glasses. "When are we leaving?"

"The trains gets in a four this afternoon—we'll head into London at three thirty."

Emmeline stifled a whine, knowing it wouldn't help the train get there any faster. She spent the day pacing around the house, reading old letters, playing with Terror, trying to concentrate on a book… but it was no use. When her father eventually called to her that it was time to go, she was down the spiral stairs before he'd finished the sentence. He laughed and took her arm for the Side-Along Apparation.

They appeared in an alley to the side of King's Cross Station. Taking her hand firmly, Mrs. Vance guided her daughter into the station and then through the barrier of Platform Nine and Three Quarters. There were many parents and relatives there, all looking anxiously for the train.

The minutes ticked away and at four o'clock exactly the scarlet steam engine pulled in. Students piled out dragging their trunks and people were hugging left and right. Just then, Emmeline hated being six. She was so short! She couldn't see over anyone, and then suddenly familiar arms swept her up from behind. "Little sister!"

"Benjy!" She shrieked back, managing to spin around and hug him tightly. "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too Emmie!" He released her long enough for her to catch a glimpse of his light green eyes, then pulled her into another hug. She could see her parents smiling as well, as her father embraced her mother and placed a kiss on the side of Catherine's head. "Oh, Emmie… there are a few people I want you to meet. We aren't in a hurry, are we?" He asked the Vances.

"Of course not Benjy. Take your time."

"Okay, thanks! Emmie, come on!" He grabbed her by the hand and dragged her off to meet John, whose parents were looking around in wonder at the platform. "John, this is the girl who made the brownies."

John looked down several inches at the smiling Emmeline. He grinned hesitantly at her. "Those brownies were wonderful, thanks. You're the famous Emmeline?"

"Famous?"

"Ben never stops talking about you. Ow!" John winced as Benjy hit him in the arm.

Emmeline giggled. "I hope he stops talking about me sometime. But he's written me lots and lots about you too, John."

"He has?" John glared at Benjy, who shrugged.

"We probably ought not to keep your parents waiting, Emmie. I'll write you, John!" He pulled her away and back to where her parents were waiting as he waved goodbye to his friend.

Catherine took the two children by their arms and Apparated them home while Christopher dealt with Benjy's trunk. Outside the Tower, the kids bounded up the lane and into the house, Benjy grinning widely as he ran after Emmeline. She was fast for a six year old, with long legs for her age. Catherine waited for her husband then linked her elbow through his and they walked up the lane slowly.

Emmeline's Christmas was wonderful that year. She was so happy to have Benjy back that her happiness was infectious and spread to the rest of the small household as well. The children helped with the decorations and Christopher dragged in a huge Christmas tree and then bewitched it to sparkle, silver and gold iridescence on the needles. Emmeline and her mother made cookies while Benjy helped her father decorate the tree with ornaments and shift around the furniture while proudly proclaiming that he could Levitate the couches without any trouble, if he could use his wand.

Christmas Eve came soon enough, and Emmeline was awed at the display of lights. The Sea Tower was an open and airy structure on the inside, a single spiral staircase flying up the inside and leading off to rooms on either side of the Tower. The staircase had been draped with charmed candles in different colors and as Christopher flicked his wand they all illuminated at once, throwing light all the way up the inside of the Tower.

On Christmas Day they were up early, Catherine and Christopher not having a choice due to the shouting from downstairs. Once the elder Vances were downstairs as well the children dove into the presents, and soon cries of joy echoed up the Tower.

"Benjy, this is so cool!" Emmeline exclaimed, holding up a Gryffindor scarf and then draping it all around her neck.

"And I can't believe this, Emm!" She'd stitched together (with her mother's help) a banner for him to hang in his dorm, with the names of all his year flanking a rampant Gryffindor lion. They turned delighted eyes on each other as Mrs. Vance brought in tea and cookies.

Too soon for Emmeline it was time for Benjy to leave for school again. They spent the night in the observatory, as they had before he left the first time.

"Don't be too sad, Emmie. I'll be back at Easter, if you want."

"Of course I want! Mummy won't say no, either, I know she won't. It's just so long until then."

"I know. But the guys will love this banner and whenever I get lonely I can look at it and think of you. And same with your scarf. When you miss me, wrap up in it and pretend I'm here." Most boys of almost twelve wouldn't even think of saying anything like that, but Benjy had always had a huge soft spot for Emmeline. "You'll always be my best friend, always and forever."

Emmeline looked over at her friend, then felt tears stinging her eyes. "Not again," she whined quietly, causing Benjy to laugh and wrap his arms around her.

"You are allowed to cry, Emmie."

"But I don't _like_ it. Makes me feel stupid."

"You're not stupid, little sister. You're just sad. Me too."

"But you're not crying."

"I will if you don't stop."

She turned tear-filled eyes to him. "You can't cry. Never, ever." If he cried, she thought but didn't say, then something would really be wrong. Something would have happened, and he wouldn't be her Benjy anymore. Benjy couldn't cry. She was so serious that he nodded solemnly.

The next morning they saw him off at the train station, Benjy giving her one final hug before getting on the train and waving out the window as it pulled out of the station. She smiled through a wobbling lower lip as the train rounded the corner and disappeared from sight. Her father took her hand and led her back outside the station, into the alley and then bid her farewell, going off to work. Her mother took her home.

Easter was much the same, as Benjy visited then too. And soon enough it was summer, when he went to his own home and Floo'd every morning to the Tower's grate. He was allowed to use the Floo by himself now, as he was at Hogwarts. He was full of stories about Hogwarts and his friends there. Emmeline was the perfect audience, never shushing him or tuning out, gasping and laughing at all the right moments, and asking questions.

He left for a few weeks to visit his friends, but they never came to visit him. Emmeline wasn't sure if he was happy about that, but she didn't ask. He came back with more stories and crazy tales and took Emmeline for broom rides, as he'd learned how to fly one that past year. They used her father's Silver Arrow and flew out over the field that the Vances kept, Mrs. Vance keeping a careful eye on her daughter.

Emmeline loved flying with Benjy. They didn't go high or fast, but she sat on the broom in the circle of his arms as he leaned over her and controlled the broom carefully. She felt warm and safe, even flying high above the field.

Every time before he'd leave to go back to school they'd spend a night on the observation deck of the Tower, just talking. One night, the one before his fourth year, he took her flying over the cliffs. The moonlight shining on the waves was more beautiful than anything she'd ever seen, and they were flying for a long time. They would fly along over the cliffs then duck back to the fields, then flick over to where the drop was hundreds of feet. It took Emmeline's breath away.

Years passed slowly for Emmeline. She wrote Benjy on a weekly basis when he was at school, and he always responded quickly enough. He'd come to her house in the winter and spring and summer, if he wasn't at one of his other friend's places. She was grateful that he didn't desert her as he got older, not that she thought he ever would. He was Benjy. He'd always be there and they'd always be best friends, she knew.

* * *

Okay, if anyone actually reads this... please do leave a review. Basically, this is going to be a story of Emmeline's life until her death in the sixth book, as you could probably tell. There will be romance, of course, and Remus is listed as the second character because he'll play a pretty significant part in the later chapters. If you read and enjoyed, or have questions or comments or suggestions or anything, drop me a line!


	2. A Letter and a Friend

Emmeline's school letter was greeted with a shriek of happiness that had her father wincing as her mother laughed. "I'm going! I have to tell Benjy!"

"Go on dear, give me your school list…" Catherine trailed off as her daughter bolted up the stairs to her room for a quill and parchment. The school list was tossed over the railing of the flying staircase a moment later, and Mrs. Vance caught it as it floated down. "Are you coming to Diagon Alley with us, Chris?"

"I think I will. There's been some talk about a man rising in power… I wouldn't like you going alone. When are we going?"

"Saturday, I was thinking. We can take Benjy along as well. Honestly, I don't know why she has to write him—he's coming over later today anyway. We'll ask him if he'd like to go then. And what new man rising?" Catherine cleared the plates from their interrupted breakfast as Emmeline pounded down the stairs and attached the letter to Mercury's leg, sending him out the window quickly. The owl gave an indignant hoot but flapped away into the early morning.

Christopher Vance stood up, gathering his traveling cloak from the stand beside the door. "It's probably nothing, we get rumors all the time. I'll be off, and home in a few days. Come give me a kiss, Emmeline." His daughter bounded up to him and pecked him on the cheek with a hug. Then she ran outside and looked out over the cliffs and down to the smoky blue sea beneath. Her hair whipped back in the wind as her brown eyes filled with happiness. She was going to Hogwarts!

When she turned around at the distant sound of the creaky door, she saw Benjy running out the door of the Tower, having just Floo'd over, with his lanky fifteen-year-old stride. "Benjy Benjy Benjy!" She shouted, and started running to him. They met each other halfway, his smile mirroring her own as he picked her up and swung her around. "I'm going to Hogwarts with you this year!"

"I knew you'd get in, little sister." He set her down and slung his arm around her shoulders, having to stoop slight to do so. They walked into the Tower together where Catherine was washing the dishes from breakfast.

"Ah, Benjy, I take it you've heard our news." Mrs. Vance's eyes glittered with suppressed laughter.

"I heard something, yeah. Emmie here is very good at getting the point across." Benjy grinned lazily at Mrs. Vance, who laughed. He was quickly becoming good-looking, and he had the arrogance to know it, Catherine thought with a smile at the soapy water in the sink.

"Benjy," she said, turning from the sink to look at him. "Would you like to go to Diagon Alley with us? Emmeline needs her school things, and I know she'd have more fun if you were there."

"Yeah come on, Benjy! You can show me where to get everything—my robes, books, Potions ingredients, and my wand! I get a wand, Mummy, I get a wand!" The eleven-year-old was flushed with excitement and her hair fell in tangles around her face.

"I know you get a wand, Emmeline, and I shudder at the thought. Now, run along. I have things to do. You two can go flying to celebrate, how about that? Just stay nearby. Benjy—"

He grinned that leonine grin again. "I'll look after her, don't worry about a thing, Mrs. Vance. Come on, Emmie." The two left with a door slam, and Catherine let her giggles out. Benjy was a cute one and he knew it. She was certain that if not already, soon the girls would be falling all over themselves when he flashed them a grin and wink of those bright, spring green eyes.

Emmeline and Benjy took the broom out of the shed and flew off over the cliffs, then zoomed out over the village of Tinworth, looking like a small patchwork quilt with all the different colors and designs of wizard houses. Emmeline leaned back into Benjy's warm chest, chattering away which made him have to suppress a smile. She only talked as much as she was doing when she was really excited or nervous. And right then, he suspected it was a bit of both.

They returned to the Sea Tower later that day, where Catherine served them lunch. Both the older people listened to Emmeline ranting away about how amazing Hogwarts was going to be, careful not to look at each other.

The next few days passed slowly for Emmeline, even though her father returned and Benjy was over every day. Eventually Saturday came and Emmeline was with the people she loved most in all the world as they Apparated into the Leaky Cauldron. Mr. and Mrs. Vance nodded cordially at the barkeeper and then took the kids out back, where Christopher tapped a certain brick with his wand and the archway clinked into place.

Emmeline needed about six more eyes as she tried to see everything. Benjy leaned down and she jumped up onto his shoulders, strong from playing Quidditch Beater at school. She observed the Alley from her new perch, still wishing she had more eyes. "You okay way up there, Emmie?" He asked.

"There's so much stuff!" She shouted back, then giggled. "And the ground's so far away!"

Benjy jumped about a foot in the air and she shrieked delightedly. "Benjy, this way," called Catherine. "We need to get her robes."

Benjy put Emmeline down before they entered the shop. He removed his school bag from his side as well, taking from it a few sets of robes that needed letting out so they were longer. "Dear, I could do that for you," Catherine said.

"That's all right, Mrs. Vance. I think you're going to have your hands full with Emmie over the next few weeks without having to extend my robes as well." Benjy wasn't telling the full truth, Emmeline could tell, but she'd promised her mother that she wouldn't ask awkward questions before she was old enough to understand. And with that strange, child-like sense of things, she didn't feel like she'd properly understand yet.

After Madam Malkin's they went to buy books for Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Defense, History, and Astronomy. Her parents also bought her a few extra books, for the things she seemed more interested in. Benjy had been right five years before—she did like the sound of Transfiguration.

Finally, her wand. She was the first one to enter the cool and dusty shop, and the man with silver eyes sought her out after greeting her parents and Benjy. "Christopher Vance, eleven and three quarter inches, dragon heartstring. And dear Catherine, lovely to see you, fifteen inches and phoenix tail feather. Benjamin Fenwick, also phoenix tail feather, fourteen and a quarter inches." The three nodded and murmured when he addressed them, then he turned to Emmeline.

She shrank back slightly, then stopped herself. Nothing was going to hurt her—she was the safest girl in the worlds, with her parents and Benjy to guard her. She met his eyes curiously, banishing her fear. "Miss Emmeline Vance, I am Mr. Olivander. Let's see what we have for you." He turned away and set a wand in front of her, polished and golden in the faint lamplight. "Dragon heartstring and oak, thirteen and a half inches. Give it a swish."

Feeling slightly foolish, Emmeline picked up the wand only to have it snatched out of her hands by the old man. "No… here, this one. Dragon heartstring and beech, nine inches." Emmeline picked up the short wand and had that one taken away from her as well.

"This," he handed her the next box. "Rowan and unicorn hair, fourteen and a quarter inches." She picked it up and felt a warmth in her fingers as she brought the wand down in an arc over her head and silver sparks shot forth.

She looked around with a huge smile at her family. "Did you see? Did you see?" Her parents nodded proudly as Benjy gave her a thumbs up and a wink. She winked back at him. Benjy looked very proud of something, and Emmeline realized that her wand was the same length as hers. She gave him a huge smile, showing almost all her teeth, and he laughed.

"There we have it then. That wand is particularly good for Transfiguration." Benjy mouthed _I told you so_ at Emmeline who nodded happily. "Enjoy your new wand, and have a good time at school, Miss Emmeline." Olivander smiled gently at her as her parents passed over the money for the wand and then led the way back out into the sunlight, Emmeline staring at her wand.

Mr. Vance checked his watch and mentioned something about ice cream, to which Emmeline agreed happily. They went and sat down at Florean Fortesques Ice Cream parlor and Catherine took her daughter up to get the ice cream while Mr. Vance stayed with Benjy to remind him to look after Emmeline at school that year, out of his proud daughter's hearing. Benjy assured him repeatedly of protecting her which Christopher felt relieved at. Once they were all eating ice cream Emmeline was forced to be silent for fear of all her ice cream melting over her hand.

The few weeks leading up to September first were exciting for Emmeline, as she studied her books and tried to memorize as much as she could. She couldn't believe that she would be actually doing real magic soon enough, and kept looking over at her wand lovingly.

On the morning of the train Emmeline was up early, and to her surprise her parents were both sitting at the table waiting for her. Her mother rose and kissed her daughter on the forehead. "Emmeline, dearest, your father and I have a present for you."

"Really?"

"Indeed, my dear," her father continued, smiling at her. "Go look in the Owlery." The Vances kept a tiny but proper Owlery for Mercury, tucked away with access above the kitchen sink. Emmeline darted into the kitchen and pulled a chair over to the small door to stand on.

Opening the door she sat not one but two sets of shining eyes. She gently reached into the transformed cupboard and felt a set of talons latch onto her hand. Drawing it out slowly, she gasped as a barn owl's moon-like visage looked at her, tawny ruff fanning out perfectly from the snowy face.

"It's a female. You may name her whatever you like—and she is yours on one condition." Her parents had followed her into the kitchen. Emmeline nodded, entranced. "You must write to us at least once a month, preferably more."

"Of course," the eleven-year-old breathed. She remembered flying with Benjy when the moonlight sparkled on the waves. "I'm going to call you Arrow, is that okay?" She murmured to the owl. The bird hooted and rustled her wings softly.

"Arrow it is, then," Christopher said. "We've got a cage and everything you need for her all ready. You better go finish packing everything, princess."

Emmeline set the owl back in the dark Owlery slowly, then turned and leapt on her parents, hugging them both at once. "Thank you so much!" She darted up the spiral stairs as there was a whoosh at the fireplace. "Benjy!" she called, debated about coming down, then turned and descended in a controlled fall to skid to a stop in front the grate. She greeted him with a beam and dragged him into the kitchen. "Look Benjy! Her name's Arrow and Mummy and Daddy gave her to me! Isn't she beautiful?"

Benjy nodded and ran a knuckle along the owl's soft feathers. "She is. Are you excited, Emmie?" He grinned as she nodded quickly.

"I'll be right back—I have to go get my trunk!"

Benjy ran up the stairs after her, calling back to her parents, "I think I better help her with that."

In Emmeline's room she was frantically looking around for anything she might have forgotten. "Calm down, Emmie." Benjy said, though he was remembering doing much the same thing when he was about to take the train for the first time. "If you forget anything you can just have Arrow fetch it to you. Why'd you call her Arrow, anyway?"

"Remember last year, when we went flying out over the cliffs?" She waited until he'd nodded. "Well, she reminded me of the moonlight on the waves because it was so beautiful and she's so beautiful, and we were riding a Silver Arrow and I didn't want to name her Silver. So, she's Arrow."

"Well, it's a great name. Now come on, help me pick up this trunk." Benjy carried most of the load down the narrow twisting stairway but Emmeline tried to help. "I think she's ready, Mr. and Mrs. Vance. I was also wondering…" he stopped and then said quietly, "Could you take me to the station as well? My Mum isn't feeling well."

"Of course, Benjy. Come along, you two." Mr. Vance Levitated the two trunks out the door, Emmeline carrying Arrow in her cage and Benjy hefting his broomstick over his shoulder. He'd bought Christopher's old broom, the famous Silver Arrow, the year before when he'd made the Quidditch team. Mr. Vance led the way down the lane, then Catherine Apparated the students to the station, followed by her husband with the luggage.

The four of them walked into the train station, Benjy getting trolleys for the trunks and helping Christopher set the bulky items on them. Emmeline knew what to do at the barrier and went through without a hitch after Benjy did, pushing her trolley quickly. She felt a slight tingle of fear. The scarlet train was there, and she was actually going to get on it this year. Then she shook her head. Benjy would be there too, and so there was nothing to fear. With that in mind she trailed him to the train cars. Her parents watched her as Benjy helped get her trunk on board, then she went back to say her goodbyes.

Benjy was already there, giving her mother a hug goodbye. He shook her father's hand and they exchanged handshakes and words, then laughed together. He kissed her mother on the cheek and then tactfully drew back to let Emmeline say farewell.

Her father was first. He knelt down and held out his arms, swallowing hard. "Come here, princess." She hugged him tightly then kissed him on the cheek. "Be good, sweetheart. If anyone hurts you, go to Benjy. He'll help you with whatever you need."

Emmeline nodded and whispered into his collar, "I will. I love you, Daddy."

"Love you too, princess. Now, say goodbye to your mother and don't miss your train." He released her and kissed her forehead.

Emmeline went to her mother, who held her close. "You be good and listen to Benjy, all right Emmeline? And write us."

"I will, Mummy." Emmeline breathed in the unique smell of her mother, that clean scent and light hints of the jasmine soap she used every day. "I love you."

"I love you so much, my dearest. I know you'll be brilliant at school." Her mother drew back and looked at Emmeline with tears sparkling in her eyes. "Go on now."

Benjy placed a hand on her shoulder and gently drew her towards the train, which was billowing steam in preparation to leave as a final whistle blew. Benjy made sure Emmeline was on the train and then turned around to wave goodbye as the train started moving. Emmeline waved her hand frantically, watching as her parents vanished as the train pulled out of the station and away from London.

They eventually shut the window they were leaning out of and Benjy looked down at Emmeline. "I'll help you find a compartment with people your age, alright? I'm a prefect again this year, so I have to go to the prefect's compartments up front. But if you need me, don't hesitate to come up there and ask for me. I'm always here for you, Emmie." She nodded as he picked up her trunk and hauled it down the train, looking in compartments.

He eventually found on with a few young girls in it and he set down the trunk, motioning her to knock on the door. She did so, and he asked as she door slid open, "Can Emmie sit here? She's new this year."

A dark blond girl looked up. "Emm? Is that you?"

Emmeline smiled back as she recognized the other girl. "Alice! Hi. Benjy, I know Alice." She turned to look up at him and he winked down at her.

"All right then." He set her trunk up in the rack and knelt down to give her a quick hug, whispering in her ear, "Make lots of friends because you're amazing and people like amazing people, okay little sister?"

She nodded and hugged him back, then turned in to the compartment. He shut the door behind her.

"Was that Benjamin Fenwick?" An older girl asked her. This girl looked like Alice and Emmeline thought she recognized her… "Marlene McKinnon, Alice's older sister. We've met a few times, at parties."

"I thought I knew you." Emmeline sat down opposite Alice by a tearful red-haired girl. "Yeah, that's Benjy. Why?"

"Because he's just about the cutest boy in Gryffindor Tower, that's why! Alice, you never said your friend was Ben's friend! Or are you related? You look a lot alike."

Emmeline smiled and shook her head. "No, we're not related. Benjy's my oldest friend, I've known him forever. He always looks out for me."

"That's so sweet…" Marlene drifted off dreamily. "He looks after his first-year friend… such a nice guy."

"You know him well?"

"Hah, I wish." Emmeline was slightly confused and so she didn't ask any more questions. She looked instead at the tearful girl.

"Are you scared to be leaving your parents?" She asked kindly.

"N-no," The girl sniffed. "It's something else."

"Oh. Okay." Emmeline didn't know what else to say so she started speaking to Alice instead. "What house do you think you'll be in?"

"Gryffindor. Like Leeny here."

Her sister scowled at her. "Don't call me that, _Leesy_."

Alice stuck her tongue out at Marlene and her older sister sighed in disgust. "You are so immature, Alice. If Ben Fenwick stops back in here, don't you dare embarrass me."

Emmeline resolved to ask Benjy later about why Alice's sister seemed to want to impress him. She didn't think she'd get any decent answers out of Marlene McKinnon.

The train ride passed quicker than Emmeline expected. She had changed into her school robes when the sun went down, and now the train was stopping. She and Alice looked at each other, scared. The other girl, the sniffing one, had left earlier with a greasy-haired boy who came into their compartment apologizing profusely. She'd smiled at him and forgiven him, then they went away. Alice and Emmeline had shrugged.

Now, as they stood out on the platform, Emmeline felt a hand on her shoulder. She squeaked slightly and turned, then grinned shakily at Benjy. "You okay, Emmie?"

"Yeah, thanks Benjy! Where do we go now?"

"I'm taking the carriages up to the castle, you get to go across in the boats. See that man? The big one shouting for the first years? He's Hagrid the gamekeeper, follow him. I'll see you at the feast later. Good luck!" He vanished into the crowd as Emmeline grabbed Alice's arm and dragged her over to the big man. They ended up with a bunch of other terrified-looking first years and followed Hagrid down to the boats. Alice and Emmeline were joined in their boat by a pink-cheeked smiling girl and a nervous looking brown-haired girl who had her lips pressed together tightly.

"I'm Emmeline," she introduced herself. Alice did the same and they learned that the pink-cheeked girl was named Hestia Jones while the nervous one was called Mary McDonald.

As they crossed the lake the castle emerged. Even though she had rarely been away from her home, Emmeline thought she knew what a big place looked like. The McKinnon Castle, for one, but even it was dwarfed by the immense Hogwarts. The Sea Tower had seven floors as well, but it looked like a toy tower compared to the school. Lights reflected on the still water of the lake from all the windows. Emmeline felt her mouth drop open from the sheer size of it as the boats bumped the shore. They stumbled their way up to the main doors, which opened as Hagrid knocked.

In the wash of light from the Entrance Hall, Emmeline made out a stern looking witch. "I am Professor McGonagall," the raven-haired youngish-looking woman said. "I am the Transfiguration teacher here, as well as the Head of Gryffindor House. Some of you will be Sorted into Gryffindor, while others will go into Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin. Should you do well in class you will earn points for your good behavior, whereas if you misbehave points will be taken away. It is a very great honor to win the House Cup, which is awarded at the end of the year to the House with the most points.

"While you are here, your House will be like your family. You attend classes, sleep, and eat with them. Each House is known for different traits in its students, and all have produced worthy witches and wizards." She turned and led them into an antechamber off the Great Hall, then continued. "Wait here until I return to fetch you. Try and make yourselves presentable. You are about to be Sorted."

As she left, a babble of whispers broke out in the stone room. Alice turned terrified eyes to Emmeline, who smiled somewhat reassuringly at her. "It's okay. Benjy told me all you have to do is try on a hat, and it talks to you and tells you where you should go."

"Oh, _good_," Alice said fervently. "The Prewett twins are already here and they kept going on about fighting a giant."

Professor McGonagall returned soon and beckoned imperiously to the first-years, who all tried not to be the leader as they walked up between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables. Emmeline looked over at Gryffindor where Benjy caught her eye and mouthed _go, go, Gryffindor!_ She smiled at him and bit her lip so she didn't giggle nervously.

The Hat sang a song, as Benjy had told her it would. She knew she ought to pay attention, but she couldn't bring herself to. She settled instead for looking over the Hall, the banners displayed proudly above the tables as the Hat's gruff voice echoed out. After the end there was applause.

She was at the end of the list, with a name like Vance. Her attention was caught, however, when a black-haired and light eyed boy sauntered forward, a crest on the breast of his robes. She squinted and read _Tojoures Pur_. Always pure… Alice shrank up against Emmeline. "That's Sirius Black!" She breathed. Suddenly Emmeline understood. The Blacks were a Dark family through and through. She was looking at the heir to the Black family legacy and fortune, and she knew that the Sorting hat would put him in Slytherin, where his kind belonged.

She was therefore in shock, as was the rest of the Hall, when the Hat shouted out in a piercing, defining voice, "_Gryffindor_!"

There was silence, then the sound of two people clapping, one slow and proud, the other frenzied and delighted. "Oh, _Sirius_!" A brown-haired girl at the Ravenclaw table shouted as she clapped quickly, a huge smile breaking out all over her face. "Well done Sirius!" The other clapper, up at the High Table, was Headmaster Dumbledore.

A girl with heavy lidded eyes stood up at the Slytherin table as Sirius shakily stood up and removed the Hat, looking at it like it had just stabbed him. "Auntie will hear about this. Blood traitor!" She shot at him. She swept out of the hall, figure-hugging robes swirling behind her as she slammed the doors.

Sirius walked slowly to the Gryffindor table, where they were regarding him confusedly and some of them slightly hostile. He sat down and several people scooted away from him, causing his face to fall even more. But then Emmeline thought she saw, just barely as Professor McGonagall called up the next person in an unsteady voice, a tiny smile at the corner of his mouth. But then she wasn't quite sure. After all, why would a _Black_ be happy to be Sorted in Gryffindor?

There were several other Gryffindors named before Emmeline was called. Mary, the crying girl on the train, and Alice were all in Gryffindor. Hestia was Sorted in Hufflepuff, and she looked pleased with her House as they welcomed her with pats on the back and hugs. Then… "Vance, Emmeline!"

Emmeline stumbled out of line, biting her lip again. She sat quickly down on the stool before she fell and felt rather than saw the Hat drop over her eyes.

_So, a Vance. Been a long time since your parents, girl._

Emmeline stifled a gasp. _Oh yes, I talk. But you already knew that, didn't you? Bright girl. You'd do well in Ravenclaw, but I'm getting something else here… Bravery. And loyalty. Well, loyalty is a classic Hufflepuff trait, but it's known to Gryffindors as well because you can't have bravery without at least a touch of it… I suppose that does it. Off you go, chop chop, into—_She almost thought it was amused as it shouted out "Gryffindor!" to the general Hall. She practically ran to the Gryffindor table as Benjy stood up and gave her a hug.

"That's my Emmie!" He shouted. "Come on—your friends are over here." He led her to where the other first year girls were sitting and sat down as well, John next to him. She recognized a some people as she watched the last few first-years being Sorted. Emmeline had taken the seat next to Alice and they both stared at the Headmaster as he rose to speak after the Sorting.

"Another year, my dear students. There are words I must say, but they are not for now. Dig in, all of you!" Food suddenly appeared on the plates in front of them, massive amounts of all kinds of food imaginable. Benjy helped her reach for some of those too far away, then they all started eating and for a few moments, the noises of chewing, clinking goldware against gold plates, and drinking were all the noises that Emmeline could hear.

After she'd sated some of her hunger she sat back and ate only little bits at a time, looking down the table at some of her new Housemates. There was a little knot of first year boys and a separate one of the first year girls that Emmeline was sitting in. And then there was Sirius Black, pushing some potatoes around on his plate with his fork while sitting three feet from anyone, a feat at the crowded Gryffindor table. Emmeline was very curious about him—all she'd ever heard about Blacks was that they were bad. But then again, she figured in the privacy of her mind as she munched on a green bean, everyone thought all Vances were for the light and had been since Gryffindor's time. But there was that not-too-distant relation of hers, Loxias. He had a wand of immense power, some said, while others thought it was just the wizard himself. He'd terrorized England in the early eighteen hundreds, then perished at a relatively young age.

_We can't choose who we're related to_, Emmeline decided as she finished off her beans. She resolved to get to know Sirius Black, or at least try to, starting the following day. Her parents had explained why the Dark families, and the Black family in particular were so awful, of course, but she thought that Sirius could hardly help being related to them. And he was eleven, after all. He was hardly able to distance himself from his family at that age. Benjy had escaped from whatever his problems were by coming to Emmeline's house, but Sirius probably didn't have any friends to help him away.

As dessert appeared she took a piece of blackberry tart, then grinned as she noticed Benjy eating the same, albeit a larger serving, thing. After that was gone the food vanished again and she sat back with a sigh, feeling pleasantly stuffed. The prefects in their fifth and sixth years—she blinked sleepily at Benjy, who was in the sixth year, when he winked at her and that made him laugh—showed them the way to the common room. It was apparently hidden behind a portrait of a very fat pink lady, and the password was _tarantallegra._ Benjy chuckled and explained that _tarantallegra_ was a jinx that made your opponent do a funny dance out of their control. Emmeline noted that away in her memory and resolved to use it on James Potter the next time he tormented her and Benjy wasn't around to punch him in the nose. James Potter was in her year and her house, so she knew there'd be no escaping him. But she always had Benjy.

As she went up the stairs to her dormitory she was joined by Alice, Mary, and Lily, who was the crying girl. She'd introduced herself earlier at dinner, but she hadn't said why she was crying. She looked much more cheerful now, even though they were all so tired that they practically fell into bed the moment they'd changed into their pajamas.

The next morning Emmeline was up early and trailed an older Ravenclaw down to breakfast. She scanned the Gryffindor table and located the lone first-year with black hair and grey eyes, who was nibbling on a piece of toast. She nodded to herself and walked over to him. "Can I sit here?"

He looked up at her, tucking away shock behind an ambivalent mask. "Like I care where you sit."

"Thanks." Emmeline sat down and pulled some toast and an apple over to herself, taking a bite out of the fruit as she buttered the toast. "I'm Emmeline, by the way." Looking across the way she saw Benjy frown at her company and start to get up, but she shook her head slightly. His eyes narrowed and he continued to watch them, but made no further moves to come to her defense.

"Why are you sitting here?"

Emmeline glanced up from her apple and met those grey eyes. "Because you looked lonely."

"Well, I'm not," Sirius Black bit out.

"Sorry for the mistake then. But now I don't feel like moving." She reached for a bit of toast.

He glared at her. "Why don't you just go off and sit with your friends?"

"Because they don't look lonely."

"I'm not lonely!" He snapped, but quietly so as not to draw attention.

Emmeline shrugged as she set her butter knife on the table. "As you will. Lie if it makes you feel better."

Something in him seemed to slump down and he looked away. "If you want a story you're not getting one, so just go away and save yourself the bother."

"And if you want a friend in Gryffindor, this isn't the way to get one, so move and save yourself the bother of my chatter," she shot back.

Warily, his eyes found her shoulder. "I don't need any friends in Gryffindor. I'll change Houses."

"Mmm, I don't think they'll let you do that. And even if they did, what's the point? You're marked as a Gryffindor, and it's not so bad."

"Not for you, with a Light family. I'm Black as I'm named."

"And your name's getting blacker every day, it's filthy," Emmeline quipped. Sirius Black opened his mouth to argue but she cut him off and pressed on. "But you've got a chance to change that. You're in Gryffindor. My family had a horrible time after Loxias had had his say in England. Loxias Venz, know him? We changed our name and moved south to Tinworth, but for a while people still hated us and feared us. Well, you've got a chance to do the opposite. People hate and fear your family—change that." She stood up and smiled at him as the bell rang. "Think about it."

Trotting off to catch up with Lily and Alice and Mary she grinned to herself. Her good deed for the day was done, but the day was far from over. And that was perfectly fine with her.

Her first class of the day was Charms with the other first-year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws. Emmeline grinned with anticipation. This was what she had been waiting for, ever since Benjy had written that first letter. She hoped something more exciting would happen in her class like it did in Benjy's—not that Levitating feathers wasn't going to be exciting. But something like the flower petals…

She should have remembered—there was never a dull moment with James Potter around. A stentch radiated through the classroom and Emmeline saw Potter tucking away a suspicious-looking package into his bag. She rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. She knew he could do better than a Dungbomb. And she was looking forward to it.

She didn't manage to Levitate her feather, although it did twitch a bit and the end raised about three inches off her desk. Lily Evans got hers flying though, and she looked over pleased with herself.

Potions was after Charms, and they were paired with the Slytherins. Lily ran over to get a desk with her friend Severus Snape, as she introduced him to the girls as, and Emmeline recognized him as that greasy haired boy from the train. Alice and Mary paired together, so Emmeline was left with Sirius Black. She smiled at him as they took out their books.

The professor was a big fat man who looked like a walrus. His name was Professor Slughorn, and he didn't even acknowledge that Sirius Black was on his roll. Emmeline thought he seemed upset whenever he looked at her soon-to-be-friend, but she didn't bother about it. She set up her new cauldron and laid out what Slughorn said they would need for their first potion, a so-called simple potion to deal with nosehair.

Sirius Black scowled at his cauldron and book alternately. "Not so great with potions?" Emmeline asked.

He turned his scowl on her. "You're being nice to me again."

She pondered that for a moment, then nodded brightly. "Yep!"

Sirius let out a groan and dropped his head onto his book. Emmeline bit back a giggle. "Now what's so funny?" He muttered into the pages.

"You sound like you don't want anyone to be nice to you."

"Maybe I don't."

"Less talk over here, please," Slughorn boomed from behind them.

"Sorry sir," Emmeline said. "Won't hear us again." She waited until Slughorn moved away before speaking in a quieter, gently scathing voice. "If you don't want anyone to be nice to you and you don't want to be in Gryffindor, might as well just go home now. There's no law requiring you to go to Hogwarts. Why stick around if you hate it and us so much, and you're not even in the House you think you should be?"

He glared sullenly at her. "Shut up," he muttered. "I can't go home."

"Why not?"

"Because my mother—that's none of your business!"

Something about the Hogwarts atmosphere, or at least trying to befriend Sirius Black, was making Emmeline more talkative than she normally was unless she was scared or angry. "Well, okay, it's none of my business. But I do think you'd like a friend."

"Why would I want you to be my friend? And why do you want to be my friend? I'm a blood-traitor Black, something that's never happened before. Since you're not getting popular by talking to me, or getting to know good people, why bother?"

It was the most she'd heard him speak. She chose her words carefully in response. "Because you look like you need a friend who won't judge you based on your family. I don't want to be popular, I want to be able to feel good about the things that I did today, and one of those would be getting you to accept me as a friend. My Daddy—he said something about that once." Emmeline stopped, trying to remember the exact wording, and she saw that she'd finally caught Sirius Black's attention. "He was talking about his job and he said 'I always tell new recruits not to be Aurors because they think it's a heroic job, or because they want dangerous lives. If you want be a hero, work for the Healers. If you want danger, go into pro Quidditch or dragonhunting or troll taming. Be an Auror because you want to be able to sleep at night calmly, without regretting your actions of the day. Do it because you want to keep your family safe.' It's the same idea, you know?"

"No." He almost unconsciously passed over a spare chopped mushroom that they were supposed to put into their potions.

Emmeline took the mushroom bits, hiding a smile as she fought for better words to explain. "It's like—I'm not trying to be your friend because I want to feel better about myself, or feel okay because I wasn't ignoring you. I want to be your friend because you need a friend and you need someone to stick by you. Until the others see sense, I'm the only one willing to give you a chance."

He looked at her, long and hard. She met his eyes, for a change not smiling or grinning or laughing. Once she grew slightly uncomfortable with his staring she raised an eyebrow easily, having spent a few weeks teaching herself how to do that on one of the times Benjy was at school. His lips twitched at the unexpected movement. "Well?" She finally asked.

"Why me? Why not the boy in my dorm, Peter Pettigrew? He doesn't have any friends either."

Emmeline nodded over to where James Potter was helping Peter. "He doesn't have everything and everyone wanting him to fail."

The bell rang and Sirius packed his things quickly. The next time Emmeline looked up, he was gone. She sighed, but hoped that she'd made a convincing argument.

At lunchtime she sat with Benjy, not wanting to push herself on Sirius. She could spot him at the table anyway, and reasoned that he must be off thinking or sulking by himself. Benjy offered to walk her to her double History of Magic class so she wouldn't get lost. "Emmie? Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Emmeline stopped and leaned against the wall outside her classroom. "Go ahead, Benjy."

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Why were you talking with Black earlier?"

Emmeline sighed as well, and felt slightly disappointed in her friend. "Benjy, don't lecture me about not talking to strangers, I'll never meet anyone."

"That's not what I meant and you know it, Emmie."

"Fine then. I was talking to him because he looked lonely."

"And why would you care about that?"

"Don't you recall that's how we met too?"

"You said you were just watching me…"

"I was two and a half, of course I couldn't recognize emotions. But you were lonely, weren't you?"

Benjy didn't say anything about that and changed the subject, which was all the answer Emmeline needed. "But he's a Black, Emmie! I promised your father I'd look out for you, and I can't do that if you go off with the likes of—"

"Likes of what, Benjy?" Emmeline asked coolly. Benjy drew back slightly, startled. She was always nice, and this quiet tone was not like her. "Are you saying that I'm not allowed to even talk to him because of his last name? Because of who his parents are?"

"Well, no, but Emmie—"

"Because that's like saying you'll end up exactly like your father. Or you already are like him. And your mother. No, I don't know what your problem with your family is but you more than others should understand that Sirius Black needs someone to give him a chance without judging him first!" Emmeline was returning Benjy's glare, even though she was barely half his height. "And don't you look at me like that, Benjamin Fenwick! You know everything I'm saying is true, and you don't like that."

"Of course I don't like it, _Emmeline Vance_. Saying Black and I are alike is like saying—like saying—"

"Like saying that you're alike. It's the truth! Look," she muttered to him, still glaring up with her dark brown eyes that he'd always found so warm. "We're Gryffindors. That means we stick together through thick and thin. Hufflepuffs might be accepting of anyone but we're vocal about it! You think he feels welcome in our common room? You think he feels wanted? As far as I know, I'm the only person who's addressed him directly besides the Ravenclaw girl and that Slytherin. The teachers don't even talk to him! That's not open and welcoming." She stopped, breathing heavier than she normally would. "I'm all for your protection and I respect that, but there's a severe line between gentle guidance and overprotection. I choose to try and make friends with Sirius Black and until he shows me otherwise, I'm going to act like I'm his friend. If he doesn't want my help fine, that's his choice. But at least I'm giving him a chance. Otherwise… otherwise we're like Slytherins. Judging before we know."

She gave him a thoroughly disgusted look that he'd never thought to see addressed his way, then slipped out from under his arm and walked into her History of Magic class ten minutes early, making a clear point as she sat down sharply at a desk and ignored him. Benjy sighed and walked away, though her words didn't leave him, and he didn't put as much thought into Transfiguring his hedgehog as he should have done.

Emmeline, meanwhile, once she was sure Benjy had gone, put her head down on her folded arms and blinked hard. She hated shouting at him. He was her oldest and best friend, and he didn't deserve shouting at. Then she stopped and swallowed. Did he deserve it? Gryffindor house was about bravery, and that was what it took to stand up to people who were wrong. Maybe Sirius had bravery in him too that would show forth eventually, but he had to be given a chance. And Emmeline knew she was right, as painful as it had been to reprimand Benjy.

She jumped slightly as someone thumped down into the seat next to her. She glanced sideways through tears she was trying hard not to let fall. She offered him a tremulous smile. "Hey."

"I heard all of that." He wasn't meeting her eyes, but fidgeting with a quill. "Do you… do you really believe that?"

"Which part?" She stifled a sniffle.

"Both earlier today and just now. It's not some stupid Gryffindor ploy for self-righteousness?"

"I thought I'd made that clear. I'm willing to be your friend. You're no different because of your name, or you shouldn't be. Like I said, that's what the Slytherins do—judge before they know. Not meaning any disrespect to your relatives in Slytherin, but…"

"You're right." he said quietly, still not meeting her eyes.

"About what?"

"None of my family will talk to me now. I think tomorrow there's going to be a Howler from my mother. No one's talked to me from Gryffindor, and the teachers don't know what to do with me. None of this would have happened if I'd been in Slytherin."

"Do you want to be in Slytherin?" She asked the question bluntly.

He flinched and looked out the window. "I don't know. I don't think so, not any more. It'd be different if I'd gone straight there, but now… you're right, they'll never accept me."

"So… are you going to take me up on my offer?"

Sirius bit his lip, then nodded slowly. "If… if you're sure."

"Of course I'm sure. I try not to say things I don't mean, because you don't have to take back things you've never said. So, let's start this thing properly." She dried all her tears away with the corner of her sleeve and smiled at him, sticking out her hand. "Hi. I'm Emmeline Vance."

He glanced down at her hand then back up at her. A slight smile curled at the edge of his mouth as he gripped her hand in his own and shook it firmly. "Sirius Black. Nice to meet you, Emmeline."

"Call me Emm. Are you any good at Charms?"

"Kind of, why?"

"Because I can't make that feather float even now." She took out her wand and showed him, trying to Levitate a quill on her desk.

"Here—" he started as the doors opened and the class poured in. He raised his voice as the noise grew from the students. "You have to swish your wand before the flick. And it's a swish, not a slash."

She tried it again, her brow furrowed in concentration. The quill raised off the desk a few inches then the spell failed. "My wand is supposed to be good for Transfiguration, not Charms."

"Just work at it, you'll get it soon enou—is that the teacher?" A ghost had drifted through the blackboard, coughing dryly and looking down at the notes on his desk. Without any intro he began the lecture. Emmeline soon found herself dozing off, using her folded arms over a textbook as a pillow. A look to the left showed her that Sirius was flat out sleeping on his own book.

Double History that day was followed by Herbology with the Hufflepuffs. Emmeline and Sirius took turns in pruning the Flutterby Bush they were assigned, and even though there were a few rogue cuts as the plant shied away from the clippers, Emmeline thought that they did a rather nice job.

The two went back to the common room, Sirius keeping that small smile on his face all the way despite the whispers that followed. They left their bags in their dorms and then went down to dinner, seating themselves in a clear patch at the Gryffindor table as food appeared. Lily Evans joined them soon enough, but the rest kept their distance.

She probably didn't know the prejudice, Emmeline though as she smiled at the new arrival. "Hi Lily. Have you met Sirius?"

"No, I don't think so. Hi, I'm Lily Evans."

Sirius regarded her warily and Emmeline nudged him in the side. "Say hello, Sirius."

"Hello."

Emmeline rolled her eyes and whispered loudly to Lily. "I'm going to try and train him to be nice and social."

Lily darted a glance at the quiet boy. "Good luck with that."

Emmeline nodded and sighed. "You should help. You can be his friend too."

Lily looked at Sirius and grinned. "Okay." The boy seemed to consider her for a moment, then looked down at his plate again. Lily shrugged and took out a book, propping it up against a jug of pumpkin juice. She started reading it and then shook her head wearily.

"Honestly, I have so much to learn. You're so lucky Emm, coming from a Wizarding family. I still can't get used to the pictures moving! Severus told me they were going to, but I can actually talk to them!"

"Muggle paintings don't move, that's right. If you ask me, that's the funny thing." The two girls continued chatting as Sirius watched them carefully. He'd never met a Muggle-born, and Emmeline knew that if she was going to get Gryffindor Tower to accept him he'd have to get used to not being prejudiced against Muggle-borns.

The next day the three of them made their way down to the Great Hall together. Alice and Mary gave the other two wary looks when they saw their company, and James Potter's lip curled as he spied the other dark-haired boy. James was already making friends with the other boys in his dorm, if not Sirius—a tired-looking one named Remus Lupin and a Muggle-born called Peter Pettigrew that Emmeline had seen him helping in Potions the day before. True to his prediction, a red envelope was borne to Sirius on a black owl, who promptly took off again and managed to cuff Sirius on the head.

The boy didn't even notice, but was looking gloomily, with a hint of trepidation, at the smoking envelope. Other Gryffindors were stopping to look at it too, and Sirius sunk down low into his seat as he slid a grudging hand out to slit it open.

"HOW DARE YOU!" The letter shrieked, drawing the attention of the rest of the hall. "I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE ASHAMED IN MY LIFE! A GRYFFINDOR! WE THOUGHT WE RAISED YOU WITH PROPER IDEALS, NOT ONES THAT WOULD HAVE YOU MUCKING AROUND WITH MUDBLOODS AND BLOOD TRAITORS AND SCUM! DON'T YOU DARE SHOW YOUR FACE AT CHRISTMAS, YOU UNGRATEFUL, TRAITOROUS BRAT! I'M IN HALF A MIND TO DISOWN YOU AS IT IS! IF YOU WANT TO STAY A MEMBER OF THIS NOBLE AND ANCIENT FAMILY YOU WILL STAY TRUE TO THE WAY OF LIFE AND HONOR IT, NOT MESS AROUND WITH DIRT-BLOODED THEIVES AND THOSE WHO HAVE NO RIGHT CALLING THEMSELVES MAGICAL! YOU ARE THE SHAME OF MY HOUSE!" The letter burst into flames in front of the slumping Sirius and ash piled up on his plate over his now-cold bacon.

Lily was looking confused, having not understood most of what the Howler was about, or indeed, what it was. However, she was tactful enough to restrain herself to a puzzled glance at Emmeline, who in turn was distracted by James Potter. He had stood up and picked up his plate as well, and was walking over to where the trio was sitting. "May I sit here?" He asked politely, and yet with that firm hint that suggested 'no' wasn't an answer.

Sirius glanced up at him and gave a twitch of his shoulders. His face was pale as Arrow's feathers, Emmeline noticed. She leaned over and poked him in the chest, causing him to shoot a glare up at her. "Just because your mother's a dragon who hates Muggle-borns like Lily and blood-traitors like me doesn't mean we hate you. Remember what we talked about?"

He met her eyes as James set about to eating industriously. "Why?" He asked quietly. "That was nice for my mum. Why in the world do you still want to give me a chance?"

"Because we're not her, and neither are you." A deeper voice said. Emmeline tipped her head as far back as it would go to see Benjy standing behind her. He smiled abashedly down at her, then went on. "Emmie was right. You're not her. And we're Gryffindors, who're supposed to defend our own. You just need to be given a chance to not be an arse."

Emmeline looked back over at Sirius, who suddenly had turned very red with all the attention. They were all very aware that the rest of the Hall was watching and listening intently, although pretending not to. "Give us a chance to be nice to you, and we'll give you one too. We'll teach you to be a decent person. Gryffindors are gool."

The purebloods looked over at her. "Gool?" James asked.

"Yeah, Alice told me about it. It's a Muggle thing, they use it to stick those cars things together. The things that Muggles use to get around instead of brooms and the Floo and Appartion. So, like a car, Gryffindors stick together."

Lily coughed as though hiding a giggle. "Um… do you mean _glue_?"

Confused eyes turned to the one Muggle-born among them at the moment. "Does that stick cars together?" Emmeline ventured slowly.

"Um, no. You can stick together pape-parchment, though. Cars are held together by welding and nuts and bolts and things…" Lily trailed off at the completely lost purebloods. "It's really simple."

She went off trying to explain how a car works to the group of first-years as Benjy watched Sirius look around himself covertly. The boy seemed shocked and amazed at having people around him, and James's friends had come over as well, as had Alice and Mary. Benjy smiled halfway at him when the younger boy caught him looking, thinking silently about the goodness in people. He had the feeling that if Emmeline hadn't befriended Sirius first, or at least put forth the effort, he wouldn't have been so well received when he got his Howler.

Not for the first time, he considered himself lucky to be his little sister's friend.


	3. A Funeral and a Lesson

Second year for Emmeline had been treating her well. She was friendly with everyone except James Potter and to some extent Sirius Black. Sirius had taken to James's friendship very well, and now the four second-year Gryffindor boys were on their way to making a name for themselves as the greatest troublemakers in the history of the school. However, this accomplishment was met with resentment from their targets. James seemed to like pranking Lily the most, and Emmeline was often caught up in the fun too, because she slept in the same dorm as the red-head.

Benjy was in his seventh year and Emmeline was sad that this would be their last year of seeing each other every day for a while. For his own part, Benjy seemed sad about it too, and Emmeline always got a warm glow in her chest when she thought that even after almost ten years of friendship, she was still his best friend. Even the five years when he was at Hogwarts and she was at home, they still knew that they were the other's best friend.

October dawned drizzling with rain and Emmeline yawned as she woke up that morning, throwing a clean sock over to Alice's bed and waking her up. The dark blond girl groaned and pulled her pillow over her head. "Morning Alice," Emmeline said as she went into the bathroom for her shower. "Double Transfiguration today."

Emmeline turned on the tap and waited for the water to heat up, stripping out of her nightgown as she did. Once it did she stepped into the stream and let it wash over her, turning her face up to the flow and smiling. She looked out to the row of shampoo bottles along the sides of the shower, debating on which one to use that day. The Gryffindor girls had discovered that they all loved different smells, especially shampoo and conditioner, and consequently had many different kinds sent from home.

Emmeline, after pondering for a few minutes, selected one of Mary's shampoos. It smelled like cinnamon and a bit of vanilla when she sniffed it, and she applied a liberal amount to her hair. A banging on the door disrupted her reverie as she drank in the scents of cinnamon. "Emm! Other people need the shower too, you know!"

"All right, all right, don't get your knickers in a knot!" Emmeline sighed irritably as she washed the suds out of her hair and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around herself. She picked up her nightgown and walked out of the bathroom, throwing a haughty glare at Lily, who'd been banging on the door. Then she did a double take.

Lily's hair was bright green.

"Um, Lily?" Emmeline called as the door shut in her face. The mirror was very steamed up from Emmeline's shower, and she knew Lily wasn't the most alert in the morning anyway.

"What? Emm, what shampoo did you use, I don't want to smell like you today…" Emmeline heard water rushing through the tap as Lily turned it on.

"I used the cinnamon and vanilla, Lily. But I think Potter pulled a prank on you, Lily."

The sounds of splashing stilled as a scent of strawberry drifted out through the door. "What do you mean, Emm?"

Emmeline sighed and braced herself, crossing the room to her trunk as she shouted, "Your hair's green, Lily!"

"_What_?!" Then another, wordless shriek as she appeared to realize for herself that Emmeline was telling her the truth.

Emmeline rounded her bed to ensure Alice was awake. She shook her friend out of the last bits of slumber quickly. "Can you keep Lily occupied up here for a few more minutes, Alice?"

The blond yawned and nodded, stumbling out of bed. "What'd Potter do this time, Emm?"

"Turned her hair green. I'm going to go tell him to run—it's only fair, as he didn't do anything to us this time." She waved her wand at her hair, using a spell all young witches learned quickly to dry her hair and untangle it. Her hands deftly picked out a tight braid, taming the waves to her scalp as she got her book bag together. One she finished she wrapped a band around it and left, shutting the door firmly behind her.

She didn't see any second-year boys in the common room, so she headed down to the Great Hall, spotting the culprits almost immediately as they ate sleepily midways along the table. She slowed as she passed, muttering, "Thought you'd like to know that Lily is not pleased. I'd finish eating quickly."

They exchanged looks. "Thanks Emm," said Remus Lupin, seeming as calm as ever while Peter stifled a laugh and James and Sirius began to eat faster, glancing guiltily at the doors to the Hall. Emmeline snickered slightly and moved on, going to sit with Benjy and John, who greeted her with murmured hellos. Neither one was a morning person.

Emmeline leaned on Benjy as she nibbled on an orange, using him as a backrest. He never minded. He shifted as a pair of red-heads trotted over to them, both rumpled like they hadn't gotten much sleep or hadn't bothered to change their robes. "Aww," said one of them. Emmeline had never tried to learn the difference between the Prewett twins, so she glared at the one who'd spoken. "Isn't that sweet? Little kitten and her big protector tiger."

"Go away, Prewett," Benjy rumbled. He scowled at them, to which they grinned.

"Ahh, but which Prewett? Gibian or Fadeon?" They gestured at each other and Benjy's scowl deepened at the fourth-years.

"Hell if I care. Get lost."

"Ahh ah. The prefects are supposed to be nice and kind and helpful to all the other students."

"I'll be nice and kind enough not to put you in detention. Go away."

Twin grey eyes matched each other, then they shrugged and chorused, "Or not." They sat down together and reached for plates, moving identically.

John groaned and put his head on his arms. "It's too early for this, you two."

A shout of triumph and rage interrupted whatever the twins would have said next. "Stop right there, Potter!" A green-haired Lily had entered the Hall and was pointing like and avenging angel at the grinning Potter who was trying to pretend like he hadn't been about to make a run for it out the doors.

Emmeline blinked her eyes open to watch as her friend berated the grinning duo of dark-haired second-years. She wasn't paying much attention, having heard it all before. Peeling off a piece of her orange, she scowled at whichever Prewett twin took the slice out of her hands. "Give that back, you idiot."

He popped it in his mouth and smiled. "Want it now?" He managed around the mouthful, grinning like a monkey.

"Ugh," she turned away and rested her head on Benjy's shoulder. "You're so disgusting."

As the tirade from Lily was lessening, the Prewett twins stood up. "Well, much to do and so little time. See you cheerful bunnies around, now," one said and the other finished. They turned to walk away and then one turned back, the one who'd eaten her orange, looking slightly uneasy.

"Emmeline," he started quietly, then darted a glance at Benjy, who wasn't listening, "Y-you smell nice."

And, leaving a thoroughly confused Emmeline behind him, he caught up with his brother and they exited.

Emmeline shook her head. He was just having a laugh, as always. And she did smell nice—the cinnamon scent was lingering over her hair. Putting it down to confusing boys and idiot Prewett twins, she bid farewell to Benjy and guided a still-mad Lily to Transfiguration, where Professor McGonagall showed Lily the counter-charm to her hair problem.

She was pondering over the incident that night, and something must have showed in her face because Alice commented on it when they were sitting by the fire in the common room working on a Potions essay for Slughorn. "Hmm? Oh, nothing's bothering me, why do you ask?" Emmeline said distractedly.

Alice put down her quill. "Because that's your thinking face."

Emmeline looked up quizzically. "I have a thinking face?" She asked.

"Yeah, the one that you get when you're thinking hard about something… or someone. You got that look last year as well, at the beginning. About Sirius."

"Oh. I hadn't noticed." Emmeline turned back to her essay and furrowed her brow. "What can you use Mandrake for exactly?"

"Emm, don't change the subject." Alice reached over and took the quill out of her friend's hand amid muttered, unfeeling protests. "Who're you thinking about?"

"Who said I was thinking about anyone? I could be thinking about something else, like Mandrakes."

"But you're not. And don't bother denying it—if you'd wanted to do that you just missed the opportunity. If you were thinking about some_thing_, you wouldn't hide it. Now, who're you thinking about?"

"I don't know." It was even the truth, Emmeline thought smugly as Alice looked confused. She didn't know which of the Prewett twins had told her her hair smelled nice that morning. She couldn't tell them apart, as she'd never bothered to learn how. Apparently their mother could, and a few other relatives, but the majority of Hogwarts was unable to. And that was how the Prewett twins preferred it.

"How do you not know who you're thinking about?" Alice sounded skeptical and Emmeline didn't blame her.

"It's just—I don't, okay?" Emmeline huffed at her friend and plucked the quill back from Alice's hand. "Now can I finish my essay before the dawn?"

There were no more strange Prewett twin occurrences after that, for which Emmeline was both grateful and strangely disappointed about. A few weeks later snow began to fall, early for the year. The night of the fifteenth she was sitting in the common room Professor McGonagall came in and called Benjy out. Trading a surprised look with John and a confused one with Emmeline, he left at her heels.

Emmeline turned back to her book, where she was reading about a man who'd successfully become an Animagus. The book had a picture of him going between shapes, and Emmeline was fascinated by it. She was staring intently at it when the portrait hole opened again and Benjy entered, ashen-faced.

Emmeline set her book aside, frowning. She'd never seen Benjy so pale. His eyes were brighter than she'd ever seen them as well, and glittering with tears. Her own brown eyes widened. Benjy never cried. He appeared to be remaining calm just barely, and he came over to where she was sitting, ignoring his friend's calls of questioning. "Emmie…" he breathed, kneeling down beside her chair. "Emmie, come with me."

"What? Benjy, are you _crying_?" Emmeline stood up nevertheless, question unanswered, and followed him out the portrait hole. He led her to a small place inside a tapestry that she hadn't ever seen before, then took a shaky breath. "Emmie…"

"What? Benjy, spit it out!" She demanded, knowing instinctively that the news was bad and wanting him to just get it over with.

"Emmie, your parents…" He bit his lip, apparently unable to say what he meant to.

"What about them?" Emmeline later realized that she was being dull on purpose, not wanting to accept the fact.

"There was an attack. Your… your parents were in Tinworth at the time, in the main square, and… people, hooded and masked, attacked them. They call themselves Death Eaters, and they serve that man who's been rising in power over the past few years, the one calling himself Lord… well, you know who."

"My parents were attacked?" Emmeline felt a little shaky herself, and let her back lean fully against the wall.

"Not just… Emmie, I'm so sorry." Benjy looked utterly helpless as he swallowed hard and ran a hand over his face, the universal sign that a person was trying hard not to let tears fall. "Your parents are dead."

She was numb. Suddenly Emmeline couldn't feel her fingers and her breath was sporadic. "W-wha?" She managed through frozen lips.

"Emmie, I'm so, so sorry…" Benjy reached forward and took her hand. His was cold as well. She started to shake her head and mutter no, but Benjy blinked rapidly and kept saying yes, he was sorry, but Dumbledore said to break it gently, and he'd tried, but how do you break something like that gently? He pulled her into a hug and she sobbed into his shoulder, her back shaking with the force of her weeping, and Benjy let his own tears go as well, crying into her hair that smelled again of cinnamon and vanilla.

Finally, when Emmeline felt like she had no more tears left in her she drew back, still sniffling. Benjy hastily wiped off his face and took a few deep breaths. She couldn't see him crying—he was supposed to be the impervious big brother. He had to be there for her, couldn't sink into his own grief for people he called family as well. She needed him to be strong, so he had to be.

"Emmie?"

"When's the funeral?"

Benjy quickly swallowed again. "This Thursday. Dumbledore said we could… they'll let us both off school. If you want me there."

"Benjy," she murmured, looking askance at him. "Of course I want… I _need_ you there, Benjy. I-I can't go through this alone. You're family. Al-all I have left."

His lips twitched in what might have been a tiny smile under other circumstances. "Okay. I can Apparate us home tonight. Dumbledore said it would be fine, we just have to tell him as we leave."

Emmeline nodded and rose to her feet slowly, not letting go of Benjy's hand. She licked her lips as he pushed back the tapestry and held it open for her. They made their way to McGonagall's office and Benjy knocked.

Professor McGonagall looked sadder than Emmeline had thought she could get, and she belatedly remembered that her mother had graduated with the young professor. Benjy explained what they had decided to do and the black-haired witch nodded sharply, though Emmeline recognized the curtness as a cover for trying to hold herself together.

Benjy and Emmeline were met in the Entrance Hall by none other than the Headmaster himself. He walked them down the hill to where the Apparation barrier ceased and gave his condolences, more heartfelt than either of them would have expected. Emmeline was quiet as Benjy took her arm gently and twisted on the spot, rushing into even darker darkness than the street had been shrouded in.

They appeared at the Apparation point in Tinworth, where Emmeline and Benjy stood shocked at the devastation in the center of the town. Despite the late hour, witches and wizards, Ministry and common, moved with a subdued efficiency, cleaning up and repairing the damage to the main square. Emmeline stifled a sob and drew closer to Benjy, who in turn put his arm around her. ""It'll be okay, Emmie…" he muttered, but the words seemed empty against the backdrop.

He led her to where the Ministry had set up a small office in a tent. "Excuse me, sir," Benjy inquired of a harried-looking wizard behind the makeshift table.

The man looked up, distracted. "What? If you've a claim to register for lost property, please see…"

"We don't have any property damage," Benjy cut across coolly. "We're here to ask about the Vance family." His voice broke only slightly as he spoke.

"Who wants to know?" The wizard demanded.

"Emmeline Vance," Emmeline spoke up, just as cold as Benjy had been. He recognized the tone as the one she had used on him the past year, and he was glad it was directed at someone else.

"Oh," the wizard said, somewhat less aggressively. "Hopkirk!" He shouted. A young wizard whose appearance practically screamed 'secretary' ran over clutching a register and a quill. "These two need to know about the Vances."

Hopkirk nodded and beckoned, drawing Benjy and Emmeline over to another part of the street. He sorted through his papers until he found the correct on, the recited in a bland tone, "I'm very sorry to inform you that the Vances are both dead." Emmeline muffled a moan against Benjy's robes, and he ran his hand through her hair, trying to comfort her. "They died as a result of defending the child of the Morrow family, who was caught out in the street at the time. Christopher Vance was a great help to the defenses of Tinworth, according to the reports from witnesses. And without Catherine Vance the Morrow boy would have died, as would have several others. The Healers on-site now are wondering why she never worked for them. The Ministry sends its condolences to you and your family, Miss Vance." Hopkirk nodded to them and walked away.

Emmeline stood, not really knowing what to say. She looked up at Benjy hesitantly. "We should go see the Morrows."

Benjy nodded and they walked to where the Morrows' house was. The door was blasted off, and he knocked on the remains of the splintered wood. A tired-looking woman came to the door, a blood smear streaked across her face. Her visage softened and looked down at Emmeline, then knelt down to face the girl on her own level. "Emmeline… I'm so sorry about your parents."

Emmeline swallowed and Benjy squeezed her hand. "Mrs. Morrow. Is your son all right?"

"Thanks to you mother and father, yes. Oh, my dear… your parents were the bravest people I've ever known. They saved Terren's life. If there is ever anything you need, anything at all, my family and I are here for you."

"Could you tell me how it happened?" Emmeline was tentative when she spoke, but Mrs. Morrow bit her lip and nodded.

"We were running—Terren had been at his friend's house across the way, and I'd gone to get him when they came. Hooded and masked. It was awful, they didn't hardly look human. Your parents had been in the Selkie's Hideaway for dinner and were headed home when I saw them. They… immediately, your father set wards all around the people they could see, and your dear mother saw instantly that some people were hurt, and hurried to them through the cross fire of all the hexes. I couldn't believe how much of a difference she made.

"Terren had been hurt very badly, and my shoulder was wrenched around as I carried him to your mother. She healed him as your father dove in front of her, taking an… an _Avada Kedavra_. Your mother cried out, then another struck her as she finished healing my Terren. I've no doubt he would have died without her—there was blood everywhere and he was unconscious—and she used her last spell to fix him, not defend herself." Mrs. Morrow stopped and blew her nose.

Emmeline barely nodded as Benjy pulled her into his shoulder for what felt like the hundredth time as she started crying again. He wiped a few tears away as well, determined not to let her see them. Mrs. Morrow placed her hand on his arm and murmured something, he hardly caught what it was.

It was nearly one in the morning by that time, but there was enough light from lanterns carried and lit by the Ministry wizards that it was bright enough to only be twilight. Benjy led Emmeline away from the Morrow's house and up the lane to the dark Sea Tower on the cliffs. Benjy could never remember seeing it dark. Even if they'd been out flying late, Mrs. Vance had always left a candle burning for them to find their way home by.

They walked up the dirt lane to the front door, and Emmeline reached out a pale hand to open it. It creaked slowly inwards at her touch, and Benjy quickly pointed his wand to the lamps and candles, sending fire and letting light illuminate the interior of the Tower. Benjy stepped into the main room and shut the door behind him, closing it with a solid thunk. He locked it, the audible click snicking into place.

Emmeline had stepped away from the door and perched on the edge of a couch arm, looking around dully. Benjy stepped up behind her and rested his hand on her shoulder. "Do you want anything?" He asked.

She laughed, slightly desperately. "I want this not to have happened. This isn't my home, not without…" she broke off into a sniff. "And I hate crying."

"Emmie, I know. But crying—and emotions—they're what make us human."

"Then I don't want to be human! I don't want to feel this! I don't want to cry! I want my parents!"

"Oh Emmie," Benjy murmured into her hair, hugging her close again as she fought and struggled against his comfort, rage turning weak as she cried. "Being human… it's what makes life wonderful. And sad, of course it's sad sometimes. But we have to pick ourselves up and go on. Giving in is easy; anyone can do it. Not letting sadness win is the hard thing."

She spoke through her tears, muffled against Benjy's cloak. "But it _is_ winning, Benjy."

He gently turned her face up to meet his eyes, the pain in her own almost destroying him. She was his little Emmie, she was sad and there was nothing he could do about it. "You can't let it, Emmie. I know it's hard—it's the worst thing in the world. It feels like there's no hope, and you'll never be happy again. But you have to keep going."

"How do you know what it feels like?" She asked petulantly. "And _why_ do I have to keep going?"

Benjy turned away and sighed deeply. "I miss them too, Emmie. They were better parents than mine to me, and you're my sister. That's why you have to keep going. I can't lose you too." He turned his gaze back to her. "Don't make me lose you too."

They spent that night on the couches in the Tower's main room, neither one wanting to be alone with their thoughts. Emmeline slept fitfully, tossing and turning in her sleep. From what she could hear, Benjy was sleeping poorly as well.

The next morning dawned dreary and cold, echoing Emmeline's mood perfectly. Mrs. Morrow came by with a cooked chicken for their lunch, which they thanked her for and then picked at after she left. Neither wanted to think about Thursday, but Benjy Floo'd the Ministry to make the arrangements so Emmeline wouldn't have to. They didn't speak much that day, and slept again on the couches.

The funeral guests were due to arrive that Thursday at two in the afternoon, but Benjy and Emmeline had a surprise guest at eleven that morning. Professor Dumbledore knocked on the door to the Tower and Emmeline invited him in while Benjy fixed him a cup of tea.

"My condolences, Miss Vance. And you as well, Mr. Fenwick—I understand you are very close to the Vance family. In fact," the professor said, setting down his tea cup and lacing his fingers together, "it is that which I am here to speak with you today about."

Benjy and Emmeline traded glances. The professor went on. "Emmeline, you are not of age, and so it is not legal for you to live alone."

"But I wouldn't be alone," Emmeline blurted out, "Benjy would be here."

Benjy nodded immediately, though since he was older he had an idea what Dumbledore was getting at. "You mean Emmie has to go to a wizarding orphanage?" She looked over in fear at him and he shook his head reassuringly. She would never go to an orphanage, not if he had anything at all to say about it.

"I see you are opposed to the idea," Dumbledore said, and Benjy met his gaze. He'd heard the Dumbledore was shrewd and brilliant—did he had a way out of the hell that the orphanage would be? "Benjamin, you are of age. I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to care and provide for Emmeline, as long as she shall need it. I also venture that this will not be a hard task, due to the considerable amount of gold that Emmeline Vance and yourself are heirs to. The will states that everything was left to you both."

"It's not a problem at all, sir." Emmeline spoke up quietly. "Benjy almost lives here anyway."

"That's settled then. I will see you both later for the funeral." Dumbledore took his leave as Benjy saw him out the door.

"You'll live here, right?" Emmeline said as he turned back.

"Where else would I go? This is home… if you don't mind, of course."

"This _is_ your home, Benjy. For the rest of your life. Or at least until you marry and want your own house."

They traded bare hints of smiles, then got ready for the funeral. Emmeline put on a black dress Mrs. Morrow had sent over for her and a silver chain that her father had brought back for her birthday from France, with a simple flower carved out of a translucent red stone resting at the base of her throat. She pulled back her hair into a loose braid, tearing up again as she recalled her mother teaching her how to braid her hair after Benjy had left for school his first year.

Benjy and Emmeline walked to the Tinworth cemetery at one, meeting the few mourners already there. They took their places in the head of the chairs seated on the grassy lawn under the same grey sky that had prevailed for the past few days.

The funeral was presided over by a tufty-haired wizard who spoke of the goodness of the Vances, about their lives and those who had been affected by them. Then it was Emmeline's turn to say something, and she stood shakily as Benjy nodded encouragingly. She walked slowly to the podium and stood there, looking out at the guests. She saw many people se recognized, and then some she didn't, those who worked with her father or her mother's friends from school.

Emmeline took a deep breath and spoke, feeling her voice magically amplified out over the assembly. "My parents… they were good people." She felt like this was a poor start. "They were kind to everyone and anyone who needed help, and even if they didn't Mummy would still welcome anyone in for tea. I-I'll miss them, more than they know. More than I know." She broke off with a sob and Benjy walked up to her, resting his hand on her shoulder.

He knew he hadn't been scheduled to speak but he did so anyway. "The Vances gave me a home I never had at my own, and in my head I used to dream they were my real parents. I'll miss them as much as I would if they were my own blood and flesh parents. Almost more than, because they didn't have to do anything for me but they did anyway." Benjy cleared his throat, then went on. "And they died caring for others, as we should all try and do in these times. Mr. and Mrs. Vance died for their beliefs, fighting against terror and tyranny that is growing stronger in our world now. Don't let that be forgotten. If we, the magical population, let this… this _hell_ of what happened in Tinworth spread to the rest of the country, and it will, then we will all be in more danger than we can know now. So resist against the dark, and do as the Vances did until the end—follow the light, help others and care for them, and fight for what you believe is right."

Benjy swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. He didn't know where those words had come from—he was a school-age wizard, even though he was seventeen. He'd never had deep world-wide thoughts like that before, at least that he'd voiced. And who was he to be lecturing a group of people older and certainly wiser than himself? Then, glancing down at Emmeline's dark hair, he knew that he'd had to grow up overnight to help her and be strong for her. With that in mind he looked out over the audience, some of who nodded back at him in praise. Dumbledore was there, that silver beard unmistakable. He bowed his head slightly to Benjy and seemed to be thinking about something.

The tufty-haired wizard stepped forward again, motioning to Emmeline. She met him halfway, gulping hard as he presented her parents wands on a sheet of black velvet. Knowing what she had to do, she took the wands and stepped up between her parents' coffins, raising her hands high as she held the wands between them.

The wands snapped with echoing cracks as Emmeline broke them, and a slight wind that bore hints of magic seemed to wash over the gathering. She separated the pieces and laid them in the indentations on the coffins for the wand halves, a layer of crystal spreading over the pieces to enclose them in a cover for protection. Emmeline walked out from amid the coffins and turned as Harold Potter, Alphred Black (who had allegedly been a dear friend of her mother's at school), Louis Gencour (a Frenchman her father befriended), and Ernest McKinnon strode forward and lifted the coffins gently.

Benjy was surprised as Emmeline began to sing. Her voice was shaky with grief but pure nonetheless as she sang a song he'd never heard before. He'd heard Mrs. Vance humming the tune, if he remembered correctly, but he'd never heard Emmeline sing at all. "Blackbird, singing the blues all day, right outside of my door…"

Benjy looked over to see Emmeline's Aunt Caroline's shoulders shaking as she watched with tears streaming down her face as her niece sang. "All through the winter you hung around, now I'm beginning to feel homeward bound…" Caroline seemed unable to look at her niece.

"Pack up all my care and woe, here I go, singing low, bye bye blackbird.

Where somebody waits for me, sugar's sweet, so is she, bye bye blackbird."

The coffins were moving into their places over the already-dug graves as Emmeline kept singing, and Benjy was tearing up, the sting at his eyes again. "No one here can love and understand me, oh what hard-luck stories they all hand me…"

She sang and sang, and Benjy didn't know how she kept going. _Make my bed and light the light, I'll arrive late tonight_...The coffins were lowered into the graves as Benjy paced forward and raised his wand to bring the dirt to cover the wooden boxes that contained the people who took him in as their own son. She sang the next verse as he did so and as he felt hot tears roll down his face._ Bluebird, bluebird, calling me far away, I've been longing for you…_ As the gravestones, pure white marble, _I'm like a flower that's fading here_, touched the earth when he settled them into the heads of the graves, moving them from where they had been laying they shifted fluidly in shape, _with every hour is one long tear,_ changing into a white statue of the Vances over the two graves. Christopher Vance had his arm around his wife, who was looking affectionately down at the crowd, with a warmth that betrayed the cold marble.

Emmeline drew a trembling breath and finished off the song with another chorus and final 'blackbird, bye bye.' She was staring at the statue with so much hope and pain in her face that Benjy knew she was hurting physically, that aching pain in her chest that felt like a hundred dull thorns were lodged in under her breastbone, right over her heart. The hollowness that she was feeling, as he was. Eventually she turned around and walked back down to the head of the rows of chairs, and mourners took that as their cue to come up and offer condolences.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter were some of the first to see Emmeline and Benjy. Mrs. Potter leaned down and kissed Emmeline on the cheek, then stood on tiptoe to do the same to Benjy. "I am so sorry for your loss. If there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to come to us." Mr. Potter kissed Emmeline on the forehead and shook Benjy's hand, nodding to what his wife was saying, then added, "Or James. Emmeline, I know he's a troublemaker but he does care about you. We all do. If you ever need anything at Hogwarts and can't find anyone else to go to, go to James. He's a good boy."

Emmeline swallowed and nodded, then took a deep breath and turned to the next in line, the McKinnons. "Oh m'dear Emmeline," Mrs. McKinnon murmured. "Your mother was one of my best friends. I'll miss her so." She hugged the young girl tightly, then let her go and blew her nose into a white linen handkerchief. She gave Benjy a kiss on the cheek.

The line went on too long for Emmeline, and she found soon that while she did care about the sentiments of people close to her parents, all she wanted was to go home and sleep, sleep until she could sleep no more. Darting a sidelong glance at Benjy, she saw that he looked like she felt: dead, exhausted, tired emotionally and physically.

Finally, _finally_ the line ended. Emmeline and Benjy went home immediately after that and fell asleep on their couches. Dumbledore had told Benjy that they needed to be back by Monday for classes, but until then he expected them to take care of themselves. The Tower was dark and silent.

The weekend passed too quickly for Benjy, who was worried about what Emmeline would do without him once they went back to Hogwarts, and too slowly for Emmeline, who felt oppressed in the house of her parents without them there to warm it. Even the crup wasn't barking—apparently Terror had been with her parents when they died, as they'd taken her out to dinner with them. They were quiet for most of the weekend, only speaking when necessary. Emmeline spent a lot of her time out on the cliffs, where Benjy worried for her, watching out the window as she sat with her knees drawn up to her chest, brown eyes cast out over the grey waves crashing on the rocks a hundred feet below her. Sometimes she would walk down the narrow track and remove her shoes, splashing her feet in the cold water.

Early Monday morning they rose and Emmeline fixed breakfast before they left, toast and bacon heating gently on the stove as Benjy cleaned up the room and packed away the blankets into closets. They ate in silence and stepped outside as Benjy sealed the hereditary locks with his wand, having been officially proclaimed as Emmeline's guardian which meant that he was in charge of the house in her name as well. They walked to the end of the lane and Benjy turned on the spot, snapping into the dark with Emmeline on his arm.

They appeared in blustery Hogsmeade, Benjy turning around to pull up Emmeline's cloak and button it firmly against the wind. She gave him a halfhearted glare which troubled him more than a snappish remark ("I'm twelve, not two, Benjy!"), an eye roll, or even a full glare would have done. As it was, she seemed listless, and he was bothered by it, and chafing because he knew that there was nothing he could do to help her through it.

The school loomed above them as they walked up the road to it, dark against a stormy and cold sky. It was late October, too early for snow, but it felt cold enough to. They were met at the gates by Professor McGonagall, who Emmeline vaguely recalled seeing at the funeral. The professor looked pale as she let them in and then locked the gates with a tap of her wand. She accompanied them up to the Entrance Hall, then left. Emmeline thought she saw the young, black-haired witch wipe her face quickly as she left.

Benjy walked Emmeline to her current class, Charms, then crouched down outside the classroom before she went in. "You going to be okay, Emmie?"

She bit her lip but nodded. "Are you?"

"Don't worry about me, little sister. I'm more concerned about you."

"Benjy," she said calmly, causing him to look strangely at her, because she sounded almost patronizing. "You can't worry about me this much. I have my friends and yeah, of course I'm sad, but I'll be okay. You don't need to be anxious over me."

He sighed ruefully but shook his head. "I'm always going to fret over you. Go on then. I'll see you later for dinner, all right?"

She nodded as she placed a hand on the door, and smiled a bit back at him. "See you later, Benjy."

Emmeline turned away from her friend and pushed open the Charms door, drawing the attention of the class. Muttering an apology to Professor Flitwick she took a seat beside Alice, who immediately leaned over and gave her a hug, then slid a note across the desk a few minutes later.

_I was nervous when you didn't come back into the common room, but then I read in the paper the next day about what happened. I'm so sorry. But the next time you leave and don't expect to come back for a few days, would you let me know? I was up all night waiting for you, and I fell asleep in Transfiguration the next day, although Professor McGonagall didn't seem to mind as much as normal._

Emmeline winced almost imperceptibly for forgetting to inform her best friend that she didn't have to worry, then scribbled back, _I'm really sorry about that, Alice. But I…_ Emmeline stopped writing, trying to put it into words. Alice, however, was reading over her forearm and leaned her head down into Emmeline's shoulder. "It's okay," she whispered. "I was just worried."

Emmeline spent the rest of the Charms class doodling on the note, pondering over how many people besides her parents cared for her enough to worry. With that thought she pulled out another sheet of parchment and began writing a list of the names of people she knew cared about her. Benjy. Alice. Lily. Hestia. Mary. Sirius. Remus, who had always been nice and was shooting her concerned looks every now and then. James, who'd rested his hand on her shoulder as he passed after demonstrating a charm for the class. Whichever of the Prewett twins had complimented her. Benjy's friend John. The older Potters. The older McKinnons. The older Bones. The Morrows. Dumbledore. Professor McGonagall.

The bell rang as Emmeline tucked her list away, feeling a bit better. Sirius came up and slung an arm around her shoulders at lunch, eating with his left hand. Hestia defied the normal custom (though it had been broken many times before) of eating with her house and sat at Gryffindor table. Lily and James were both being too nice to her to consider shouting at each other. Professor McGonagall didn't give the class any homework, and Alice spent the entire History of Magic period playing hangman with her, a Muggle game that Lily had showed them.

She sat with Benjy by the fire that night, leaning her head back on his chest as their friends lounged around them, the seventh years for once not minding that a bunch of annoying second years were in their space. Sirius and James kept throwing pieces of popcorn at Peter, who would attempt to catch them in his mouth. Remus was laying on his stomach reading as Lily leaned over his shoulder. Alice lay back with her head on Emmeline's ankles, her eyes closed.

Emmeline tilted her head backwards, catching Benjy's bright green eyes with her own. "I'll be okay. Not just yet, but soon I will be. Take care of yourself, Benjy. I need you too," she breathed gently, so that no one could hear her.

He tightened his arm around her briefly. "If you're okay, I'm okay, little sister."

* * *

You know, reviews really are love. I'll keep updating even if I don't get anything, because the whole point of this account is for me to put up stories for myself instead of trying to write something about the popular characters who I just can't get in touch with as well. But I would like at least one... maybe a few more, if that's possible. Please? The little green button wants clicking, go on...


	4. A Kiss and a Hex

"I hate him," Lily Evans said decisively as she thumped the third-year girls' dormitory door shut behind her. Alice and Emmeline looked up from where they were laying on their beds, Alice reading and Emmeline twirling her wand around her finger.

"What'd Potter do this time?" Alice asked with a laugh.

"He—him! Argh!" Lily let out a small scream and threw herself down onto her bed, slamming her pillow over her head.

"What'd James do, Lily?" Emmeline persisted.

"Hskkedmout." Lily muffled a shriek again into her pillow, also speaking to the bag of feathers.

"He what?" Alice and Emmeline chorused. They traded glances, having suspicions.

Lily raised her head, green eyes snapping. "He asked me out!"

The other two girls were very careful to avoid looking at each other. "He asked you out?" Emmeline said in a controlled voice. "That's unexpected. You said no, I take it."

"Unex—of course I said no!" Lily burst out. "Only an idiot would say yes to that—to that—"

"…adorably cute…" Alice muttered over Lily's sputters.

"That—what? He is not cute! He is not at all! He is rude, and mean, and immature, and—"

"Very attractive," Emmeline muttered to Alice.

"No! How can you even think—" Lily got up and stalked over to the window, sitting down moodily in the seat. "He has stupid hair, and he does that stupid ruffling thing with it, just because he's halfway decent on a broomstick he feels the need to show off even more, and he wears dorky glasses and his shirt hangs out of his pants in both the front _and_ back all the time!"

"You've been staring at his arse?" Emmeline asked mischievously, then added, "It is a nice one, isn't it Alice?"

"Oh yes, very," Alice responded over Lily's screech of fury.

"You two! I come up here for sympathy and you give me snide little comments about Potter's arse!" Lily threw a look of perfectly leonine disdain at the two and stomped out of the dormitory, presumably to the library. Alice and Emmeline exchanged looks and burst out laughing.

"Honestly," Alice said after they'd wiped away tears of mirth. "If she hasn't seen this coming she's blinder than James without his glasses."

"I know," Emmeline choked out, then managed to contain her laughter better. "Ten sickles that she hexes him the next time he asks her."

"I'll actually take that," Alice said. "If she blew up at him like she was just now, she may have scared him off. Come on—let's go heckle him mercilessly."

Emmeline stood up and practically skipped to the door, opening it with a lavish curtsy. "After you, m'dear." Alice fluttered her lashes outrageously and pranced out, managing to trip down the stairs. Emmeline shouted out a laugh and hurried after her friend, spiraling down in tight circles after Alice.

When she reached the bottom she found an interesting sight—Alice had apparently been caught by Frank Longbottom, in the Prewett twins' year. She was blushing like a tomato while he had a slightly bashful grin on his face. Emmeline stopped quickly, a smile creeping over her face. Alice was stuttering something out, Emmeline didn't know what, and Frank's cheeks were slightly pink as well.

Emmeline was fully aware that Alice was in the process of growing up. All of the third-year girls were—Mary MacDonald had already boasted proudly that she had both kissed a boy and let him feel her breasts. Emmeline and Alice had been taken shopping for bras by Marlene, Alice's older sister, that summer. Benjy had been banned from that trip, and he'd sulked around the Sea Tower until Emmeline had informed him what they were going out for. Madam Malkin had fitted her robes somewhat differently that summer as well and Benjy had glared at the poor woman, muttering about 'indecencies.' Emmeline snickered at that thought—Benjy was more protective than a mother bear over her. It suited the nickname people had given him—Emmeline's Tiger.

Alice interrupted her thoughts with a vice-like hand on her arm and dragged Emmeline out of the common room. "Ow, Alice, what?"

"In here!" Alice said in a whisper-like shout, pulling Emmeline into a bathroom. "Oh Merlin!"

"Alice, breathe!" Emmeline snapped her fingers in front of her friend's face.

"Did you see? Did you see? He—we—oh Merlin!"

Emmeline was thoroughly confused. "Alice, he caught you at the bottom of the stairs. Okay, he blushed a little—"

"He _blushed_?" Alice cut in, suddenly even more panicky than before. "He didn't like it? He didn't like me? Oh, of course he wouldn't, he's such a handsome fifth year and I'm just a puny, skinny, messy-haired little knobby-kneed third year…"

Emmeline was alarmed at how quickly her friend went from exhilaration to depression. "Alice! I think blushing is a good sign. And he didn't let go of you and walk off instantly, did he?"

Alice raised her head off from her hands and blue eyes met brown. "You think?" Alice breathed.

"Um, yes?" Emmeline let out an undignified squeak as Alice leaped up and grabbed her around the neck for a hug. "Ow—Alice, I can't breathe!"

"Sorry." Alice stepped back. "Oh, _wow_…"

"Calm down, Alice. It's not like you kissed."

"I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. I wish we had."

"Uh huh," Emmeline muttered. "Alice, you can keep daydreaming but we've got Care of Magical Creatures next." She gently steered the dazed girl out of the bathroom and down out of the castle to their evening class. It had been scheduled specially because of the creatures they were studying, Auguries. Professor Kettleburn had told them that the Augurey preferred the dusk to noonday sun, and that they'd have a rainstorm that night anyway, though the class strongly suspected he'd rescheduled the class because of his not-so-subtle hangover.

Once out on the lawn Alice appeared to regain some of her wits and shook her head like a dog trying to get water from its ears. "My Auntie Susan has an Augurey. She gets annoyed with it during the winter because it never shuts up." Drops of rain began to patter down on the girls, but before they could get too wet someone muttered a spell behind them, creating a sort of umbrella that was transparent and floated of its own accord above them.

"Hello, lovely ladies," Gideon and Fabian Prewett strolled up behind the girls, each offering an arm. Alice and Emmeline looked at each other and simultaneously accepted, thinking that a fit of gallantry was not to be frowned upon when it was raining. "Kettleburn showing you the Auguries as well on this drizzly evening?"

"He told us to meet down here instead of the morning class… mind you, this should be interesting."

"Where the man got the bright idea of double teaching two classes full of Gryffindors and Slytherins, I've no idea."

"But don't you two be fearin'… we'll watch out for the prettiest Gryffindors around." They spoke trading back and forth, and Emmeline and Alice couldn't restrain their laughs by the end.

Emmeline coughed herself into somberness. "We'll never fear with you two around. Or get soaking wet in the rain, either."

Her escort, who'd kindly worn a shirt with an 'F' on it that day (though she recognized could easily mean nothing—it could really be Gideon playing a trick on her), nodded up at the umbrella. "Nice spell, isn't it?"

"Very excellent. Charms aren't my forte… what is it?"

"It's a secret." Fabian smirked at her pouting scowl. "So if you ever need to go somewhere in the rain, you'll have to take me with you."

"Then," Some dim, underused part of Emmeline's brain raged at her to recognize this as flirting, so she played along, "if this keeps up you'll need to escort me back, gallant sir."

He stopped and bowed over her hand, kissing it lightly. "It would be my honor, fair maiden." She restrained a nervous giggle and hoped the heat in her face was only in her imagination as they approached the small, bedraggled gathering of students, Gryffindors and Slytherins clearly separated. The twins bid the girls farewell for the time being and greeted their friends. Alice and Emmeline went to stand with the other third years while the umbrella followed them.

James and Sirius were glaring at the Slytherins while Remus tried to talk sense, enlisting Peter to lend a restraining hand on James's shoulder. He eventually gave up as they ignored him, muttering to each other under their breath about planning nasty things, and came over to talk with the girls. Shaking his wet hair out of his eyes like a dog as he entered the rain-free area still chivalrously provided by the Prewett twins he shot a rueful grin at them. "It's like talking to a wall," he said with a hesitant laugh, as though not sure he'd be accepted there.

Alice snickered. "I'll bet. You should have heard Lily go off this morning about James asking her out."

Remus blinked. "James did what?"

"He didn't tell you?" Emmeline asked.

"Um, no." Remus turned around halfway to regard his friend with a slight frown. "Well, I won't rub it in his face that he was rejected. And I won't even tell Sirius."

"Probably a good idea," Emmeline said. "I think Lily chewed him up and spat him back out—he doesn't need teasing from Sirius as well."

The three turned as the professor limped up, half his right leg gone and leaning on a cane as he held his wand in front of him, levitating a cage. Without further ado, he whipped off the sheet covering the cage and set a magical barrier around their area, lines glowing in the air. He opened the cage door with another flick of his wand and the birds flew out—somewhat ugly and looking like a vulture, but with greenish black plumage. They beat their wings heavily through the air but couldn't pass the barrier, though rain continued to fall through it. "Auguries," grumbled Kettleburn. "Listen to 'em, just give 'em a minute."

Sure enough, the birds began to let out their throbbing cries, low and penetrating through the rain. They swooped through the air, not seeming entirely comfortable with having two classes looking up at them. "They cry with the approach of rain—damned useful to have around to predict the weather. They're also called the Irish Phoenix. They nest in brambles and thorn—why aren't you lot writin' this down?"

There was a sudden scramble for quills, and Emmeline was grateful for the magical umbrella as her parchment didn't get damp in the rain. She quickly scrawled down the information as he carried on, telling them the characteristics of the Augurey while the birds flew around them.

Soon enough the class was over and Professor Kettleburn retrieved the birds. The magical umbrella glowed brightly as Fabian and Gideon stepped back over to Alice and Emmeline smoothly, taking their arms in a symmetrical gesture once again. Alice and Gideon walked quickly, but Emmeline set a slower pace for her and Fabian. "I like the rain," she explained.

"Shall I get rid of the shield?" Fabian asked, twirling his wand around his fingers.

She smiled up at him, somewhat shyly. "If you don't mind. Not like we have to keep dry for class now."

A flick of the light-wooded wand and the barrier was gone. Rain fell down softly, dampening her hair. Fabian's own hair got slicked down quickly, plastered against his forehead. They walked down by the lake as darkness fell gently around them, light from the castle falling in golden pools on the dark grass and rain-rippled waters of the lake.

Emmeline caught Fabian looking at her and ducked her head, looking away. "What?"

"You looked very lovely just then, Emmeline."

"Call me Emm." She had nothing to say to the lovely comment.

"Well, don't speak then. But you did. I know a beautiful girl when I see one, and you, Emm, are a very beautiful girl."

Again she didn't speak, and she thought she heard him laugh gently. "Not used to compliments, are you?" She shook her head. "You will be. Give it a few years, and the boys will be falling at your feet. I'm just ahead of the game."

"Fabian, really—"

He stopped and put a finger to her lips, shushing her. "Don't call me a liar until you've been proven so very wrong, Emm." He traced the line of her lower lip very lightly, then removed his finger and looked down at her, giving her his trademark grin that was somewhere between a smile and a smirk. "As it is…" He dipped his head a few inches and pressed his lips to hers, mouth warm against the cool rain.

Muffling a squeak of surprise (and annoyed that she almost squeaked for the second time that day—squeaking was extremely undignified), she suddenly realized that Fabian Prewett, who could cause most girls to sigh by just giving them a wink, was kissing her. And… she liked it. So, she did what any sane girl would do. She kissed him back.

He broke off the kiss first, but he only moved back slightly. Their breath mingled and steamed in the air. "Now," his voice was rougher than she'd expected. "I'd best be getting you back to your tower. Don't want anyone to worry."

"Or get the wrong idea," she muttered, surprising herself with her own voice. It too was deeper, but more melodic. Like her mother's had been. Thinking of her mother caused sudden, unexpected tears to boil into her eyes and she turned her head away quickly, but not quickly enough.

"Emm, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me, lass." His fingers were gentle as he cupped her chin to turn her face to his. "What's got you cryin'?" His accent, born of some place north, was more prominent than it had been before.

"My Mum. She… you know she was killed last year."

"Aye, lass."

"Well, I was just thinking about her voice, and how—how much she'd like to know that I'd finally gotten my first kiss, but I can't tell her. I'll just have to tell Benjy instead."

Fabian looked slightly alarmed. "Steady on there, m'dear! I've no wish of being brutally murdered yet!" That caused a watery chuckle.

"I've got to tell him, though. He'll find out anyway, and believe me, he doesn't like it when things are hidden from him. It'd be better if I just told him. And he won't kill you."

"No, just send a cursed envelope t'tear me eyeballs out."

"I don't think your eyeballs are what he's going to have a problem with, Fabian. Try the balls a bit lower down." Emmeline slapped a hand over her mouth as Fabian roared with laughter, the sound echoing out over the dark lake.

"I didn't ever think t'hear ye say somethin' like that, Emm."

"Me neither." She said fervently.

"Ach," he sighed, kissing her gently again before adding, "we'd best be getting' ye back to yer dormitory, just in case yer guardian tiger put any wards around yer bed to let him know ye'd been out after curfew."

"Knowing him, I wouldn't be surprised," Emmeline muttered as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and accompanied her back to Gryffindor Tower. The common room was empty as he gave her one last chaste kiss.

She paused at the top of the staircase to the girls' dorms, smiling down at him as he whispered, "Sleep well, fair Emmie-mine Vance."

She bit her lip to hold back a laugh and blew him a kiss, then walked up to the top of the spiral staircase, opening her door quietly.

"Talk." Three girls directed their wands, shining with the _lumos_ charm, in her face. She blinked at the sudden brightness and Lily took pity on her, lighting the lamps with a gentle gold flame from her wand. "Okay, now talk."

"And why are you sopping wet?" Alice asked. "Didn't your gallant twin shelter you from the rain? Gideon did. Not that _we_ got sidetracked…"

"Can't I change and dry off first?" Emmeline begged. The other three girls sighed, but Mary nodded. Emmeline went into the bathroom gratefully, stripping off her robe.

She caught a glance of herself in the mirror—hair dripping onto the floor, skin pale from lack of sun in the recent days, but her eyes were glowing and her lips were bright red, curving into an unstoppable smile. She smothered a wild giggle and changed, drying her hair with a quick charm as she walked out again.

Emmeline lay down on her bed and nodded to the others that she was ready to talk. "What do you want to know?"

"Fabian Prewett?" Mary asked, her voice high in slight disbelief. "How could someone like you ever get Fabian?"

Lily and Alice glared at her, then Emmeline, who wasn't hardly paying attention to Mary and certainly not caring about her comments, dreamily said, "He told me I was beautiful."

"Oh, Emm!" Alice cried out, looking very happy for her friend.

Mary narrowed her eyes at Emmeline, appraising her. "So he goes for dark haired and flat chested, huh… Who would have thought it?"

"Mary!" Lily chastised. "Emm is pretty. Fabian clearly thought so," she finished wickedly, smiling cheekily at the blushing, now glassy-eyed Emmeline.

"Shut up. Anyway, I need to write to Benjy."

Alice blinked. "Do you want Fabian to die young? I thought you liked snogging him."

"Alice!" Emmeline scowled. "No, but he'll find out anyway. It's better if I just tell him." She flopped off the side of her bed, retrieving her school bag and drawing out parchment and quill, one of the Self-Inking quills that were new that year. She heard the other girls turning into bed as she wrote, lighting her wand to do so.

_Dear Benjy,_

_Sorry I haven't written in a while—third year is busier than I thought. My Care of Magical Creatures class is really fun, and Ancient Runes is fascinating. Transfiguration is still the best though. I guess everyone knows (unless you have your head stuck under a rock) that Professor McGonagall is a cat Animagus, but seeing her transform is really amazing. We're supposed to be turning hedgehogs into pincushions and I was third in the class to get it. Only James and Sirius were quicker than me, and they're annoying about it. One day I'll beat them at something._

_I've been thinking of trying out for Beater on the Quidditch team. Our replacement for you, Hooper, caught a nasty hit to the head during yesterday's game, and Captain Bones is panicking to find a new Beater because this is his seventh year team and "Dammit, we are going to WIN this thing! Now, I'll see you all at the five am tryouts on Saturday!" He's incredibly overenthusiastic about this whole Quidditch business, but I'm trying out anyway. Could you do me a favor if I get onto the team, and buy me the new Starchaser, the one that came out this summer? Only if I get onto the team though, which I'll write about as soon as possible. Could you maybe give me some tips about being a Beater? Captain Bones says that you're his inspiration._

_Anyway, the real reason that I'm writing is that… oh, don't kill him, but Fabian Prewett kissed me this evening. Now, after you've finished squawking and howling and throwing things and making a scene in the Auror office, pick up this letter again and finish, because he's really changed and not the idiot I used to complain about. Though Lily asks me if you will break James Potter's nose for her—he asked her out today, and she didn't appreciate it. Anyway, DO NOT come up to the castle because a boy kissed me. I know you care but that would be the scarily overprotective streak kicking in again, and I don't want the boys here to be scared of kissing me because of you and your rashness when it comes to defending me._

_Why, you ask? Why do I want those slimeballs touching me at all, when you could come up here and deal with them all so they never even think about even THINKING about me again? Because, Benjamin Fenwick, I rather liked snogging (it really was more snogging than just kissing) Fabian and I daresay I'll like snogging other boys as well. No, don't throw books or charm plates to break themselves, you'll scare people. So keep your nose out of it. I just thought I should tell you because you'd find out anyway, and then you'd really go irrational._

_Much love, always and forever, from your little sister_

_Emmie_

Emmeline sent the letter off the next morning with Arrow, who'd come down to breakfast to steal some of Emmeline's toast. Fabian kept shooting her not-so-subtle looks, making her blush slightly. Alice and the other girls kept their mouths shut, as per Emmeline's wishes. After all, she reasoned, it was just a kiss. What could he mean by it? Although, the looks were telling her that it might be more than just a kiss…

She was both grateful and sad when the bell rang, signaling the students to get the their classes. She managed to evade Alice's constant notes and pokes by throwing extra effort into her notes, paying strict attention even in her History of Magic class.

Fabian dragged her into a closet during the passing time for lunch and kissed her soundly before saying anything. "Afternoon, Emmie-mine. How are you on this fine day?"

"I am very well, thank you. And yourself, Fabe?"

"Excellent as well. Tell me, m'dear—have you sent off my death letter yet?"

"Yes, I wrote to Benjy last night and sent it this morning. Have you sentenced me to die yet?"

His brow furrowed. "What?"

"Have you told anyone who might tell other girls?" She clarified.

"No, but how would that sentence you to die?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, causing him to snicker. "You, Fabian Prewett, are a very attractive wizard, are you aware of this?" He pretended to ponder, then nodded cheerfully, making her smack his head lightly. "Modesty is a virtue. Anyway, in knowing that you are handsome, you attract many witches. Many other girls would like to be me, if they knew. And that is something that could cause harm to me, such as but not limited to slaps, punches, cuts, thrown books, tears, and so on. Do you follow me?"

"I could kiss your hurts better," he offered. She rolled her eyes.

He let her out of the closet after both checking that the coast was clear and kissing her soundly again. "I shall see you later, dearest. Try not to pine."

"I'll pine when you're a holly bush, Fabe. See you." He blew a kiss after her as she slipped out of the corridor and into a bathroom to straighten her hair. She splashed some water onto her face after she pointed her wand at her hair, returning the errant strands to their tight braid. She looked into the mirror as she dried her face off, trying to subdue her telltale grin.

Darting out of the bathroom and down to the Great Hall for lunch, she managed to defer the questions asked with smirks from Alice and Lily. She ate quickly and then they headed to Charms, where Emmeline employed the same tactic that she'd used earlier—utmost concentration on her notes and spellwork. A prank involving Severus Snape made Potions more enjoyable for the Gryffindors, and Sirius, James, Peter and Remus were the honored ones that night in the common room, again drawing attention away from Emmeline.

The next morning dawned bright and early as Emmeline danced into the shower, using some of the cinnamon and vanilla shampoo from her first compliment from Fabian, as she recalled it now. She was feeling happy enough to sing… so she did. Lily had the habit of listening to Muggle music in their dorm room, by way of a tricky little charm on the wireless set, and Emmeline had always had a knack for remembering lyrics and tunes. "Here comes the sun, do do do do…"

She massaged the shampoo into her hair. "Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun… here comes the sun, and I say it's all right!" Her voice echoed around the small shower, muffling Alice's shouts to get out of the bathroom.

She rinsed off and donned her robes, drying her hair with the charm again. "Sun sun sun, here it comes!" She sang as she exited, while Lily laughed as Alice stomped into the bathroom, rolling her eyes. "Sun sun sun, here it comes!"

Emmeline was hunting around for her shoes as Lily joined in. Neither of their voices were classically pretty, but as neither one of them had any training and they didn't care, it didn't matter. "Little darling, the smile's returning to the faces. Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun…"

"So how is Fabian?" Lily asked when they finished the song.

"Haven't seen him this morning. Knowing him, he'll drag me into a broom closet for a little breakfast treat." Lily made an odd little choking noise as Emmeline continued. "How's James?" She asked wickedly.

Lily groaned. "He asked me out again!"

"Oh really? What'd you say?"

"I didn't say anything. I hit him with a hex to make his head get bigger, demonstrating his abnormally large ego."

Emmeline grinned, then shouted at the bathroom door. "Alice! You owe me ten sickles! Lily hexed James!"

A muffled complaint echoed out from the bathroom, then Alice opened the door in a puff of steam, straightening her robes when Lily entered and shut the door. "I thought she'd have scared him off."

"Well, she didn't. Pay up."

Alice grumbled as she removed ten sickles and handed them over. "Go ahead and meet Fabian, I know you want to. I'll stay with Lily. Have you seen Mary?"

"No. She's probably out to make sure I don't take her record for kisses among the third years. I'll see you down at breakfast." She waved a quick goodbye as practically flew out of the common room.

She was slightly disappointed that Fabian didn't drag her into a broom closet that morning, but she joined him for breakfast. Even without it being public knowledge that they were a sort-of couple, it was normal enough for her to sit with the twins, because they had been friends of Benjy even though he had claimed to find them very annoying. Emmeline idly wondered if he'd automatically hate the both of them because of the kissing thing, then answered her own question. Benjy would feel that it was his duty to hate them.

She leaned into Fabian's shoulder much like she used to do with Benjy, not caring who saw. Picking up a peach and munching on it, Emmeline used her wand to clear excess juice away from it so she wouldn't muss her robes or get sticky fingers and face. She listened to the murmur of conversation in the Great Hall, then sat up slightly at the arrival of the owls.

Everyone's attention was caught by the leader of the owls, her own Arrow. Suddenly Emmeline got a bad feeling that intensified as she spotted the red envelope that was already smoking in her bird's talons. Arrow didn't even stop as she delivered the letter, screeching as she banked in the air and flew back out the window after dropping it in front of Fabian Prewett.

Fabian audibly gulped as he looked down at the smoking red envelope, with his name written on it in a scrawl that Emmeline recognized instantly as Benjy's writing when he was extremely unhappy and mad. The redheaded fifth-year turned somewhat accusing eyes to Emmeline, though she could tell his heart wasn't in his anger. "I told you he was going to kill me with a cursed envelope."

"Well, this one is only cursed to shout at you and… well, really loudly shout at you. Nothing else. Just open it, they get louder the longer you wait." Emmeline didn't know whether to laugh or curl up and die because of the idiot she called her brother. Maybe she should send him a Howler back, embarrass him at the Auror office. Especially since he was a trainee… yes. She decided what to do as the envelope shot open and Benjy's magically magnified voice filled the hall, shouting at Fabian.

"YOU FILTHY DISGUSTING BASTARD, HOW DARE YOU LAY HANDS ON MY LITTLE SISTER! YOU WILL STOP THIS MOMENT OR I SWEAR TO MERLIN I WILL COME UP TO HOGWARTS TOMORROW MORNING AND I KNOW SOME DAMNED GOOD CURSES, MORE THAN ENOUGH TO HEX YOU TO NEXT WEEK WITHOUT SOME IMPORTANT BODY PARTS THAT YOU NEED IF YOU EVER WANT TO SHAG! YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW MUCH OF 'EMMELINE'S TIGER' I CAN BE! AND THE FULL FORCE OF MY HATRED AND RAGE WILL BE DIRECTED AT YOU! EMMIE COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU IF SHE FELT LIKE IT BUT SHE DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT BECAUSE SHE'S GOING TO BE A NUN AND NEVER HAVE CHILDREN OR KISS ANYONE ELSE! EVER!

"AND AS FOR YOU," the Howler directed its blast of noise at Emmeline, who suppressed a cringe. "IF HE DARES EVEN LOOK AT YOU AGAIN YOU TELL ME, YOU HEAR? OR ANY WIZARD! MEN ARE TROUBLE AND YOU ARE MUCH TOO YOUNG—TRY AGAIN WHEN YOU'RE FIFTY, YOUNG LADY! NO MORE SNOGGING FABIAN PREWETT! AND I AM NEVER IRRATIONAL!" The letter burst into flames and the ashes fell in Fabian's goblet.

The Great Hall broke into titters of laughter at the ashen-faced Fabian, though Emmeline was glaring at the spot where the Howler had burned. "Be a _nun_?" She asked the air. "Oh, I don't think so. Fabe, Gid—either one of you know where I can get a Howler? Or how to make one?"

Gideon nodded, struggling to keep his face straight and not roar with laughter at his scared-looking brother. "Yeah, I can get you one. To Ben, I assume?"

"You assume correctly."

Later that night Emmeline barred her friends from their dormitory and sat with the red letter in front of her, twirling her wand as she debated how to phrase what she wanted to say. Speaking quickly and clearly, she said, "Benjamin Fenwick, if you ever dare embarrass me like that again I will get you back. And if you ever even thought for a second that I was going to become a nun and never fall in love you're not only horribly deluded, you're also completely naïve when it comes to girls. It doesn't matter if I'm your sister or not, idiot.

"Now, I trust this is sufficiently embarrassing you. To add to that embarrassment I want to tell you that the Tower had better be free of dirty socks and you're doing all the cooking when I come home for Christmas, or you're banished to the broom shed outside. And, to make up for completely humiliating me and making my personal life public, you sodding arse, I'm sending an owl to that arithmancer you like, Miss Vector, and telling her that story of when you got Stinksap all over you by playing with the _mimbulus mimbletonia_ Alice Prewett brought to class last year. And just for good measure, I'm going to swear once more. You absolute prudish ARSE, Benjy Fenwick!"

Emmeline sealed the letter with her wand and smiled at a job well done. She knew she wasn't livid, which would have made the Howler more cringe-worthy, but the spell on the letter would magnify her voice and cause him mortification in the office. Or so she hoped.

Satisfied with a job completed, Emmeline returned to the common room and tied the red letter to Arrow's leg (the owl somehow knowing that she was wanted for service), who looked at her in reproach. "I know you don't like Howlers, Arrow, but Benjy deserves it." Arrow hooted and took off into the night, while Emmeline joined her friends.

"What were you doing up there?" Lily asked. "I know you weren't with Fabian, because the stairs don't let boys up."

"Nah, I was sending a letter to Benjy."

Gideon laughed. "Make good use of that Howler I got for you?"

She nodded and grinned at him. "That I did. He's going to be humiliated in front of the entire Auror department if Arrow delivers it at the right time tomorrow morning, not to mention the girl he likes as well. I sent her a letter about the Stinksap incident—you remember that."

Gideon winced. "I'd hate to get on your bad side."

Emmeline smiled angelically. "Don't send me Howlers regarding who I snog and we'll be good. Who's up for a game of Exploding Snap?"

Benjy appeared to be sufficiently cowed by her letter/Howler combination and didn't make any more comments about Fabian, or boys in general. Lily's parents were going to some Muggle holiday place so Emmeline invited her to the Tower for a wizarding Christmas, which the girl gladly accepted. Alice said they were all invited to a Christmas Eve party her parents were holding, and soon enough everyone was packing for the train.

Benjy was waiting at the station to Apparate the girls home. "Emmie!" He greeted her with a bear-like hug.

"I missed you Benjy! You remember Lily Evans, right?" She asked, hugging him back tightly.

Benjy clapped the redhead on the shoulder and nodded. "Of course. You're going to have to tell us how Muggles spend Christmas—how do they manage not to burn down their homes with the candles?"

Emmeline caught Fabian motioning to her out of the corner of her eye, while also looking warily at Benjy. She slipped away while Lily had Benjy's attention, letting Fabian pull her into a small, dark nook along the side of the platform. "I'm going to miss not seeing your lovely face every day, Emmie-mine."

"And I'm going to miss not snogging your handsome face off every day, Fabe."

"We'll have to remedy that when we get back from break, won't we?" He breathed into her hair while he hugged her close. She murmured agreement into his robes, then he tipped her head back and their lips met…

"A_hem_."

Emmeline stifled an annoyed growl and showed a couple of choice fingers to the intruder, nuzzling her face into Fabian's neck. Surprisingly enough, she felt him step back and cough, which made her look around and meet Benjy's none-to-thrilled green eyes. He had his arms crossed and Lily was standing off to the side behind him, trying hard to keep a straight face.

"Have you finished saying goodbye?" Benjy asked dryly.

"Not yet," Emmeline snapped back, standing on tiptoe and pulling Fabian's head down, kissing him firmly. "I'll see you after break, Fabe. We'll continue our conversation then."

Benjy made a choking noise and grabbed her arm, dragging her away. "That's enough, Emmeline."

"Oh, don't 'Emmeline' me, you great prat. We weren't doing anything."

"Well, excuse me for not wanting to see my sister being messed around by—"

"We were NOT messing around, you idiot! It's called kissing! Try it sometime, it's actually nice, not that you would know because you're such a prude…"

Benjy glared down at her. "I am NOT a prude. I've had experience kissing. But you're too young!"

Emmeline rolled her eyes and turned to Lily. "This is Benjy, he's annoying. See, everyone at school thought he was a great guy, all the girls loved him, he could do no wrong… now you see the real Benjy Prewett. He's a prudish prat who changes track in conversation because he knows he's losing and enjoys making his little sister's life a loveless hell and insists she's going to become a nun."

Lily giggled. "I'm sure he only cares about you."

Benjy nodded to her cordially. "Yes I do. Thank you Lily, I'm very thankful for the vote of support and confidence."

Emmeline raised her eyebrow, still ignoring Benjy. "Lily, have you ever heard of overprotection?" She asked as Benjy took her arm and turned them into the crushing darkness.

The trip back to the Sea Tower was short, and Lily gasped on seeing it. "You live in a _lighthouse_?"

Emmeline nodded. "It has lights inside, yeah."

"No, I mean… Muggles call buildings like those lighthouses. When ships need to be warned of rocks in the water, there's a lighthouse to guide them at night so they don't crash."

"How can a house guide something?" Benjy asked.

Lily shook her head as Emmeline started to open the gates, but then Benjy held them shut, though Lily said, apparently without noticing, "No, there's a light on top of the house and it flashes. Muggle ship captains know that this means rocks in the water so go careful."

"Muggles are confusing," Benjy replied. "Emmie, I learned some new spells to ward the place with—you'll need to vouch for Lily before she enters. Tap your wand and say, 'I, Emmeline Demelza Vance do swear that Lily… whatever her full name is… is not barred access from the Sea Tower, home of the Vance family under the ward of Benjamin Prewett until I do so come of age at seventeen, when, in accordance with wizarding law, I shall be a legal adult.'"

Emmeline raised an eyebrow at him. "Could you have made that any more complicated and confusing?"

"Once you turn seventeen and I'm not warder anymore, you can drop that last part. It's just a good idea to keep as many protections as we can around our houses in times like these. I can get through because I'm the legal keeper and I set the spell. When you turn seventeen you'll need to let me in officially, though. It's linked to your voice and those words are key, go on."

"What do you mean, times like these?" Lily asked as Emmeline recited what Benjy had told her in a murmur, placing her wand against the gates.

"It's not too much to worry about if you're not a pureblood, the Ministry has it mostly under control, but there's a wizard rising in power with some questionable ideas."

"Why are purebloods worrying?" Emmeline asked as she finished the declamation to allow Lily into the grounds and building of the Vance home.

Benjy looked like he was about to say something, then bit his lip and sighed. "I'll explain later. Right now, let's get Lily settled in. She's taking the highest spare room, right?"

"Lily, you can choose which room you'd like. The highest guest room has the best view of the sea. The Tower's pretty big, but it's just me and Benjy here." Emmeline unlocked the door and entered as Benjy flicked his wand to open the window, illuminating the inside of the Tower.

Lily gasped as sunlight poured into the Tower, open doors alongside the spiral staircase flying up the center of the main tower glowing golden in the late afternoon blaze. Emmeline nudged her to start climbing the staircase and she did so, though she peered into every open room on her way up. "You live here?"

"Yeah," Emmeline said with a shrug. "It's not as grand as some of the old wizarding families' homes—the McKinnons have a castle, did you know? We'll go there for the Christmas party; they always have fun gatherings."

"Alice has a _castle_?" Lily gaped at Emmeline as the dark-haired girl pushed open the door, which creaked slightly.

"This is your room. You've got a great view of the ocean." Emmeline pointed out the big bay windows in the curving room, the walls echoing the circle of the tower. "I'm just up the stairs and to the right if you need anything, the bathroom's across the hall. If you want a shower go ahead, otherwise," she paused and sniffed, "Benjy's cooking dinner downstairs if you want to go talk to him, there's a library on the third level and an observatory on the seventh. I'm going to change into something more comfy. I'll give you the tour later."

Emmeline left her friend still staring in amazement around her room, then ran up the stairs into her own room which was on the second highest level of the Tower, just beneath the observatory. She tossed her school robes into the corner to deal with later, pulling on a sleeveless sweater and loose pants. She braided her hair back in front of her mirror and then went back downstairs, settling into a deep red armchair in the open main level of the Tower, watching Benjy cook across the way. By the sounds of water running upstairs, Lily was in the shower.

Emmeline smiled across at Benjy. "I really missed this place."

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "And me as well, right?"

"Of course! How's training going?"

"Good," he flicked his wand and a bottle of Butterbeer floated across to her. "My mentor is really crazy. His name's Moody, Alistor Moody. He's one of the best—your father was his trainer."

Emmeline's breath caught in her throat, but she took a gulp of Butterbeer and managed a smile. "Oh, Emmie, sorry," Benjy seemed to realize that he'd said something wrong almost instantly. "I shouldn't have mentioned… only, Moody said that your father was one of the people he looked up to the most when he was my age."

"It's okay, Benjy. It's just hard, sometimes, realizing that… that Mum and Dad won't be home for Christmas. Anyway, Alice McKinnon invited the three of us to a Christmas Eve party at her place."

"You need me to take you?"

Emmeline rolled her eyes. "And you could even stay yourself. She invited all three of us."

"Who's going to be there?" Benjy asked gruffly.

"Hell if I know. What're you making for dinner?" Emmeline asked as Lily walked down the stairs, eyes still looking around in wonderment.

"We're having shepherd's pie tonight, is that good with you, Lily?"

She smiled at him, taking a seat across from Emmeline in another once of the chairs. "It sounds wonderful. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Besides giving Emmie lessons in manners no, but thanks for asking. I'm just going to put it in the oven for an hour or so, then we'll eat. Blackberry tart for dessert."

Emmeline leaned her head back against the chair as Benjy shut the over door and took a seat on the couch. "See, Lily, this is why I keep him around. To cook for me."

"Oh, shut up Emmie." Benjy blushed slightly. "I like cooking," he explained to Lily. "Emmie makes fun of me for it, but she'd starve at home without me. And she knows it too."

Emmeline nodded. "Sadly enough, he's right. I'm not much good with the householdy things, and neither really is Benjy, but he can cook and I'm okay with laundry, so we make it work."

"And there's always _scourgify_ for the floors. Anyway, Lily—what's it like living with Muggles?" Like most young wizards, Muggles were the realm of Muggle Studies classes for Benjy, and he'd never bothered with the class.

Lily shrugged. "It's like living with wizards, but without magic. I mean, Muggles want the same things as wizards do—a good home, their children to succeed, food on the table every meal, enough money to go on vacations. They just live without magic."

Benjy shook his head as he tried to contemplate living without magic. Emmeline was lost on that front as well, as her parents had always used magic for everything, then later so had Benjy. Now Emmeline herself was using magic on a regular basis, with the exception of holidays.

The shepherd's pie was excellent and the trio was quiet as they ate, and then finished with tea and the blackberry tart. They sat on the carpet, chatting softly and watching the fire until around midnight, then yawns forced them to go to sleep.

The next few mornings all dawned grey, then snow fell on the morning of December 24, which prompted a huge, three-way snowball fight out on the grounds of the Tower. Benjy got out his broom and launched an aerial assault on the girls. Emmeline and Lily ran to the broom shed under a hail of snowballs and Emmeline climbed onto her broom. Lily remained on the ground while lifting ammunition to Emmeline, both girls pummeling Benjy from above and below.

They called a truce around midday, Lily suddenly remembering Alice's party. Benjy grumbled about being forced to dress up but did so anyway, and they were ready to leave around five.

Emmeline was wearing her hair up, as usual, and a deep red dress that Benjy tried to order her to change out of, on the grounds that it was too revealing. Lily took Emmeline's side, saying that a dress that barely left the collarbones bare and just the tops of the shoulder blades was in no way too revealing. Lily herself was wearing a green that matched her eyes perfectly, cut into a simple, long-sleeved dress. Her hair was down and she'd gotten Emmeline to place tiny golden bells in it, in the spirit of the season.

The three grabbed black cloaks, Benjy's matching his dress robes perfectly, and walked out into the light snow. At the end of the drive he sealed the locks and wards, taking the arms of the girls and spinning them into blackness.

The McKinnons' always had a huge party for Christmas and the castle turned into something that looked like a Christmas seasonal shop had exploded over it. Lily gasped at the huge display of lights, magical snow, reindeer pulling sleighs, gaudily dressed witches and wizards, and decorations draping the castle. They stood at the end of the causeway across the moat into the castle, and soon enough a reindeer-drawn sleigh stopped in front of them.

Benjy gave the girls an arm up, then climbed in himself as the reindeer began trotting across the bridge to the castle, pulling the sleigh under massive stone walls and into a courtyard. The courtyard was a square with a circle in the middle housing a fountain and small garden. The sleigh was drawn around it and the reindeer stopped in front of huge double doors, thrown open wide to show bright yellow light gleaming, witches and wizards laughing and walking around.

They stepped down from the carriage and Benjy offered his arms to the girls, who giggled and accepted his shepherding up the wide, shallow steps of the main entry. At the top they were met by Alice, who hugged Emmeline and Lily excitedly. "Welcome! Hi Ben! Let's see if I can't find you some escorts… oy, Fabian! Gideon! Get over here, you two!"

The twins arrived quickly, Gideon giving Alice a rueful smile. "Thanks for getting us away from Auntie Muriel… she's a right pain in the arse and no mistake. Hey you three," he smiled at Benjy, Emmeline and Lily.

Benjy didn't return the greeting, as he was too busy glaring daggers at Fabian. "I'll be Emmeline's escort this evening, thanks all the same, Alice."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Fine. Make me look like a bad hostess then. Actually, Lily, I had someone else in mind for you. Go away, Prewetts. You're not needed anymore." The twins laughed and started to meander away, steering visibly clear of their aunt, who was shouting at some hapless wizard who had offered her champagne.

Alice vanished then returned almost the same instant, dragging James Potter along by his sleeve. He gulped as he looked at Lily, then grinned suavely and ruffled his hair. "Evening, Evans. You look lively tonight… save me a dance?"

"Urgh, Alice! No, Potter, I will not dance with you. Gideon, get back here!" The twin turned bemusedly as Lily grabbed his elbow. "You're my escort for tonight."

"Why?" He asked with a laugh.

"Because if you're any kind of gentleman at all, you'll save me from the horror of dancing with Potter."

"Alright, sweetheart. Then may I have this dance without you dismembering me, my gorgeous redhead?"

Lily visibly fought to hide a blush, her former bravery when it came to getting away from James Potter vanishing at the look from the handsome and extremely flirty Prewett twin. "Um, okay." She gave a bit of a wild laugh as he whirled her out onto the golden dance floor, Emmeline and Lily giggling helplessly behind her.

Benjy scowled as Fabian looked back at Emmeline while the girl shrugged and grimaced in Benjy's direction. The fifth-year grinned ruefully and winked, then vanished into the crowd as Emmeline and Benjy took to the dance floor.

Emmeline's mother had taught both of them how to dance when they were young, and so their movements tended to match perfectly. It wasn't a trial to dance, and Emmeline often wished that Hogwarts had more dance opportunities. A ball of some sort would be wonderful… she sighed to herself. Yes, of course the professors would want to supervise a group of emotionally-charged teenagers for a night of dancing.

After a few dances Benjy let her go, Emmeline smirking as she saw the current object of Benjy's desires, a young, sweet-looking witch named Mirabella Weasley, the trademark Weasley hair glinting in the lamplight. Benjy brushed off his robes and ran a hand through his hair, then sauntered off to engage the pretty witch in conversation. Emmeline's shoulders were shaking as she stifled her giggles, watching as Mirabella became flustered as Benjy worked his charm on her. He eventually bowed over her hand, kissed it, then led her out to dance.

"Can I approach you now without the tiger guarding his sister?" A low voice muttered in her ear.

Emmeline glanced sideways at Fabian, brown eyes matching grey. "Possibly. For safety's sake, let's go somewhere else. Alice's place has all sorts of little hiding places." He took her hand and they walked off into the halls of the castle, passing other kissing couples and tipsy people.

Fabian was more at home in Alice's castle, the Prewetts and McKinnons being great family friends, both with large families. He took her up a set of spiral stairs and stopped by a window looking out onto the northern part of the grounds, a cleared field large enough for two Quidditch pitches. He pulled Emmeline tight to him, her back resting against his chest as she looked out the window into the snowy night. "It's so beautiful," she whispered.

"Yes, you really are," Fabian muttered into her neck. Emmeline laughed softly as they resumed their interrupted 'conversation' from the train station, thinking that Benjy wouldn't be happy.

Soon enough it was time to go back to school, and Benjy dropped the girls off at the train station with another warning to Emmeline, directing his friendly advice to Lily as well, to keep away from boys. They found a compartment and then Benjy left after helping magic their trunks to the racks overhead. Alice joined them soon after, looking disgusted.

"Why do older siblings have to be so annoying?" She groaned by way of greeting.

Lily and Emmeline exchanged a look. "What happened?"

"Marlene. Ben apparently flirted with her at the party and we just saw him outside the station. He said hi and she hasn't stopped talking about him."

"Well, what's it been, five minutes? Can't be that annoying. Mind you, you're talking to me, whose big brother sends a Howler to the guy I'm snogging, so I probably have a different idea of annoying."

"Ugh. Never mind. Anyway, I reminded her that he was flirting with Mirabella more, so she left me the moment I got over the barrier. I had to ask a prefect for help with my trunk."

Lily snickered. "I'm sure Frank Longbottom would have helped."

Alice sighed longingly. "If only. It was the Ravenclaw prefect, Seamus Moran. Cute, but not as wonderful as my Frank."

"_Your_ Frank?"

"In my mind, I can call him whatever I want." The girls laughed at that and chatted away the rest of the journey, though Lily had to leave to get her prefect duties from the Head Boy and Girl..

Classes resumed with the usual January weather—absolutely horrible for Quidditch. Emmeline returned scowling from every practice, James likewise, from the rain and sleet and snow that the heavens battered them with. Their bad mood was somewhat infectious, or at least it didn't help with general good feeling and morale around the Gryffindor Tower.

Emmeline was walking back from the library, trying and failing to smother yawns behind her hands as she headed to the Tower in late January. She had a stack of books in her arms, too tired to even bother with a Hover Charm. It'd probably just explode, the way her luck ran with Charms. She'd gone from being decent enough to scrap a pass for her first two years, and then she just didn't understand any more. Lily and Alice helped, Alice being the best in their dorm at Charms, but Emmeline still wasn't proficient. Flitwick was threatening her with tutoring if she didn't improve.

She swore under her breath as a book, _Charming for Dullards_, went crashing to the stone ground. She knelt down and shifted awkwardly to rearrange the stack, then paused as she heard the sound of lowered voices. Benjy sometimes called her his little cat, and the Prewett twins had stuck the nicknames of 'Emmeline's tiger' and 'little kitten' onto them, so naturally she had a cat's curiosity to match the titles.

"..don't care what Mummy says, you're at Hogwarts now…"

Emmeline frowned. That didn't sound nice, and she thought she recognized the voice. After looking around shiftily, she tucked her stack of books into a corner niche with a suit of armor and walked silently to the corridor where the voice was echoing slightly.

A whimper, seemingly released against its owners' will, was accompanied by, "You slimy little Slytherin git!"

Emmeline chanced a quick look around the column, eyes widening as she identified the aggressor and prey. She slunk down against the wall, biting her lip as she debated what to do. On one hand, there was House loyalty. He'd hate her if she stepped in—actually, they both would. But on the other hand, there was right and wrong. Her mother had lectured her on always doing the right thing, even if it was painful for those involved.

"Easier said then done, Mum," Emmeline whispered under her breath. However, she stood up and squared her shoulders, setting her chin high as she stepped out into the dim lamplight of the corridor. "Stop that right now, Sirius," she directed with a hint of her Mum-voice, one designed to make the addressee feel guilty.

The dark haired boys looked around at her, one annoyed and the other hiding relief. "Get out of it, Emm. This is family business."

"Bullying your little brother?" Emmeline shot at him. "That's not family business, that's _wrong_."

"Go away, Emmeline." Sirius growled, using one hand to pin his brother against the wall and the other to aim his wand. "It's nothing to do with you."

"Shut it, Sirius. You're a part of my House, and Gryffindors have honor. What honor and chivalry is there in threatening your brother in a back hallway? None. That's what cowards do."

"Are you calling me a coward?" He released Regulus and turned to Emmeline, grey eyes flashing. Emmeline spared a seconds' thought for how different his eyes were from Fabian's, even though they were the same color. Fabian's were always warm and loving when he looked at her, with that glint of mischief she loved, whereas Sirius's were cold and shadowed while he glared.

"And if I am? You're intimidating a first-year; if you want to pick a fight, go with someone older. Only a coward scares someone younger and weaker." Her hand found her wand hidden beneath her robes. She didn't want to cross spells with him, but she would if she had to. "Are you really so weak?" She taunted, hoping that Regulus would use the opportunity to get away.

"I'm not weak! And I'm not a coward!" Sirius snarled at her, advancing as Regulus scrambled away down the dark corridor, descending the staircase at the end. Emmeline let herself breathe a quick sigh of relief, then focused back on Sirius.

"You—" Emmeline dodged out of the way as Sirius sent a jet of light her way. She knew he couldn't do non-verbal spells yet, none of the third years could, so she suspected it was more rage-driven than anything powerful. Still, she didn't want to test.

"I don't—" She managed to get out before he shouted a curse and she ducked it, flinging a Jelly-Legs hex back at him. It missed. "_Morphus falcae_!" She shrieked as he bore down on her, a wild look on his face. It wasn't something she'd ever tried before, only a Transfiguration spell she'd read in a book.

He let out a scream, looking in horror at his hands, which had sprouted talons. It didn't stop him from retaliating though, with a roar of "_Miasmere_!"

Emmeline blinked and waved her hands in front of her face as a grey fog clouded her vision and dulled her perception. A whip seemed to be searing her hands and face and she screamed, then all went black.

She blinked her eyes open in a place that seemed to have white on every available surface. A kind-looking nurse bustled over to her as Emmeline moved slightly. "Oh, my dearest, what were you thinking, wandering around alone in the hallways? Here, drink up. This will help with your hands."

Emmeline swallowed some of the potion, looking around. "Where am I?" she asked, her voice cracking slightly.

"Hospital Wing, dear."

"Why?"

The nurse sighed. "You were unconscious when they brought you here. That nice prefect Seamus Moran brought you in, him and Frank Longbottom. Do you remember who cursed you?"

Emmeline blinked. She remembered quite clearly fighting with Sirius, but if Frank and Moran hadn't gotten him then he'd run off and not been caught… she bit her lip, appearing as though she was trying to remember. What was the code of Gryffindor? Chivalry. Honor. It would be neither to turn Sirius in. Slowly, she shook her head. "No. There was some kind of fog… and I don't remember anything."

The nurse gave her a look that suggested she guessed she wasn't getting the full truth and that Emmeline needed to work on her lying skills, then sighed. "Very well, I thought as much. You'll be free to go as soon as you've finished that. Your hands will have those welts for a while, and I can't do anything about magical scarring, so you'll probably get a few from that as well. But curse scars can sometimes be helpful. The ones on your face will fade, however."

Emmeline nodded her thanks and finished the potion. After glancing at the clock to see what class she should be in she left with a wave to the sweet-natured nurse. She made a quick trip to Gryffindor Tower, which was mercifully deserted at that hour, then grabbed her things for her last two classes.

The halls were strangely quiet as she walked to Transfiguration. Shrugging, she pushed open the door to McGonagall's classroom and let herself in.

"Emm!" Alice shouted, her and Lily rushing over to hug their friend. Emmeline hugged them gingerly back, wary of the scarlet marks on her hands. Most of the rest of the class welcomed her with smiles and as well, before Professor McGonagall restored order with a throat-clearing. Alice and Lily forced Emmeline to sit between them at their desk, small as it was.

Emmeline had trouble with notes that day, attempting for a few minutes to take them before Alice hissed in sympathy and barred her from even touching a quill, insisting that she'd copy everything after class. Emmeline accepted happily, glad that both she didn't have to do anything and McGonagall didn't care.

She ate sparingly at dinner that night, finding it hard to manage fork and spoon. The potion that the hospital nurse had given her also made her feel strangely full, and she wasn't hungry despite eating very little as they headed back. Emmeline was slightly overwhelmed by the number of people that accompanied her back—Lily and Alice, of course, along with the Prewett twins and the majority of the Marauders (Emmeline didn't see Sirius, and didn't know what she'd do when she did see him), Frank Longbottom and Seamus Moran, the prefects who'd found her, and even the two Heads, a Ravenclaw girl and Hufflepuff boy.

She managed to escape up to her dorm room with only Alice, Mary and Lily. Alice immediately turned to her best friend and hugged her tightly again. "You've been out for three days, you know."

Emmeline gasped. "I have?"

Lily nodded. "Whatever they cursed you with, it was spelled to keep you asleep."

"And mess with my memory," Emmeline interjected before they could ask. She didn't want it getting out that Sirius Black had hurt her. For one thing, he'd never survive the wrath of Fabian and Benjy combined. Or even just Benjy alone, Emmeline amended to herself. The rest of Gryffindor Tower would turn from him and mutter among themselves that he'd been bound to go bad, it really had only been a matter of time before he snapped. She wouldn't have that, no matter what she felt about him. "I don't remember who attacked me, I'm sorry."

"Emm, don't be sorry about what you can't help. It's better for him if you don't, anyway. We'd kill him, or at least mangle him and then leave him for Benjy and Fabian. They'd murder him, and not a quick and simple AK either. I bet Benjy would gladly _crucio_ that bastard," Alice grinned deviously, nastily.

"Alice, don't joke about things like that. I've got a few things I'd like to say as well, though," Lily commented, her tone light but eyes meaningful.

Emmeline felt herself drifting off to sleep as the others continued to mutter to themselves about the things they'd do to Emmeline's attacker. Her last impression was of Alice coming over and tucking up the blankets to her chin and kissing her cheek much like her mother would have done. "Get some sleep, Emm."

A surprise waited for her the next day at the Gryffindor Table in the form of Benjy, who swept her up into a hug and held her tightly. "Emmie, thank god," he whispered into her hair. "They wouldn't let me come up, Dumbledore said he had everything under control, but I've been so worried. Who did it?"

"I don't know, Benjy. I'd tell you if I knew." They sat down, Benjy still with his arm draped over her shoulder. Emmeline chewed her toast thoughtfully as girls giggled around them, presumably about Benjy. She wondered what to do about Sirius. For one thing, if she confronted him she didn't know what he'd do. They were friends but not close. She had the feeling that he'd always been grateful to her for what she'd done in their first year for him, but Emmeline knew that if she'd hexed her little brother and had been caught, then cursed pain and a three-day sleep onto the person she felt she owed something she'd feel horrible. More than horrible.

Maybe she just shouldn't say anything to him at all? She could feed him the loss of memory hippogriff dung that she'd given everyone else, and hopefully he'd accept it as a moot point to argue. And anyway, who actually wants to admit that they were a first class bastard to someone, especially someone as well liked as Emmeline? Not that she was trying to be egotistical or anything. That was the domain of James Potter.

Benjy nudged her shoulder and she looked up at him. "I've got to get going, Emmie. Tell Prewett that if her ever lets anything like this happen to you ever again, I'll first kill the bastard that did it and then I'll kill Prewett. Love you."

"Oh, get out of it, Benjy. I love you too, eat your vegetables and don't break the house." She kissed his cheek as he stood and gave him a slight hug, watching him go as he left the Hall, cloak billowing dramatically behind him. "Come on," she muttered to her year-mates. "We've got to get to Potions."


	5. A Date and an Offer

"Alice, you're not going to believe this… Oh hey Lily." Emmeline did a double-take and plastered a smile on her face.

Lily looked up. "What won't Alice believe?"

"Just… this new thing about the Demigauses. You know, that band Alice likes. Says in _Witch Weekly_ that the lead singer is cheating on his girlfriend."

"You don't take _Witch Weekly_ and Alice doesn't like the Demigauses," Lily said slowly, a frown creasing her face.

"Really? I thought she did. Hey! Mary! Are you the one who likes the Demigauses here?" Mary shook her head.

"Huh… ALICE!" Emmeline almost shouted as her best friend entered the dorm. "I need to talk to you! Now!" Emmeline shot up from her bed and seized her friend's hand, dragging her back down the steps and through the common room. Emmeline dashed along the corridor until she came to a set of stairs, then towed Alice up to the top of them, where they seemed to dead end into a stone wall. Drawing out her wand, Emmeline tapped out a pattern onto the wall and tugged Alice through as it opened to reveal a small chamber, then sealed the portal behind them.

"Emm? What the bloody hell was that all about?" Alice asked politely.

"Oh Merlin…"

"Emm?"

"Merlin damn it all!"

"Emm!"

Emmeline let out a sigh and paced up and down the short room.

"Emmeline Vance, if you don't tell me the sodding reason you dragged me up here I'll steal Veritaserum from Sluggy and force it out of you."

"James asked me out."

"James did what now?"

"Asked me out! And I don't know whether to say yes or not, because he's clearly trying to get over Lily and there's Fabian to consider…"

"I thought you and Fabian broke up?"

"Well, yes, but we're going to get back together sometime. Something's just right about me and him. But James… He just wants to go out with me because of Lily! I know it, even if he thinks something else!"

"Emm. Calm down. What do you want to do?"

"Drown myself in a toilet."

"No Emm, Benjy would be unhappy. So would Fabian. Think clearly, and try and stop hyperventilating. Why are you so anxious, anyway?"

"Because it would be wrong to go out with him! Wrong wrong wrong, a million times wrong. He likes Lily and I like Fabian! We're two desperate shmucks willing to go out with anyone and willing to pretend to be happy about it! It's bloody pathetic." She spat the last, looking moodily at the wall.

"Calm down, it's not the end of the world."

"How would you feel if he'd asked _you_ out, Alice? With you liking Frank and all? And we're fifteen, of course it's the end of the world! I can't even ask Benjy for help in this… He'd murder James. You remember when Benjy punched James in the nose at your party because he was being an arse? Benjy's only recently accepted Fabian, and he likes him more since we broke up or drifted apart or whatever, but…"

Alice heaved a sigh. "Emm, you're turning this into a huge problem. Go to Hogsmeade with James, that one just before Christmas in December, and lay it all out for him. If he's smart, which he is, he'll see it clearly. Maybe you can knock some sense into him about the proper way to ask out a girl too, eh?"

Emmeline stopped pacing. "I guess… So I should say yes?"

"I'm not telling you what to do, I'm telling you what I'd do." Alice looked impatiently at the wall. "Can we go? Frank usually is back in the common room by now."

"Oh all right." Emmeline removed the stones in the wall again and they walked back down the spiral staircase. As they neared the Gryffindor portrait hole, Emmeline began to chatter again. "So how's this? I accept his offer of a date and we go to Hogsmeade, then I tell him that I know he just asked me out to try and get over Lily, and—"

"And shut up. That all sounds fine. Now, will you not bother me about this for the next few hours? I need to go get Frank to help me with Arithmancy."

"But you're excellent at Arithmancy."

"Ahh, but Frank doesn't know that now, does he?" Alice winked and sauntered over to where the seventh-year was reading a book. Her demeanor became shy the moment he looked up, and Emmeline laughed softly. Her best friend always talked bold, but when it came to dealing with the one and only Frank Longbottom, she became so timid and nervous.

Emmeline yawned as she sank into an armchair, looking with half-closed eyes over to where the notorious Marauders sat muttering to each other. Lily was off in a corner with Mary, the two discussing homework, from the looks of the surrounding books. Her eyes settled on James, whose glasses were throwing flick of light reflected from the fire. Say yes, say no…? _Ah well,_ Emmeline thought ruefully, _it's not like it'll end well one way or another._ "James! Oi, Potter!"

James looked over and Emmeline rolled her eyes. "All right, I suppose." She gave him a quick grin and for a moment, he looked confused. Then recollection hit him and he grinned as well, nodded, and then went back to his friends. _Lovely, Potter. You have to think for a few seconds before you remember what you asked me, but if Lily said that you'd know in an instant._

She summoned a piece of parchment and a quill, and began penning a letter to Benjy.

_Hey Benjy,_

_School's been crazy, as usual. I just want to go home. I miss you and the Tower so much. Hogwarts has become complicated, and no, it's not because I'm failing my Charms class again. All right, I'm worried about that too, but I can drop it after this year! Except that no, I really can't because I want to be an Auror like you, or maybe a Healer so I can help people._

_When did my life get difficult, Benjy?_

_Sorry. I don't mean to sound like I'm pitying myself, because that's stupid. No, actually… oh, I wasn't going to tell you this, but James Potter asked me out. PICK UP THE LETTER AND STOP SHOUTING MEANINGLESS THINGS AND LET ME FINISH. I wasn't going to say yes to him, for a bunch of reasons. First off, I don't actually like him like that. I like Fabian much more, but we're still not together again, though I think it's only a matter of time. Second, James doesn't like me like that. Maybe he thinks he does, but he likes Lily and he only asked me out to try and get over her, I'll bet you ten Galleons. Third, 'Emmeline and James' sounds wrong. 'James and Emm' sounds a bit better, but… James really needs a two syllable name to balance his. My name sounds better with Fabian's, and 'Emmeline Prewett' has a certain ring to it, don't you think?_

_Stop sputtering and cursing poor Fabian. He really doesn't deserve whatever you're telling him to do with his wand._

_Anyway, I accepted just now but I'm going to tell James to stop trying to get over Lily, stop being an arse about asking her out, stop hexing people in the hallways and grow up. It's worth a shot, anyway. Yes, I know it's stupid to think that my nagging at him will turn him into a decent human being, but I live eternally in hope._

_Now, do me a favor and don't send a Howler to James. I'm going to give him a talking-to anyway, and you'll only embarrass me. Where on earth did you ever get the idea that I'm becoming a nun? I don't think our world even has those._

_I just wanted to tell someone about this. I tried talking about it with Alice but I guess she got sick of it, Mary wouldn't understand, I certainly can't tell Lily, or Fabian and Gideon, I don't know Frank too well, Remus, Sirius and Peter would tell James and I obviously can't tell him either._

_I hope you're not too bored in the Tower. You're not allowed to break the house, remember?_

_Love always and forever,_

_Emmie_

Emmeline stood up out of her chair and slipped out through the portrait hole before anyone noticed where she was headed. Once she was out of the somewhat noisy common room she gave a sigh of relief before walking not overly quickly to the stairs for the Owlery.

It was strange, being out in the halls just before curfew. It was like walking back from when Sirius had cursed her. Emmeline sighed as she remembered. She still hadn't said anything to him. She probably wasn't going to ever say anything to him about it. She remembered the look on his face as she announced to person after person, and indeed, to the quartet of boys from her year, Sirius included, that she hadn't the faintest idea who did it. Sirius had had a look of fear in his eyes before she spoke, well hidden, and afterwards it was confusion. Of course he would know that he hadn't done anything to her memory.

But he'd accepted it, a sense of dull incredulity radiating from him as James growled, Peter glared and Remus looked sympathetically at her, and her own friends vowing to stamp out whatever person did this. Sirius had eventually added his own promises, sounding slightly weak to Emmeline's ears but overlooked to the rest of their friends.

Emmeline turned a corner, heading up a flight of stairs. A portrait chided her for being out so close to curfew but she ignored it. Climbing the final set of steps to the Owlery she stopped, breathing in the musty scent of owls before pushing open the door.

There was a person standing at the far end, looking out the window. "Oh, sorry," Emmeline said. "I didn't know anyone was up here."

The person didn't say anything, but Emmeline thought she heard a stifled sob. "Are you okay?" She mentally smacked herself. That was a stupid thing to say, right up there with 'how are you feeling?' to someone in the throws of dragon pox or in the midst of vomiting slugs.

"I'm fine," a deep voice said, and Emmeline thought she recognized it, but she couldn't tell because sadness always made people sound different.

Emmeline squinted through the dim light in the Owlery. "Caradoc? Is that you?"

"Please go away, Emmeline." Caradoc didn't look around.

"Why are you up here?"

"Why are you?"

Emmeline rolled her eyes. "Caradoc, I'm renowned for being both too nosy and too caring for my own good. Let's cut to the chase, shall we? Why are you up here when we've got a warm common room downstairs? And don't tell me it's to send a letter—you haven't been in the common room for the past few hours." Neither had Emmeline, but she thought she could bluff it through.

"You'll read about it in tomorrow's papers. Go away."

Emmeline bit her lip, then said softly, "Who do you know who was attacked?"

He looked over at her, though she couldn't see his face in the shadows. It was like he was judging her and she just stood there, waiting, letting him decide whether or not to tell her. "My parents," he said eventually. "They were killed last night." If Emmeline hadn't heard the shaking in his voice she would have thought him ambivalent.

She didn't know what to say, but Caradoc continued. "My little brother and sister are safe because of the spells that my parents cast when they could have fled instead. They sacrificed themselves. They're heroes but they're gone." He sounded strange, and it took Emmeline a little while to place his voice as shocked. Shell-shocked, she'd heard that term in her Muggle Studies class, from when soldiers have seen so much and heard so many sounds of war that they go into a daze, seeing and hearing little from then on for a few hours. Obviously it applied to wizards as well, and that was how Caradoc seemed, in complete shock.

"I'm of age," he continued. "That means I have custody of Auggy and Ziggy, and all our stuff but…" he trailed off.

"How old are Auggy and Ziggy?" Emmeline asked quietly. She didn't mention that he was barely of age, having had his birthday a week and a half ago.

"They're twins. Just turned seven."

Emmeline put something together in her head quicker than she thought she'd have been able to. It was a mark of the world they were growing up in, and she didn't like it one bit. She waited for Caradoc to say it though.

"I-I have to leave school and take care of them. They're too young to look out for themselves and we don't have any family… and I'll need a job to make ends meet. My parents don… didn't have a lot of gold. And our house was destroyed." He would have continued on but Emmeline cut in.

"Caradoc, shut up. You're not dropping out of school."

"I have to, Emmeline! You don't understand, you've always had Ben Fenwick—but I have to be the big brother and father now, I have to care for my family like he does for you."

"Benjy didn't drop out of school, though."

"I have to!" He turned to look at her full-on for the first time, and her heart wrenched at the look of helpless, tear-stained fury on his face. He wasn't mad at her, but at the people who had thrown his life on its side. "You have money! You and Ben—my family doesn't! We never have, we hardly have anything to live on. I need to get a new house, food, clothes—they destroyed everything. I've got Healer bills because Ziggy managed to smash his hand into the door and bang it up, then a curse hit Auggy! _I have no choice._"

"You're not dropping out of school. Dumbledore won't let you. He'll work something out." She knew that blind faith was a bad thing, but so many people trusted Dumbledore to do the right thing, one more person couldn't hurt, right?

"I've already talked to him, Emmeline. But everything's falling apart—he can't waste his time on a few orphans."

"That doesn't sound like him."

"My family isn't the only one going through this right now. There were more attacks than just my parents. Dumbledore's a great man, but he can't change the world. And my siblings need me, Emmeline! I saw how Ben was with you and that's what Aug and Zig need, and I can't do that here. I can't be away from them, learning how to change a tortoise into a tea cozy while they need me… and there's no family that can take care of them while I'm at Hogwarts anyway." He stopped with a defeated sigh, his eyes downward. "Please let me say goodbye to this place on my own."

"Caradoc. Hey, Caradoc! Look at me." Emmeline stepped up close to him and grabbed his chin, turning his head to face her. He glared down into her eyes. "Now don't say anything, don't argue or say no. I know we're not great friends or have ever had a meaningful conversation before but tough. I have a house, I have money, I have Benjy. My house is yours, and Auggy and Ziggy's, if you'll stuff the Gryffindor pride and accept it. You can make a new home at the Tower with me and Benjy, and Benjy's there almost all the time anyway. He's got night duty at the office most often and loves kids. He's alone all the time there and I worry about him, truth be told. He doesn't like being alone. Plus, there's so many enchantments and wards on the property that it'd probably keep even Dumbledore himself out if I barred him access."

She paused, breathing hard because she'd said most of that without drawing breath. "If you give me three logical, well-reasoned explanations why this is impossible, I'll never push it again. But if you try giving me any hippogriff dung about not wanting to be a bother or not wanting to impose like that, I'll box your ears and then get Benjy to plead my case, and he can be even more persuasive than me." She glared right back at him mulishly.

Caradoc looked somewhat taken aback. Then he scowled. "I barely even know you. We've never talked all that much. Why on earth do you want to help me?"

She did as she threatened, smacking her open palms onto each side of his head. "That isn't a Gryffindor answer, I'll grant you, but it's worse. It's pathetic and makes me sound like a power-hungry, conniving Slytherin who wants something from you. You feel anything else stupid and pathetic welling up, so I can smack you now?"

"I can't ask Benjy to take care of the twins—" Caradoc started, to be ear-boxed by Emmeline again. "Stop that!"

"Then you stop it too. Stop the reasons, the chivalry, the idiotic prattle that you're coming out with. Stop it all. If you want me to stop hitting you, shut up and nod." She glared up at him, waiting for an answer.

"Why?" The word was cutting and sharp, and made Emmeline go silent for a moment.

When she spoke her voice was low and calm, but with an intensity that drew Caradoc's attention and held it. "Because I can. Because I know what it's like to be without parents. Because I have a house with too many empty rooms. Because I worry about Benjy, who's there almost all day and who doesn't like to be alone. Because I worry about the future. Because I have the money to support all of us and more, if need be. Because you need to continue your school education. Because your parents died so your family could live, and so did mine. Because everyone deserves a chance."

Caradoc said nothing, and Emmeline seemed to deflate. They were still looking at each other, but Emmeline dropped her hand from Caradoc's face, where she'd been forcing him to meet her eyes again. "Caradoc, please," she breathed. "Let me do this for you. You don't want to leave school. Auggy and Ziggy will be safe with Benjy, he's a fully qualified Auror that doesn't leave the house enough. I can support all of us with the money my parents left me, and you could do work around the Tower if you insisted on doing something in exchange. Please. _Please_."

Caradoc seemed to be going through a huge internal struggle, but at last he nodded and sighed. "All right. But I'm doing all the ground keeping, and repainting, and—and whatever else you need done."

Emmeline smiled up at him, then grabbed him into a quick hug. "Thank you," she whispered.

"What do you mean, thank me? You're the one who's…"

"No, I know. But thank you for accepting. Now come on, we need to go see Dumbledore."

"Why?" He asked as they turned around and left the Owlery.

"We need to tell him of the arrangements. And you'll need time off from school for… you know. I'll need a few days off to help you move into the Tower."

"Oh, right." They walked to Dumbledore's office. Emmeline waited outside while Caradoc went in, as she'd rarely come into contact with the Headmaster and was always slightly disconcerted when she did so. She didn't ask what he said, but he gave her a half smile and they walked back to Gryffindor Tower in an odd sort of silence, one that spoke of forced but not unwelcome companionship.

Once back in the Tower they parted ways, Emmeline walking up her own stairs to fall down on her bed and stare out the window, a small smile playing on her lips. She started to tuck her hair behind her ear and whimpered as she stabbed herself in the eye with an envelope. She looked at it curiously.

_Benjy Fenwick_ was written on the front and Emmeline shook her head gently, laughing at herself as she remembered her earlier complaints of dealing with James Potter. Suddenly it all seemed so superficial. She was worried about a date into Hogsmeade with a boy she didn't even fancy an hour ago, and suddenly her life was turned sideways again.

"Oh Merlin," she muttered to the letter, "I've got to stop doing things like this." Sighing, she opened the letter and scribbled on the back.

_Benjy, something happened and I sort of volunteered you for babysitting duty for the next year and a half. Caradoc Dearborn's parents were killed last night and I managed to convince him to live at the Sea Tower until he graduates Hogwarts, him and his little twin siblings, Augusta and Zacharias. They're seven… sorry I didn't ask you, but I know you're at the Tower almost all the time and I worry about you alone there. You're not a loner, Benjy. Anyway, we're coming to Tinworth tomorrow, and we'll be there around ten in the morning or so. You'll help me settle them in?_

_Again, love always and forever after,_

_Emmie_

_PS. This makes the front of the letter sound really pathetic, doesn't it?_

She spent the next hour avoiding people on her way back up to the Owlery, as she was way past curfew by that point, but she needed to send her letter off before she turned up at the Tower the next morning. And with any luck, Benjy would have the place presentable for their new guests.

She left very early from school that morning, taking the Knight Bus to St. Mungo's where Caradoc was signing out his siblings. He bit his lip and managed a shadow of a smile as he saw her, then Emmeline had a quiet word regarding the expenses with the Healer who had treated the twins' wounds. Once that was settled they stepped outside, Emmeline noticing that the twins were so frightened they wouldn't let go of Caradoc's hands. Benjy would be good for them, she knew.

Emmeline flagged down the Knight Bus again and breezed by the conductor, whom she'd seen not overly long ago. She gave him a generous tip to move them up the queue after seeing Ziggy's face blanch when the bus lurched forward the first time. Soon enough the bus had dropped them in the windswept town center of Tinworth, where flakes of snow were beginning to lazily drift down.

"Come on," Emmeline said with a glance at the sky. "We don't want to get caught out here in a blizzard. It's not too far a walk, maybe fifteen minutes." She offered a hand to Auggy, who took it shyly and gripped it with a ferocity that hurt Emmeline's heart. She recognized it as a grip she'd used on Benjy after her parents had died—the one that said the person was so exhausted emotionally and physically that they'd only believe something was there and alive if they could hold onto it.

Benjy met them at the end of the lane, waiting outside the locked gate. He greeted Caradoc quietly, with a handshake, and Emmeline spoke the words needed to allow the Dearborns entry. Benjy ushered the twins inside like he was frightened they'd catch a chill, and he reminded Emmeline of her mother so much that she had to smile a bit. "Come on, you two. Do you like hot cocoa and gingersnaps? They're fresh from the oven." He chattered away to them, seeming to know that they needed a voice to follow.

Caradoc hung his cloak on the rack once he'd entered. "He does like kids, doesn't he?"

Emmeline nodded. "We've been best friends since I was two, and he always took care of me. He's punched James Potter in the nose for me, made the Prewett twins scared enough to run up a tree for me, and when my parents died, he was the best big brother I could ever have had. You know how Fabian and Gideon joke about him being my protecting tiger? He gets like that. People at school saw him as the cool kid, but more than anything he loves protecting people and especially little kids. He's not going to let anything happen to Auggy and Ziggy."

"I didn't think he would, but…"

She raised a shrewd eyebrow at him. "It's hard seeing someone else take charge when you're supposed to be the responsible one in control of everything?"

Caradoc nodded as Emmeline helped him get the meager belongings of the last of the Dearborns up the stairs and onto the second floor, where there were three spare rooms and a bathroom. "The Vance family used to be really big," she explained as she deposited Auggy's backpack onto the bed and pushed open the curtains. "When the Sea Tower was built, that is. But now it's just me and Benjy here. You guys have this whole floor—there's a library on the fifth floor and an observatory on the seventh. You're welcome to anything here; the Vances have no secrets hidden in the Tower."

She quickly showed him the observatory and library she mentioned, then they went back downstairs to find Benjy finishing off hot cocoa with the twins. He looked up at Emmeline. "Hey Emmie. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure Benjy," she responded. To Caradoc she said, "I'll be back in a bit. Help yourself to whatever." He nodded and sat over on the couch with Auggy and Ziggy, and they snuggled into his chest as he put his arms around their shoulders, all three looking thoroughly overwhelmed and exhausted.

Benjy led the way into the broom shed, going via the door in the kitchen. He shut it quietly behind them, then spoke in a low voice. "Emmie, what happened? Your letter didn't tell me much. And I can practically smell St. Mungo's on them."

Emmeline sighed. "Caradoc's family was attacked two nights ago, and his parents were killed defending Auggy and Ziggy. He told me his parents used their last few seconds to cast spells to keep them safe, rather than flee themselves. They were still hurt, from what Caradoc didn't exactly say. Something about a door and a curse, I'm not sure. But St. Mungo's fixed them up."

"And why are they here? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind and I'd have done the same, but I've only heard you mention Caradoc Dearborn a few times. You're not great friends."

"No. But I went to the Owlery last night to post that letter and I saw him up there. We got into a conversation because I'm nosy and he let slip that he was going to have to drop out of Hogwarts, and… I couldn't take that."

"But how did you get him to agree? I wouldn't accept help like that—free room and board, a safe place for my little siblings, whatever—no matter how much I needed it. And Caradoc's a Gryffindor as well, and everyone knows we're too full of pride for our own good. Plus, you were insinuating that he couldn't take care of the twins properly. I'm surprised he didn't punch you."

"For one thing, no Gryffindor would hit a girl, it's unchivalrous. And I told him to stuff the Gryffindor pride or I'd box his ears, then get you to shout at him. He didn't say yes straight off, so I boxed his ears twice before he stopped being noble and asked me why. I… gave him a lot of reasons. He eventually agreed, and I'm grateful that he did." She stopped and shrugged. "You know I can't bear to stand by and watch as people have their lives torn into pieces around them."

"You've never been able to, Emmie," Benjy's voice sounded oddly gruff and he grabbed her into a hug. She leaned against him for a little while, then pulled back.

"Are you crying?"

"No." He had been, but he wasn't letting on. "I'm just so proud of you, little sister. You're a good person."

She blushed slightly, embarrassed. "So're you."

"Not like you. I see death and destruction every day in my job, but you actually do something about it."

"So do you! You're an Auror. You hunt down bad people and make them pay for what they've done."

"Well, yeah," he muttered. "I do the big stuff, bring revenge and all, but you… you don't let them win in the first place. Moody says upheaval of what we know is right causes fear and panic, but you're not letting that happen. Auggy and Ziggy will be okay, and Caradoc can finish school and get a good job because you told him he and his family were coming home with you or you'd smack sense into him."

"Stop talking like that, Benjy, you're making me sound like some kind of hero."

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "If you insist. Come on, let's go back inside. I've got more gingersnaps in the oven."

Emmeline left the morning two days after that, after ensuring that the Dearborn family was settled in and as comfortable as they could be, under the circumstances. She'd also remembered this time to write Alice, so when she walked into the Great Hall at breakfast her best friend wasn't annoyed with her.

"How are they?" Alice asked after hugging her. Lily leaned across the table, concern in her eyes.

"They'll be all right. Not yet, but Benjy's taking care of everything."

Lily smiled. "I wish I had a brother like that."

"Benjy is wonderful," Emmeline nodded. "What did I miss?"

"Not much," Mary said from down the table. "Christmas holidays are coming up, so the teachers aren't pushing too much stuff onto us. I assume you're going home for Christmas, Emm?"

Emmeline nodded again. "Benjy hates missing me for Christmas… or he would if we'd ever spent one apart. And I need to be there for Auggy and Ziggy."

"Who?"

"Caradoc's little twin siblings, Augusta and Zacharias. They're seven and terrified right now, but Benjy's taking care of them. So I didn't miss too much in classes?"

"I didn't know Caradoc was a big brother," Alice muttered, frowning slightly. "Well, McKinnons were never on the best terms with Dearborns. Anyway, you didn't miss hardly anything. And thank you for sending me a letter letting me know where you were."

"No problem." Emmeline crammed a piece of bacon into her mouth as the warning bell clanged overhead. "C'mon, we gorra go t'class," she muttered through it. Alice and Lily rolled their eyes.

The month of November passed too slowly for Emmeline, who was anxious for Christmas break to be home with Benjy and the twins, to help them have a good Christmas. She'd sent a letter to Benjy asking him to help her look for the perfect present for the two of them, and he'd set to the task with a will.

She'd all but forgotten about her date with James until he caught up to her in the halls, ruffling his hand through his hair as he and his friends formed a block into the Muggle Studies classroom. "We still on for Saturday, Emm?"

"Satur—_oh_. Yeah, we're still on. Meet me in the common room at ten, okay?" Emmeline instantly felt burning eyes on her, green eyes, but she ignored Lily's gaze with surprising doggedness. James grinned and nodded, shooting a quick look at Lily. Alice groaned and pushed past everyone into the Muggle Studies classroom with an audible whisper of "_Idiots._"

Emmeline woke early on Saturday. Lily had been regally cool to her after the discussion outside the Muggle Studies classroom and she bid Emmeline a brief farewell as the brunette walked out of their dorm after donning clothes warm enough for the cold December day. She was wearing a grey sweater and a red-striped golden scarf, and dark pants tucked into fleece-lined black leather boots charmed to keep her feet dry. She had a dark blue cloak snapped around her neck for more warmth.

James was waiting for her in the common room. She saw Remus, Sirius and Peter off to one side of the common room, Sirius snickering at something and sliding his eyes over to James every now and then. James ignored him and offered an arm to Emmeline. "Shall we?"

"Nice to know you were raised properly," Emmeline said, looping her hand around his elbow. "Of course, I do know that your mother would beat you soundly around the head with _Hogwarts, A History_ if you weren't polite to me."

James winced. "And then Benjy would tie me to a hippogriff's tail and smack its rump. How's he getting on with Fabian, by the way?"

That, more than anything else convinced Emmeline that this date was more revenge and proving something than anything romantic. She didn't say anything, however, beyond that Benjy was fine. They got a carriage and sat quietly in it as it trundled down the lane through thick snow that was falling. Once in Hogsmeade, they took shelter under an overhanging roof and looked at each other.

Emmeline spoke first. "Can we stop by the Quidditch shop? I need to get Auggy and Ziggy their Christmas presents—Benjy and I are getting them training brooms, because Benjy says he's sick of trying to chase them away from his Silver Arrow."

James grinned. "Emm, we can always go to the Quidditch store." He appeared to be thinking about something for a second, the bit his lip and asked, "Aren't Auggy and Ziggy Caradoc's little siblings?"

"Yes." So he didn't know. Emmeline wasn't going to come out and say it though, so she squinted through the snow and turned up the collar of her cloak against it.

"And they're living with Benjy?"

"Yes," Emmeline said again.

"Um…" James hesitated, ruffled his hair, then finished quickly. "Why?"

Emmeline sighed, then looked sidelong at James. "Because they needed a place to go. I've got spare rooms in the Sea Tower, and it's just Benjy who lives there."

"But I know Caradoc. He'd never accept something like that. He's too…"

"I told him to stuff the Gryffindor pride or I'd box his ears." She was starting to feel repetitive with this topic. "And I had to twice before he accepted, but now Benjy's playing almost-constant babysitter and loving it, Caradoc's finishing school and my house is going to be repainted over spring vacation."

James gave her a look somewhere between admiring and like he'd only seen her properly for the first time. "I… don't really know what to say. I had no idea. No one did. Does."

Emmeline sighed. "That's because Caradoc asked me not to tell. I told him there's nothing to be ashamed of, but he's a boy, and you lot have way too much pride for your own good. And honestly, Gryffindor boys are the worst of all. I wonder how they haven't died out from sheer pigheadedness before now."

James laughed. "We can't all snuff it, or there'd be no one left for the pretty Gryffindor girls."

"To complain about," Emmeline joked. "Or entertain us. Can you help me pick out a good training broom? I never had one growing up, because Benjy taught me how to fly on his broom."

"Of course. Come on; let's get out of this storm." They hurried inside the store, James pulling the door shut behind them against the wind and snow.

Emmeline was tugged enthusiastically over to the small training brooms on the wall, where James pointed out the qualities of almost every broom. "Now, this is the latest model of the broom I had when I was eight. Top speed is almost fifty miles an hour, but there's charms you can put on it to block the higher speeds, for safety. This one is a bit slower but it's steadier and has a built-in auto-brake which responds to screams, sweat on the palms of the rider and seat on the broom itself. And then there's this one…"

She bore his rant patiently for around a quarter of an hour, then took one off the wall. "I think this one for Ziggy. The… Starguider? I've got the Starchaser, and it's a good one for me as a Beater. Zig's a Beater-in-training, Benjy says. He thinks Auggy's a Seeker—which one is a fast broom that turns well but isn't too finicky to handle? They are just barely seven, though, so nothing too fast."

"Hmm, Seeker? Those are always the trickiest for find a young Seeker… the broom has to have enough weight to compensate…" James looked over the wall with a crease in his forehead. Then, with a sound of appreciation, he reached forward and grabbed a small but graceful-looking broom off the wall. "Here you go. The Lightningbolt. It's not strictly a training broom, but it's got the same principle."

Emmeline looked over the broom approvingly. "Ziggy might be a bit jealous, but I'll let Benjy deal with that. Anyway, Zig's got a bit more self-preservation instinct than Aug does, from what Benjy says."

She grabbed the other broom and led the way up to the counter, fumbling for her moneybag. She paid the total without a second look, and the owner of the shop looked very happy at having sold two rather expensive training brooms in one sale. He offered to have them shipped to her home and she addressed the packages quickly after sending a note to Benjy first to hide them before Auggy and Ziggy saw them.

James held the door for her as they went back out into the snow. "Come on," Emmeline suggested, teeth chattering. "Let's go get a butterbeer or something."

They rushed through the snowfall to the Three Broomsticks and got a tucked-away booth. "I don't want the guys to see us," James muttered with a look over to where his friends were sitting, Sirius laughing uproariously at something Remus was rolling his eyes about. "What do you want to drink? My treat."

"We _are_ on a date, after all," Emmeline commented archly. "And I'll just have a butterbeer, thanks."

James suddenly looked slightly guilty. "O-oh yeah. Be right back." She sighed as he walked away. She really needed to break it to him soon…

However, that plan was scrapped when he returned, set down two dark brown bottles, and leaned across the table and pressed his lips to hers. His mouth was soft and his breath wasn't bad, and on the whole Emmeline enjoyed it. She pulled back regretfully though, and placed a few fingers on his mouth when he tried to follow and kiss her again.

"James, no," she said gently.

He looked slightly put out. "Why? I asked you on a date—that involves snogging."

"Because you don't really like me. Oh sure, we're friends and all, but you like Lily, and I like Fabian. As I put it earlier to Alice—we're two desperate shmucks willing to go out with anyone and willing to pretend to be happy about it! It's sodding pathetic." She ended with a rueful laugh and grin at James.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm not desperate. Or pathetic. If I was I wouldn't have asked you out—I'd have gone for someone more in my league. You're bloody gorgeous, Emm."

Emmeline blushed. "James, you don't have to compliment me—I think it's safe to say that we're not actually on a date at this point."

"I'm not complimenting you because we're on—were on a date. You really are gorgeous. I thought… Merlin, this is embarrassing. I thought you'd make Lily the most jealous."

Emmeline put her face in her hands. "James, I'm going to let you in on a little secret of dealing with women. I'm going to whisper it in your ear. Lean close." He did so, looking curious. She smacked the back of his head and shouted right into his ear, "THAT NEVER WORKS! IT JUST MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE AN ARSE!"

That drew attention. Several curious faces looked around, not least Sirius, Peter and Remus. "Did you mess this date up too, Prongs?" Sirius called jovially.

"Shut it, Padfoot!" James barked back. He looked contritely at Emmeline. "You had to shout?"

She nodded. "Only way to get the idea through your thick head. And before you argue, any wizard who tries to make a witch jealous by asking out another witch does have a thick head. And you've certainly taken enough Bludgers to that dense head of yours to assure me."

"I guess you're right. So… how should I go about getting Lily to like me?"

"Can I give you another bit of womanly advice?"

"If it doesn't involve shouting, sure."

"You don't 'get' a girl to like you. We find that humiliating. I agree that she should go out with you, but all she knows of you is what she sees you do here at school. Prank, insult, hex, beat her in class, and so on. I know you can be better than that, I've seen flashes of it. Be a decent person, and you might have a better chance." She polished off a mouthful of butterbeer and raised an eyebrow at him.

James sighed but didn't comment beyond muttering, "That's what Moony keeps telling me to do." They finished their butterbeer and left the Three Broomsticks, going to a few shops to get Christmas presents before heading back up to the castle. Once back in her dorm, Emmeline wrapped her presents with short strokes of her wand, writing names on each as she did so.

Lily came in as she was charming a bag (or rather, attempting to charm a bag) to carry the presents back home in. "Here, let me," Lily said, taking the small green velvet bag from Emmeline and tapping it with her wand. "There. You'll be able to store all of them in that. How was your date?" She asked, seemingly casually.

"Fine," Emmeline said shortly, then she heaved a sigh and dropped all pretenses. "Lily, you know he only asked me out to make you jealous."

"Well, it didn't work. He's a prat and an idiot, and I'm not jealous."

"I never said you were."

"Emm…" Lily shook her head. "I'm sick of him chasing me!" She burst out. "Why can't he just leave me alone?"

Emmeline shrugged. "Why does the sun set in the west? He's James, that's what he does. What are your plans for the holidays?" She asked, rather eager to get off the redundant subject of James Potter.

Lily sat down on Emmeline's bed and helped her sort the presents to put into her bag. "Going home, avoiding my sister, maybe going to Alice's party. If I can get there."

Emmeline yawned. "I'll send Caradoc or Benjy to pick you up. You know James and his lot will be at the party."

"I know, but it's fun. And maybe I can prove to James I don't like him."

"Well, you know what Dumbledore says; hope springs eternal."

"That's a Muggle quote."

"Is it? I've only heard Dumbledore say it."

"Wait… you'll send Caradoc to get me?"

Emmeline nodded. "He's living with me and Benjy, along with his little siblings. I took them in after their parents died." She kept the story concise.

Lily grinned. "You would. Have you seen Alice? I just remember something I wanted to ask her."

"Nope. Check the common room… and I'm turning in early tonight. Not too hungry."

"All right, sleep well Emm." Lily left and closed the door behind her gently, leaving Emmeline with her thoughts. It wasn't that she didn't like James… at least not like that… it was just wrong. Sighing, she rolled over onto her bed and wormed her way under the covers, pointing her wand at the light and extinguishing it.

The next few days were a flurry of excitement for the students, as they all finished packing for home and break officially started. The train was crowded with students chattering excitedly about Christmas. Emmeline, Lily, Alice, Hestia and Mary claimed a compartment and sat inside it, squished and close together. Caradoc met her outside the train when it stopped and Apparated them to the point in Tinworth.

Emmeline bundled her arms up in her cloak. "I hope Benjy's got dinner in the oven."

"I still can't get over the fact that he cooks," Caradoc laughed, then coughed as snow flew into his mouth. He put an arm around Emmeline. "Come on, stay close. I don't want to get separated in the snow… he'd kill me if I lost you."

"Which he?" Emmeline joked, leaning close to the larger Caradoc. "Benjy or Fabian?"

"Both. You're guarded by scary men, Miss Vance."

"Makes it really hard to get another date, now that you mention it… are you going to the McKinnon's Christmas party?"

"I don't think so. Dearborns and McKinnons don't get along all that well." Caradoc waited for Emmeline to lift the enchantments on the gate and then held it open for her. They hurried up the lane and Emmeline knocked on the door, accompanying her pounding fist with a shout. "Benjy! Open the door before we freeze to death!"

With a rush of warmth the door creaked open and they were dragged inside by Auggy and Ziggy, who were much more animated than Emmeline had last seen them. "Doc!" They shouted, while Emmeline and Benjy laughed at the nickname and Caradoc looked faintly embarrassed. Benjy swept Emmeline up into a tight hug that she returned, distracting them both from Caradoc's blushing.

After the greetings were done with Benjy sent Auggy and Ziggy to wash their hands while Caradoc and Emmeline changed clothes before eating. They returned to find dinner steaming on the table, and for a time there was only the clinking of plates and Benjy's reminders to 'eat your vegetables' to the twins, which sent Emmeline into fits of giggles. He glared halfheartedly at her. "Well, vegetables are good for you," he defended himself.

"I know, remember how I always used to tell you to eat yours?"

He grinned at her. "Eat you veggies, Benjy. They's good for you." He quoted back at her, his voice high like a little girl's, in imitation of the young Emmeline.

Caradoc snickered and Emmeline hit him playfully with her napkin. "Shut it, you. I was a cute little girl."

"You still are," Caradoc said lowly, looking sidelong at her rather suggestively.

"OI!" Benjy shouted across the table at them. "None of that, now!"

"None of what?" Emmeline asked innocently, laying a gentle hand on Caradoc's arm. "We're not doing anything… yet." She sent the other teenager a glowing look, batting her lashes and making sure Benjy saw.

"Stop it! Stop that right now! You'll give the kids bad ideas!" Benjy threw his fork over the table and smacked Emmeline's fingers with it, causing her to glare at him and jerk her fingers off Caradoc's arm.

"Benjy, you're an—you're mean." She changed her words last minute, remembering that there were indeed young people in the room. The twins in question were laughing, and Auggy suggested that Emmeline throw the fork back at Benjy. Emmeline snickered and told Auggy that she'd get Benjy back later.

They sat in front of the crackling fire after dinner was polished off and the dishes were washed. Benjy left for a moment and came back with steaming mugs of cider for the twins and a bottle of wine and three glasses for the older people. Emmeline raised an eyebrow at him. "Aren't you supposed to be responsible and not let me drink that? You and Caradoc might be of age but I'm not."

Benjy shrugged. "So you might as well get a taste for it now, while we're here in a safe, controlled place. I can always dump you in your bed if you pass out." He poured out the wine and passed it around. "To vacation!" he called, clinking his glass with the others.

Emmeline took a slight sip after they toasted. The wine was warm beyond physical heat, filling her with a settled, contented feeling. "It's good," she commented to no one.

"It's heartwine, well diluted," Benjy said.

Caradoc whistled approvingly. "I thought it was. How'd you get a hold of it?" His hand was absently stroking Auggy's hair as she drifted off to sleep leaning against him.

Benjy grinned. "I'm a rogue of an Auror with contacts and no conscience."

Emmeline snorted, but managed to keep from spraying her wine across the room. Benjy rolled his eyes. "We better get the little ones up to bed, Caradoc. I'll take Zig… Emmie, make yourself useful and refill the glasses."

Once Caradoc and Benjy returned Emmeline had the glasses filled and ready for another round. As she handed Benjy his, she said, "I've been thinking lately, and I've actually been wanting to ask you a few questions. I didn't know how to phrase it in a letter. Two years ago when I was home for Christmas with Lily you mentioned it but never elaborated. You said purebloods were worrying about something, or someone, the person who ordered the attack on Tinworth three years ago. And more recently…"

Benjy's face had been darkening. "I suppose it'd be wrong to keep this from you, no matter how much I want to protect you. But it's better if you know." He downed half of his wine and looked into the fire. "Both of you won't have heard much about this, as they're keeping it pretty hushed up in the news, especially around school kids. And I wouldn't even know so much if it wasn't for… anyway. Don't wonder too much about the pureblood thing anymore, Emmie. It's Muggle-borns and the big blood-traitor families they're after now."

"Who're after?" Caradoc cut in.

"The people who attacked your family and killed both your parents and Emmie's," Benjy said bleakly. "They call themselves Death Eaters and follow… well, You-Know-Who. We're trying not to say his name at the office because so many people have been affected by him, it causes fear. They're blood fanatics, mostly old families like the Blacks and Malfoys and the Lestranges, they're big in it. The MacNairs too, and the Carrows. Oh, we can't prove anything, but everything points to it." He stopped and ran his hand over his face tiredly.

"I mean, we're trying. But we can't pin anything down because these Death Eaters are in once place, wreak havoc, then vanish. They leave a mark in the sky, a great green skull with a serpent coming out of its mouth when they've killed someone. There's rumors of a giant or three on their side, and dementors."

Caradoc was quiet as he asked, "So it's really that bad?"

Benjy nodded glumly. "The Auror office and the Ministry are trying to suppress all the things that are happening so the populace doesn't panic. We're having mixed success, but the _Prophet's_ helped by not printing huge headlines about Ministry failure to protect the general population, which is nice. Even so… it's a madhouse at work. I have to leave pretty soon, I'm still on the night shift."

"You have to work?" Emmeline asked, subdued.

"I'm sorry, Emmie, but things are getting out of control. They need all hands on deck. I've been having to go in earlier and earlier as well, and stay until around nine in the morning. Thank Merlin the twins are heavy sleepers." He sent a weary grin at Caradoc and stood up. "I should go. I'll be back soon after dawn."

Emmeline stood as well, stumbling slightly from the change in height and the wine going to her head. Benjy caught her by the arm and smirked at her. "Little tipsy, Emmie? Get some sleep."

"Be careful, Benjy," Emmeline said, hugging him tightly as he donned a traveling cloak and laid his hand on the door.

With a kiss on her forehead he replied, "Always am, little sister. Sleep well, I'll see you tomorrow."

Emmeline watched him leave through the snow encrusted window, a lone shape against the storm. "He'll be fine," Caradoc said bracingly.

"I know," she said shortly. "I'm going up to sleep… see you in the morning."

"Night Emm."

True to his word, Benjy was home by the next morning, although Emmeline was waiting for him at the table. He looked down at her with a mixture of love and exasperation. "Don't tell me you've been waiting up all night, Emmie."

"I haven't been waiting up all night."

"Are you saying that just to placate me, or did you actually sleep?"

"I actually slept. I didn't know you had to work every night, though."

Benjy sighed and set down his paperwork on the table. "Most nights. I get a day off here and there, but weekends don't mean all that much anymore."

"So it's really that bad?" She asked quietly as Benjy set about making breakfast. "You know, I can help you with that."

He grinned. "I prefer not to be poisoned, thanks all the same. And it's not that bad… yet. Moody tells me that I'll know when things get bad because I'll be on day duty as well. I don't know what'll happen with Auggy and Ziggy then… it works out well right now because I can be home with them in the day and they're not any trouble, but if I'm set to day duty as well then I just don't know."

"We'll deal with that if it happens. When do you sleep?"

"The twins are pretty good about keeping quiet around three, even now that the weather's turned horrible. They stay in the library or try and make cookies to surprise me with later, and they do manage to entertain themselves. I catch enough sleep, so don't start mothering me."

Emmeline sighed. "I worry about you, you know. Less now that the twins are here, but you're not a loner, Benjy."

"Never said I was. And I won't pretend that I'm not grateful to have Auggy and Zig here… this place gets empty when you're here alone. But can we talk about something else? You and Caradoc are here, and work depresses me lately."

"How's Mirabella?"

Benjy smirked. "There's a change in topic. We're fine, thanks for asking. Broke up last month, but we're still friends. Maybe I'll meet someone new at the Christmas party this year… seems to be a magic place for romance."

Emmeline giggled as Caradoc came down the stairs, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Morning Doc. Did you sleep well?"

He gave her a glare. "Don't call me Doc or I'll start calling you Liney. I slept fine, you?"

"Like a log. Benjy, do I smell bacon for breakfast?"

"Yep." He expertly shuffled the pan around, then balanced it on the end of his wand which was emitting bluey-golden flames.

"Show off," Emmeline said idly. Benjy winked, then flicked his wand at the pan which soared over and deposited bacon onto each of the plates as the charmed toaster went off and several pieces of fruit ended up circling around Emmeline's head like a strange, orbiting halo. "Oh, stop that. I'll be able to do magic in two years, you'll see…"

"I can hardly wait, Emmie. Caradoc, you want anything else for breakfast? The twins probably won't put in an appearance until around ten or so."

Caradoc shook his head and Benjy sat down as Emmeline poured out juice and they ate quietly. The twins came down earlier than Benjy had expected, so he made them breakfast as well and then Caradoc washed the dishes. Benjy stretched and looked around after the dishes were away and blinked owlishly. "So, do we have any plans for today?"

"I wanted to go into town," Emmeline said. "Diagon Alley preferably. I need a new dress for Alice's party. Benjy, you should come with me… you need new robes too."

"I do not."

"You do so. Unless you have new ones I don't know about, you haven't had any new ones in five years."

"I haven't needed any new ones!"

"You do if I say you do. You're coming with me."

Benjy seemed to catch onto her plan a bit sooner than she'd given him credit for. "Fine then," he muttered, still playing the annoyed male forced into shopping. "Aug, Zig… why don't you show Caradoc around the Tower while we're gone? Or you could all go into town."

Auggy nodded. "We'll take Doc into Tinworth… he hasn't been."

Emmeline looked sideways at her friend. "Have you even been into an all-wizard community, Caradoc?"

"We didn't grow up in one, but I've been to Diagon Alley."

Emmeline smiled. "It's a bit different. Benjy, I'm going to go get changed and I'll be ready in about half an hour or so, is that okay?"

"Sounds fine, Emmie. Do we need to stop by Gringotts?"

"I don't think so. But you need to get me a Christmas present, so maybe we do…" she teased him.

"I've already got your present, Emmie… do you have mine?"

"Of course!" Emmeline groaned inside. She didn't know what to get Benjy, but she knew she had to figure it out soon. "What do you take me for?" She called back as she circled up the spiral stairs, up six flights to the sixth floor.

Throwing wide her wardrobe, she looked through her robes. Dark blue suited her today, the ones Benjy particularly growled over because of the cut. She rebound her hair into a tighter, more elaborate braid that formed a ring of hair on the back of her head, setting it with a deep indigo ribbon that match her robes. The black boots she'd worn on her date with James also put in an appearance, as did a Gryffindor scarf to show her House loyalty even outside of school.

She met Benjy downstairs and he, predictably, glared over her robes but then said, "Lose the scarf, Emmie."

"What? Why?"

"Remember what I was telling you last night? Death Eaters and You-Know-Who sympathizers don't like Gryffindor colors."

"Well, we're not planning to run into any, are we?"

"No, but you never know. Constant vigilance, that's what Moody says. Leave the scarf here, and we'll go."

"Fine," Emmeline sighed, going back upstairs to fetch a grey scarf instead, and a set of matching gloves. She returned, panting slightly from the bulk and warmth of her clothes. "Better?"

"Nice neutral grey. All right, then." Benjy held the door open for her and they called farewells to the Dearborns, looking back through the window as Auggy and Ziggy waved. "Remember when you used to do that for me?" he asked, waving back through the light snowfall.

"I did it last night, Benjy."

"I guess you did… but you seemed so young in my memories."

"You're just getting old."

"Oi, I am not! I'm not quite twenty-one—that's _not_ old."

She punched his bicep playfully, then snuggled under his arm so it was resting across her shoulders. "Nope. But you are old enough to hold your tongue about my new dress, all right?"

"I will do no such thing. If it's too revealing you're not getting it, end of discussion."

"Oh, shut up. Who says you're even allowed into the store with me? I might just make you go entertain yourself while I shop, how's that?"

"You'd never. Now hush so I can concentrate on Apparating us." They stopped and turned into darkness, appearing outside the run-down Leaky Cauldron in the shelter of Muggle-repelling spells. Benjy led the way through the old inn, greeting people he knew while gently guiding Emmeline along. He opened the way into the Alley with a well-placed series of taps from his wand and let Emmeline go first through the archway.

Diagon Alley was covered in snow, though the drifts weren't as deep as in Tinworth. The streets were charmed clear in front of the shops by well-intentioned shopkeepers, although the charms needed renewing too often for it to be effective. "Come on," Emmeline said to Benjy, blinking around in the snow. "I need my dress!"

"Patience is a virtue, you know."

"So is feeling pretty. Hurry up!" She tugged him into Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, then let him go and hurried back to the dress robes and dresses. "Benjy! Don't forget you need new dress robes too!"

He nodded and rolled his eyes while Emmeline looked around, pulling out five or six dresses with the help of an attendant. A few hours later Benjy was bored, carrying his bag from the shop while Emmeline paid for her dress. "For the last time, Benjy, you may not see it! You'd make me put it back… or you'd try to. Anyway, what are you so worried about? I'm single right now."

"It's the 'right now' I don't like," he grumbled. Changing the subject, he said, "Those training brooms are perfect for Aug and Zig. I didn't know you were so knowledgeable about brooms for young people, because you never had one."

"Well, I'm still of the opinion that learning how to fly with someone else directing the broom is the best, but I also know that you're sick of chasing away the twins from the Silver Arrow. And James helped me, when we were out on our date."

"How'd that go, anyway?"

"What, you don't have the urge to pound him into a flobberworm's supper because he so much as deigned to look at me?"

"You're not dating him, are you?"

"No, of course not. He likes Lily, like I said."

"Do you still like Fabian?" Benjy's voice was gruff and he seemed to deliberately not look at her, instead squinting through the snow.

Emmeline sighed. "Yes. But we're just friends now, and maybe that's better. We haven't talked hardly at all."

"Do you want to get back together with him?"

"So you can start plotting to kill him? I don't know. I'd like to, I think there's something just… just right about us together, but I'm not going to force him."

"Well, I'm not going to pretend I'm not happy about that. But when he realizes what he's missing, he'll be sorry."

Emmeline stopped, only halfway faking shock. "I don't believe it! You, Benjamin Fenwick, are actually saying a guy—that is, a person of the opposite gender—should date me?"

"Oh, shut up." He ruffled her hair good-naturedly, then pulled up her hood. "You'll catch your death if you don't stay bundled up. We should get home anyway, unless you want to stop anywhere? Visit friends? I am here to serve you, my lady."

Emmeline rolled her eyes. "Actually, would you mind terribly if we stopped at Lily's house? I need to see if she can go to the Christmas party because she needs you to help her get there if she can. And I don't want to send out Arrow in this weather."

Benjy nodded and turned them into the darkness of Apparation before they'd taken another step. They appeared on the edge of an industrial-looking place, with smokestacks in the middle distance. Emmeline led the way to Lily's house, remembering the address from the owl post letters she'd sent before. The house was white and trim, a very neat-looking place with a festive wreath hung over the door and a red bow on the knocker.

Emmeline knocked against the door, waiting for the bow to sing or dance or do something magical, but nothing happened. She heard a shout inside the house and then the lock clicked back to reveal Lily Evans. She blinked then lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Emmeline's neck, causing the dark-haired girl to stagger back slightly. Benjy caught her, laughing. "Emm!" Lily cried. "Am I glad to see you! Come on in—oh, hi Ben."

"Hey Lily," Benjy grinned.

"Come on in," Lily said, stepping back and releasing Emmeline from her chokehold. "Sorry about the greeting—my sister's driving me crazy."

Emmeline and Benjy had never been inside a Muggle house, and their eyes were wide as they looked around the place. It seemed like a Christmas shop had emptied its entire stock into the Evans' household—everywhere Emmeline looked there were decorations. Lily ushered them into the kitchen where a kindly-looking woman with graying auburn hair was baking something. "Mum, this is Emmeline Vance and Benjamin Fenwick. Emm's in my year at school, and Ben graduated a few years ago. Ben, Emm—this is my mother, Anna Evans."

Benjy took Mrs. Evans' hand and kissed it after Emmeline finished shaking hands with the older woman. "It's a pleasure, Mrs. Evans."

The older woman laughed. "Please, call me Anna. It's lovely to meet some of Lily's friends at last—but she didn't tell me you were coming over."

"Sorry, Mrs. Evans, that's my fault," Emmeline apologized. "Alice McKinnon invited Lily and Benjy and me to her Christmas Eve party, only Lily would need Benjy to take her because she can't Apparate there on her own, and we were in Diagon Alley anyway so we decided to stop by."

Mrs. Evans looked like she'd barely caught a word of that, but nodded anyway. "Anna, please. Of course you can go to the party, dear—it'll be on Friday then, won't it? Can I get you two anything? Lily and Petunia and I were just about to make hot cocoa… where did your sister go, Lily?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "You know she hates me now, Mum."

"She doesn't hate you, you two just… just don't have much in common any more. Enough of that. Cocoa, you two?"

"That'd be lovely, Mrs. Evans," Benjy said with a grin, taking a seat at a gleaming wooden table. Emmeline murmured agreement as Mrs. Evans passed out the cocoa and sat down as well.

"So, what's it like being a witch and wizard?"

Benjy and Emmeline exchange glances, then she shrugged. "You can deal with that question, Benjy," Emmeline said.

He glared at her. "So loyal, little sister." He sighed and tsked at her, then started talking to Mrs. Evans, who looked fascinated over the next few hours as she continued to pour them cocoa. Eventually Benjy and Emmeline left, promising to come over long before the party to speak with Mrs. Evans again and meet Mr. Evans, who was off at work.

The day of the party Emmeline donned her longest cloak and fastened it tightly at her throat to attempt and dissuade Benjy from inquiring about decency. They bid farewell to the Dearborns and stepped out into the snow, Benjy Apparating to Lily's house where they were quickly hustled inside by Mrs. Evans.

Lily groaned and did the classic teenage impatient look as her mother served cookies, doing her level best to get out of there quickly. Her sister looked on in distaste at Emmeline's cloak and Benjy's dress robes, to which Benjy grinned and made the salt and pepper shakers on the table tap dance. Lily ended up shoving her friends to the door and back into the snow, her mother waving at them as they left.

Benjy Apparated them quickly to the McKinnon Castle, decorated as per usual for the huge party. They caught a reindeer sleigh and entered the castle in a rush of heat from the great front doors. An enchanted coat rack floated over and they removed the garments, Benjy letting out an unpleased sound at the cut of Emmeline's dress, a deep V-neck with a slit about halfway up her thigh, the dark blue contrasting sharply with her creamy white leg. She grinned at him and took off into the crowd with Lily, where they found Alice.

"Emm!" Her best friend shouted. "Sorry I didn't greet you at the door… but look who I've got here, Emm!" Alice gave a Cheshire smile and seemed to pull Fabian Prewett out of thin air. "C'mon Lily, let's leave these two to have a _conversation_, shall we? Upstairs and to the right, last door on the first hallway, there's an empty room, lovebirds. It's got a great view. Wonderful for watching the fireworks, eh?" Alice gave a broad wink and dragged Lily away, leaving Emmeline and Fabian to stand awkwardly together.

Emmeline bit her lip, not having talked with Fabian in some time. He shifted his foot, scuffing it along the ground, then grabbed her arm and tugged it gently, leading her up the stairs. He closed the door softly behind them and Emmeline looked out the windows. "Nice countryside."

"Stop the bullshit, Emmeline."

"Since when have you called me Emmeline?"

"Since when have you cared what people call you?"

Emmeline sighed and rubbed a hand against her face. "Stop the bullshit, Fabian," she said somewhat mockingly. Then she slumped down against the window, resting her forehead against the cold glass. "Don't make me deal with this on Christmas Eve."

"You think it's been fun for me? Seeing you every day, but not being able to touch you—" Fabian cut himself off, jerking his head to the side in an annoyed manner. Guys didn't say things like that, so he hurried on. "Why? Why did you leave me?"

"I didn't leave you! I'd never leave you, Fabian… we just drifted apart."

"Oh, is that what girls call it?" He scowled at her.

"I didn't want to end it! I—"

With a curse and a sudden burst of movement, Fabian crossed the room and pressed his lips down to hers, crushing her to him as his arms wrapped around her back and his hand held her close and tight against him. She responded with equal enthusiasm as fireworks lit the skies in celebration of the holiday.

* * *

Okay, my few readers, I'm doing NaNoWriMo for the third time this November, so my next update will probably be in a few weeks. I've got about a third of the sixth chapter written, but... yeah. Anyway, drop a review because it makes me feel loved and persuades me to set aside other important things like college applications and chemistry homework. Not that it's hard to set aside such things, it just gives me a justified reason to. So leave a review? Please?


	6. A Song and a Gift

Hey guys... I'm not too happy with how this chapter turned out, but between sickness, holiday madness, and so on, we can just deal, eh?

* * *

"Come off it, Benjy," Emmeline groaned, laying out sets of robes on her bed in the Tower while Benjy stood at the door with his arms folded. "I'm going to Hogwarts this year… why are you suggesting I don't?"

Benjy sighed. "We've got rumors. It's just not going to be a good year."

"But I'll be at Hogwarts, with Dumbledore. You-Know-Who wouldn't dare cross him, everyone knows that. The school's the safest place now." Emmeline shook her head, almost pleadingly. "Don't tell me not to go. We both know I won't obey you. And if I stay behind, you know Caradoc won't go back, and there's no way he'd become an Auror without NEWTs."

"I know you'll go whatever I say. But Emmie… be careful. No place is safe now, not even with Dumbledore."

"I'll always be careful, Benjy." She gave him a soft smile and stood, resuming her packing. "Will you see me and Caradoc off tomorrow?"

"Of course. When you're through come downstairs—Auggy and Zig want a Quidditch game, and you need to at least get one practice in before you go back."

She nodded, folding a robe and placing it in the trunk. "I'll be down in a bit."

The next day was only mildly frantic, as it was only Caradoc and Emmeline who were going to school and they'd both packed the night before. They had a leisurely breakfast and then Apparated to the station, Emmeline traveling with Benjy and the twins with Caradoc. The station was hectic, as it always was, but they got through the barrier without any problems.

Benjy handed Emmeline back her trunk, having shrunk it down to fit in his pocket. "I've got it timed to expand when you reach the station in Hogsmeade, so make sure it's out of your pocket by then."

"Thanks Benjy."

"No problem, little sister. Can't have you mussing up that pretty hair of yours, or getting all sweaty and nasty before the feast."

"I'll miss you. Take good care of the twins, all right?"

"I always do." He leaned down slightly and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. "Keep out of trouble."

"I will. Don't get hurt on the job, Benjy… I don't think I can get by without you." Her voice was lighthearted and mildly teasing, but there was a serious undertone.

"You'd be fine without me. Now come on, don't miss the train." The whistle was blowing as students hurried aboard. "Love you, Emmie!"

"Love you too Benjy, always and forever!" She waved farewell to the twins as well, blowing them a kiss. Turning around, she fought her way along the corridor packed with students, grateful she didn't have to bother dragging a trunk along as well. She found a compartment with Alice already in it and sat down after stowing her tiny trunk in the luggage rack above.

"Hey Emm. How was your summer?"

"Not bad, I was at Lily's place for a few weeks. Muggles are crazy, you know?"

"I can't imagine. She's off being the responsible prefect that she is, said she'd be by later. If the train doesn't blow up first."

Emmeline made a quizzical noise, narrowing her eyes slightly.

"I saw Sirius, James, Remus and Peter pass by here a few minutes before you came along. Sirius was cackling and James was looking shifty, Remus rolling his eyes and Peter looked too excited for his own good. Something's going to happen, so I'm not setting foot outside this compartment until we get to Hogwarts."

"Sounds like a good plan." They chatted about their summers for the next few hours as the sky darkened and rain lashed against the windows in a sudden downpour that lasted until they reached the village. Alice shot her wand upwards and a sparkling, liquid silver sheet erupted from the tip and floated over their heads.

Alice frowned up at it, then shrugged. "Gideon can make it transparent… Ah well. This'll do the trick. Have you seen—oi, Lily! Over here!" Alice waved over her friend, who had Mary MacDonald in tow as they caught a carriage, Alice's magical umbrella shielding them up to the doors.

They watched the Sorting impatiently, Lily glaring over at the sixth year boys more often than not. Emmeline eventually got sick of it and asked her friend in a hiss, "Would you either stop ogling James or tell me why you suddenly find him so attractive?"

Lily turned a haughty glare back. "I am not ogling him, he was being an arse on the train!"

"Oh really? What'd he do?" Emmeline tuned out as Lily started ranting in a whisper about James, something involving Dungbombs, the prefects' compartment, a _mimbulus_ _mimbultonia_ (whatever that was, she wasn't that great in Herbology) and the seats in the compartment. Emmeline completely lost her friend when food appeared on the plates and they all tucked in happily.

Alice, Mary and Emmeline led a sleepy procession up to the Gryffindor Tower after the feast, glad to find the beds all turned down and ready for sleep. They dragged Lily away from her prefect duties and hauled her up the stairs, falling down to sleep almost the moment they laid down.

The next morning dawned dismal and rainy again, and there was some lighthearted complaining about it. The sixth year Gryffindors started off with Charms, which Emmeline was determined not to fail that year. The girls were chattering impatiently and somewhat nervously about the classes beforehand—they'd all gotten into the NEWT classes of their choices, but there was a difference between getting in and passing. However, Flitwick was a cheerful as ever, even though he stressed that the classes would be harder. Emmeline stifled a groan.

A new teacher in Defense Against the Dark Arts greeted them with a cheery smile, seeming entirely too happy for a teacher of defense, at least according to the Gryffindors' general opinion of the woman.

"We've always got a new professor," Lily complained over dinner.

"That's because the job's cursed," Alice put in sagely, stabbing her fork into her potatoes.

"Cursed?" Remus asked from down the table. His other friends looked around as well, James nodding in agreement with Alice's words.

"That's what Marlene says. Every since… oh, twenty years ago or so, there's never been a teacher that lasted more than a year. She told me about the one in her first year, Professor Derny, who didn't even last until Christmas break. Something about a vampire on Halloween… anyway, it's no surprise. Look what job it is!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Peter asked around a mouthful of pork.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts? There's a reason for danger and the like… but something like History of Magic or Arithmancy? Not as much." Lily explained.

James leaned back and cracked his knuckles. "That's pretty much what my dad says too. Anyway, you going out for Quidditch this year, Emm?"

"Of course. You're captain, right?"

He flashed his badge. "Who's surprised?" Giving her a suave grin, he reached for a plate of carrots and dumped some on his plate.

Lily groaned. "Let's get out of here, Alice, Emm, Mary. Potter's ego is threatening to overwhelm the table again."

Emmeline rolled her eyes at her friend. "You go, Lily. I've got more to talk about with James. I'll see you later." Her friends waved and she settled back in, returning to her conversation about Quidditch with the boys. "So, James, when're tryouts?"

"I was thinking this weekend, to get a jump on the other houses. Can you be ready by then?"

Emmeline stood with a toss of her head. Loftily, she said, "I was born ready." She gave a joking smile to the others and walked away, headed to the library.

That Saturday morning was bright and clear, a difference from the past days of rain and wind. It wasn't warm but Emmeline was grateful for it—flying got hot after a while, especially in heavy robes and her Beaters' armor. She'd strapped on the shinguards and armguards snugly, having Alice help her with the leather guards for her shoulders and back. The leather was well worn and supple from Emmeline oiling it weekly. The armguards had been Benjy's, the only part of his old armor that fit her. However, all of it was falling apart now and she rolled her eyes as she used a charm to stick the leather together. She'd have to replace it soon…

She took to the pitch in a quick kick off, feeling the broom kick up in speed as she urged it forward. There were other fliers there as well—she recognized James already soaring around the goalposts. Jessa McKinnon, a cousin of Alice's in her fourth year was there as well, her dark auburn hair streaming out behind her as she ducked and wove, juggling a Quaffle in her hands and darting glances over at James to see if he was watching. Emmeline didn't know if that was because she wanted to be back on the team that year, or it was because she fancied James Potter.

"All right, all right!" James shouted, waving the players down. "Get down here, you lot. You're all pretty talented up there, and I notice there aren't many new faces."

"Maybe that's because it's seven in the damn morning, Potter," Emmeline growled good-naturedly.

"Stop complaining, Emm. Good, clean air, it's healthy for you. Now come on, up into the air. Beaters, if I get hit by a single Bludger, I'm going to throw you all out. Keepers, up two at a time, on each set of hoops. If a Chaser scores, you're in trouble. Chasers, groups of three, I'm going to watch you work. Let's go, people!" James kicked off and the team did likewise, with a few muttered complaints.

The tryouts went well and there was only one new addition to the team, the young and talented third-year Graden Greengrass. He played the other Beater, and so Emmeline helped him draw armor from the extras in the locker room. "So, Graden… do you have a nickname?"

"Not really. It's not acceptable in my family."

"Greengrass… you pulled a Sirius, right?" Emmeline pulled out a smaller set of armguards. "Try these on. The armor's got to be comfortable, or you'll have a hell of a time out there on the field. I'd suggest getting your own, actually. I need some new gear, myself."

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. My family isn't as renowned as the Blacks, and we're not as notorious either, but they weren't happy. I didn't get a Howler and I wasn't disowned, though."

Emmeline stilled. "Sorry, what?"

Graden bit his lip and looked at her with wary, somewhat sheepish blue eyes. "He didn't want it spread about, but Dark families can't keep their secrets among equals, you know? It happened this summer. The Blacks have a tapestry and he was blasted off, which is pretty much disowning among them. Crazy family."

"Where did he go?"

"To the Potters' house, apparently. The Blacks couldn't stand the shame, so they let him go. Do these look okay?"

"Yeah, the armguards are fine—toss them over there, and come here and try on these shoulder guards. You tighten them like this… So Sirius is disowned?"

"Maybe not officially, but it's been all my family can talk about all summer. Bloody boring. Then they say 'Well, Graden's got some ideas… we'll have to keep an eye on him, to keep him from going wrong.' I'm sick of it." He spoke lightheartedly, but Emmeline could hear an underlying tightness in his voice.

"I'll just have to keep an eye on you as well, to keep you from going wrong then, Grey. Can I call you that?"

She saw a little smile on his face as they gathered up the guards and traipsed out of the locker rooms. "Sure, I guess," he said. She slung a companionable arm around his shoulders and dragged him into the castle, back up to Gryffindor tower. "Call me Emm, kid. Welcome to James Potter's madhouse."

About a month later Emmeline was coming back from Quidditch practice and chatting with Graden. "So, if you keep your bat about elbow height when you're level with the Chasers they'll see it and not go crashing into it. I taught James to keep a watch for Beaters that way, back a few years. He keeps an eye out now, but they forget sometimes. Oh, hey Remus!"

The sixth year boy was standing outside the portrait hole, looking a bit nervous. "Hey Emmeline. Can I have a word?"

"Sure. I'll see you later, Grey!"

"Night Emm. Have fun!" The third-year called wickedly with a wave of his fingers. Emmeline made a rude gesture of her own after his retreating back.

"Stupid kid," She grumbled good-naturedly. "Anyway, Remus, what's up?"

"Um, I have to patrol tonight and I had some problems with a group of Slytherins earlier, so I don't want to go alone."

"Why not ask your posse?"

"I want to deal with them gently, not send them to the hospital wing in a box and a few vials."

"And Lily?"

"She's panicking about her Ancient Runes test tomorrow—I went over there to ask and she nearly hexed me. Please?"

"Alright, fine… if you don't mind me smelling a bit from Quidditch. Your friend Potter is an arse sometimes, you know?"

"Don't you normally call him James?"

"Not when he drives us into the ground at practice. What do we do on patrol, anyway?"

Remus shrugged. "Mostly just walk around the halls and hand out detentions when we catch people out of their common rooms."

"Sounds bloody boring. No offense or anything, though."

Remus laughed, leading the way up a set of stairs. "None taken. Actually, I don't think many people will be out tonight. My 'posse,' as you call them, is working on something, I don't think I want to know what. The Slytherins are the only people I'm worried about, in all honesty."

"Excellent," Emmeline said. She looked sheepish as her stomach growled. "Sorry. I'm hungry."

Remus grinned over and down a bit at her in an expression she'd rarely seen on his face, if ever, a sort of mischievous smirk. "Would you like to go to the kitchens?"

"We're not allowed to do that, are we? And I don't even know where the kitchens are."

"Of course we're not allowed to do that. But I know there they are, and please realize that if I walked around with a girl for a few hours while she was hungry and my mother caught wind of it, I would be beaten around the head with her frying pan for being an uncaring, insensitive prat. Come on." He ducked behind a curtain and Emmeline followed, curious.

They went down stairs and through a few passageways Emmeline didn't even know existed before then, and ended up standing before a portrait of fruit. Remus reached out and tickled the pear while Emmeline looked at him like he was crazy, and then a door handle appeared. He turned it and opened the portrait, leading her into a spacious, warm room the size of the Great Hall above. There were four tables just like the house tables, which Remus motioned her to sit at.

A group of house-elves had descended and were greeting Remus and Emmeline with great enthusiasm. The Vances had lost their house elf lineage after the last had been ordered off with Loxias when he started his rampage on the south of England. As such, Emmeline hadn't ever really had much experience with the creatures, but they brought her a plate of pork and rice quickly, cooked to perfection.

"Oh, Merlin," Emmeline breathed at the sight of the plate borne forward on willing house-elf hands. "Talk about service…"

Remus laughed. "Go on, eat up. May I have a cocoa, please?" He asked politely, to much squeaking agreement. They sat there as Emmeline finished her meal and Remus sipped his hot chocolate contentedly. "Emmeline," Remus started as they headed out with much thanks to the elves. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"I don't quite know how to phrase this, but…" He trailed off.

"Remus, I know."

"Know?"

Emmeline sighed and stopped leaning up against a wall and looking at him, meeting his pleasant amber eyes with her own, surprisingly serious dark ones. "About your… what is it James calls it? Furry little problem?"

He blanched, then swallowed hard. Emmeline could see his Adam's apple bobbing as he turned away. "Sorry?"

"Remus, most of the people in our house and year know. Or at least have suspicions. None of us are going to say anything, though, so don't worry."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come on, don't do this. You've only got a problem once a month, and no one's ever been hurt because of it. Trust me, if they had, everyone really would know."

"How'd you find out?" He didn't seem to be trying to dissuade her, which Emmeline appreciated, but he seemed more resigned and slightly afraid.

"I guessed. Lily worked it out a few years ago, she said, and Alice and I guessed together. Look, I'm not going to tell anyone. You're my friend first, Remus—not a werewolf." Emmeline smiled at him, putting her hand under his chin and forcing him to meet her eyes. "Why on earth would I tell people?"

"Because I'm a monster."

She slapped him, not too hard but enough to sting. "Oh, don't even. People like you and respect you; you're not a monster."

"I am! Do you know what werewolves can do to people? They're killers, and it's only a matter of time until I slip up."

Emmeline slapped him again. "Stop that! Your friends won't let you slip up. It's kind of a commonly known secret that you all do something on the full moon—you all vanish early in the evening and come back looking exhausted the next day. No, I don't have any idea what it is you do, or where you go, but then again, it's none of my business. So stuff the self-pity, Lupin. You're better than that."

He coughed. "Thanks, Emmeline. You sound a bit like James, you know? He pretty much told me the same thing. But, um, that's not what I was going to actually ask."

"Oh," Emmeline said, nonplussed. She then gave a sheepish laugh and said, "I guess you wouldn't, would you? Anyway, what were you really going to ask?"

"I have a favor… no, wait." He stopped and ran a hand through his hair, suddenly looking at her warily. "Have you ever kissed Sirius?"

"Sirius? No. What's this about?"

"May I kiss you?"

"Sorry, what?" A strange feeling of deja-vu swept over Emmeline. That was the second time this year she'd asked that, and she considered herself relatively good at reading people.

"May I kiss you? Only, Sirius was bragging the other night about how he's kissed all the girls worth kissing, so I asked him if he'd kissed you and he got quiet, then said he'd kiss you before the month was out, but for once I want to do something he hasn't, and he hasn't kissed you. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask but I needed a decent reason to talk to you alone, and I was thinking that if you—"

Emmeline placed a hand over his mouth. "Remus, shut up."

"Sorry," he muttered around her hand.

She removed it with a smile. "That's fine." Leaning up, she pressed her lips gently to his, steadying herself with a hand on his shoulder. He stood stock still for a moment, then wrapped his arm around her waist. Emmeline broke the kiss softly after a bit and leaned into his chest, breathing deeply. "You smell nice."

"I'm glad," he rumbled, then coughed. "We are supposed to be patrolling against this sort of thing, you know."

"I know. But I don't care."

"You're a bad influence."

"Have you looked at the people in your dorm lately?"

Remus chuckled lightly and shrugged. "Touché. And, um, thank you."

Emmeline looped her arm around his middle as they walked back to the tower. "Remus Lupin, it was my pleasure. With a bit of practice, you'd be a lovely snogger." She laughed as he blushed a bit. "You would be, I'm just saying. That's a professional opinion too, you know." He didn't seem to know what to say to that and she merely grinned.

They stopped outside the portrait hole, the Fat Lady looking the other direction with a knowing smile on her face. "This won't change anything between us, right Emmeline?"

"For Merlin's sake Remus, please call me Emm. But no, of course not. I'm always glad to help you thwart Sirius. And here…" She leaned forward and kissed him deeply again, then drew back with a wink. "In case he asks if it was my own free will, and more than once. Good night." She gave the password to the Fat Lady and entered the common room before him, so as not to draw undue attention. She didn't want both Benjy and Fabian to come raining down like a ton of brick on Remus. He was a sweet person, and he didn't deserve to be ground into the carpet.

"Where've you been?" Alice asked when she went into the dormitory. "It's going on midnight."

"Remus asked me to walk prefect patrol with him, because Lily's in a threatening mood. Before that I had Quidditch practice… and I really need to change." Emmeline took clothes out of her trunk and showered off, pitching her sweaty and dirty practice robes into the laundry basket that Mary insisted they keep in the bathroom. She walked back into the dorm room braiding her hair.

"Well, you were out on patrol for a while."

"We had a conversation."

"About what?"

"Things, drop it Alice!"

Her best friend sighed and turned out the light. "Fine. I'll find out eventually."

Emmeline rolled her eyes as she dropped off to sleep. She had a wonderful best friend, but sometimes Alice was a real pain in the arse.

Christmas came meandering up in a sort of sideways fashion, slinking around the door like a student late for class. Lily, as always, went frantic over preparing for the holiday. After seeing her house the Christmas before, Emmeline understood better where she got it from.

"Emm! Alice! Mary!" Lily shouted across the common room as Emmeline was returning with a stack of books from the library. "I've just had the most brilliant idea—come here!"

Exchanging a look of trepidation with Alice, who was sitting by the fire with Mar, the girls walked hesitantly over to their redheaded friend, whose smile was practically glowing. "Secret Santa!" She said, in a sort of shouting whisper.

The magic-born and raised witches looked blankly at her. "Sorry?" Alice said.

"Secret Santa! It's really fun, my Dad's doing it at his work this year! It'd be amazing here—a bonding time for Gryffindor!"

"Lily, what the hell is Secret Santa?" Mary asked shortly, looking flirtatiously over at a seventh year who was sitting with Caradoc. "I'm kind of busy…"

"Fine, go then. Alice, Emm, you're going to love this…" As Mary sauntered away, Lily explained about Secret Santa to her friends.

At the end of the explanation, Alice said slowly, "So let me get this straight. You write your name on a piece of parchment and drop it in a hat, then we place a charm on the hat so that people get people they know, then we pick names out of the hat and give presents or do nice things for the people whose name we draw?"

"Um, pretty much, but I don't remember anything about a charm…"

"No, I threw that one in there because it'll be awkward as hell if we don't. And I'm rigging it so I can fix a few pairings, no arguments." Alice glared at them, as though they'd thought about accusing her. Emmeline held up her hands in a placating manner.

"I wouldn't dream of arguing with you," Emmeline said, the turned to Lily. "This is a Muggle tradition?"

"Yes. It's really fun—please say you'll help."

"And you're not going to leave us alone if we don't right?"

Lily just smiled at them. Alice groaned. "Fine. But if I don't get to have my fun, I'll know why."

"Merlin, calm down Alice!" Lily said. "We'll let you fix it, don't worry. Now, we need to let people know what's going on… I was thinking posters."

Emmeline sighed and rolled her eyes. "Lily, this is Gryffindor. Do we even have a bulletin board?" She cupped her hand around her mouth. "OI, GRYFFINDORS! LILY'S GOT AN IDEA, SHUT UP AND LISTEN!" She shouted, then nodded to Lily.

Her friend stood up with a slight smirk of mocking thanks to Emmeline. "In the Muggle world, there's something we like to do to promote good-feeling and House unity. Well, not exactly House unity, but… you get the idea. Basically, we all write our names down on little pieces of paper and put them in a hat—"

"—which we charm so that we can only draw out names of people we know—" Alice chimed in.

"—yes, and then draw names and get presents and do nice things for the people whose name we've chosen. It's really fun, and we can do it the week before Christmas break, and finish off with a party at the end." Lily smiled hopefully at the assembled Gryffindors. "Come on, please? Alice and Emm and I will set everything up, and all you will have to do is draw a name out of the hat and then get presents or nice things. We'll make a box that you can drop things in, and we'll hand them out to people. It'll be fun, I promise."

There were a few enthusiastic faces, but most people just muttered in agreement. Emmeline looked over at the group of four boys sitting in a corner muttering and decided to help them out a bit. Excusing herself from Alice and Lily, she walked over to them. Taking a seat on the edge of Remus's chair, she said quietly, "If any of you would like me to ask Alice to charm the hat to give you a certain person's name…"

"Lily," James muttered at once. Sirius rolled his eyes.

Remus did as well. "No one saw that coming."

Emmeline swatted him on the head. "Don't be an arse, Remus. That's cute, James. And I think Alice and I were already planning to do that, but we'll make sure it happens. Any other requests?"

Sirius winked at her. "You."

"All right, Remus, you're going to draw my name," Emmeline said, as though Sirius hadn't spoken.

"Oi!"

Remus laughed. "Thanks for that, Emm," he said dryly. "Sirius might just kill me in my sleep now."

She waved him off. "He'd never. James, would you like Alice to make it so Lily draws your name? She'll figure out I'm behind it in about four seconds, but…"

James nodded eagerly, looking like a little kid. "That'd be excellent. I know just what to get her."

Emmeline nodded and stood. "I'll tell Alice to make it all work. If anyone asks, I was over here talking about Quidditch. Can't let people know we're willing to rig it—Alice and I'd never be left alone." She waved as she walked away, giving instructions to Alice once they were back upstairs and Lily was in the shower.

Emmeline and Alice spent the next few days agreeing with everything Lily said in regards to her Secret Santa idea. They'd set up a box, appropriately festooned with seemingly half the contents of a Christmas shop. Emmeline and Alice didn't say anything where the red head could hear them, but both wondered quietly where Lily had gotten all the gold, silver, bells, ribbons, bows, tinsel, and other decorations from. They wrote down all the names and placed them in the hat before calling Gryffindor together on Saturday night.

"All right, we've got the hat! Now, try not to tell anyone who your person is, because that takes all the fun out of it." Alice was quickly firing off charms at the hat while Lily spoke, and Emmeline stifled her laughter as her friend said, "So, this is a completely random draw. Yes, you all have to draw. Everyone's name is in here, and Alice charmed—Alice, what are you doing?"

"Forgot to put on the knowing-people charm earlier. But it's all taken care of now," Alice lied breezily, throwing a lazy wink at Emmeline. "Carry on, Lily Marlene."

Lily blushed slightly. "Shut it. Anyway, everyone come draw!" With varying degrees of muttering, the Gryffindors came forward and pick out a scrap of parchment from the battered Appleby Arrows hat that Alice had stolen from Frank at the end of the year before. When no one else stepped forward, the three girls each drew. Emmeline looked down at the piece of parchment in her hand and saw, in Lily's neat writing, the name of the person she had to be nice to.

Sirius Black

"Alice," Emmeline growled at her friend, who gave a cheery wave and hesitant grin, "is this on purpose?" The blond girl pretended to think, then nodded slightly apprehensively. "You are getting nothing for Christmas, you hear?" Alice acknowledged that and turned back to her little piece of paper, leaving Emmeline to think about her first gift.

Monday dawned too quickly, with Charms right after breakfast. Emmeline had dropped Sirius' present in the box that morning, a nice eagle quill. She felt pathetic that she couldn't find him anything else, but she'd ordered a motorcycle-printed tie from one of Mary's magazines and it would arrive by Thursday, so that was that day taken care of.

Lily was overly excited that night when it came time to open the box and hand out gifts. She called people up one by one, and Emmeline was left to snicker with Alice over the various gifts people had wrapped up. Some were in the _Prophet's_ comic papers, some in parchment and Spellotape, and others were wrapped prettily in festive paper. Emmeline's own, when her name was called, was covered in the Quidditch section of the _Daily Prophet_. The girls in the sixth year all retreated upstairs to unwrap their presents.

Emmeline tore the paper off of hers, never having been good at waiting with presents. Her eyes widened as a pair of Beater's gloves, dark leather supple and new, with brass studs worked in, fell out onto her bed. Her name was stitched into the side in simple embroidery, the thread matching the brass. "Who would spend money like this on me?"

"Who would spend money like _this_ on _me_?" Lily echoed, though for an entirely different reason. She was holding up a fine golden chain with an enameled lily in white and green dangling from the end. Alice and Emmeline were careful to avoid looking at each other as the dark-haired girl tried on her new gloves and Alice held up a new Gryffindor scarf against her pajamas.

"No idea. It's really pretty, though," Mary said from across the room. "Someone sent me a plate of cookies, anyone want one? They're not bad, either." The girls split the cookies as Lily put on her new necklace, still blinking in wonder.

"Who'd spend money like this on me?" She wondered again, fingering the chain.

"We don't know, Lily. Emm, who do you think sent you those?"

"I don't know! Someone else who plays Quidditch. Mary, those cookies are excellent. I love your person."

Mary laughed. "Me too. Don't eat all my cookies, Emmeline Vance!"

"I won't, I won't… but Alice might."

"I will not. Just one more. Night all."

"Night Alice, Mary, Lily."

"Night Emm."

"But who would—"

"Shut up!" Three pillows were chucked over at Lily, effectively silencing her.

Lily was wearing her pendant the next day, and there was a huge, entirely explainable smirk on James's face. Alice and Emmeline both warned him to act a bit more normal, to which he replied that if he was normal he wouldn't be James Potter and in love with Lily Evans. Lily didn't notice the abnormality, however, as she was too busy trying to figure out who gave her the lily.

Emmeline, on the other hand, waited outside the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and grabbed Remus's arm in a vice-like grip as he exited, pulling him down the hallway into an empty classroom. "Um, hello Emm," the boy greeted her, slightly confused.

"Hi. I need your help."

"Were the theatrics necessary?" Remus rubbed his arm with a rueful grin at her. "You've got a strong arm."

"It comes from being a Beater. And no, maybe not, but I need help. I know we're not supposed to tell anyone or whatever, but I have Sirius as my Secret Santa person and I have absolutely no idea what he would like. Help me!"

"Calm down, calm down. Sirius is easy to get presents for… but I'll help you!" He quickly added at the look on her face. He ran a hand over his face and grinned at her. "Do Peter and James and me a favor and get him clean socks."

"Clean socks?"

"He doesn't like house elves, so he hides his clothes from the to torment them. Consequently, he has nothing clean, and his socks are the worst I have ever smelled. And since I room with James and Peter as well, I know about stinky socks." Remus rolled his eyes and groaned. "You have no idea. I've been tempted to sneak into the girl's dorms to get away from the stink."

Emmeline smiled at Remus and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You're wonderful. I'll see you later!" She started to walk away, then called back flirtatiously, "Sneak into my dorm any time you like, Lupin." There were several raised eyebrows at that, and Emmeline snickered to herself as she walked away.

She laughed as she hurried off to the Gryffindor Tower, hearing Sirius's shout behind her.

Over the next few days, Emmeline added to her new set of Quidditch gear. It seemed that her secret person was both wealthy and openhanded, and she finally got to try everything out on their Friday practice. She slipped on the armguards and shoulderguards, and then strapped the shinguards to her legs as well. The leatherwork complimented her broom, and she felt rather elegant in terms of being a well-dressed player as she took to the field. James let out a whistle at her new gear, and cruised along beside her for a few hundred feet. "Where'd you get the new kit?"

Emmeline laughed. "Lily's Secret Santa nonsense is paying off. You wouldn't happen to know who mine is, would you?"

"Sorry, no. Does Lily like her gifts?"

"Not a hour has gone by that she hasn't interrogated either Alice or myself. She knows we know something, and if you have to find yourself a new beater at the end of this week, don't blame me. Lily's about to kill me if I don't fess up. She's too smart for her own good."

He looked panicky for a second. "You mean she doesn't like them?"

"That's not what I said, calm down—she loves them. When she learns who they're from… I don't know. I think you might have noticed, but she doesn't really like you."

He punched her lightly in the shoulder. "You think?" Flying away, he called to the rest of the team and put them through their paces. Emmeline groaned and beat the Bludgers back and forth with Graden until it was well past eight at night.

She staggered upstairs that night after stripping off her new armor and locking it up with her broom. The next day was the end of the 'Secret Santa nonsense' and while she was grateful, she was also slightly hesitant. She knew what to do for Sirius's final present, but she knew it would require an amount of daring and nerve that she'd been quite content to go without before. She looked around the dorm room and then slipped back out the door, heading downstairs. Few people were up to notice her sneak out of the portrait hole and she was grateful for that.

Making her way to the Owlery wasn't hard. What was hard was keeping her yelp of shock silent as she saw a dark figure by the window. She stifled it, turning it into more of an embarrassing squeak, and that was enough to draw the shadowy figure's attention. "Oh, Alice," she said in relief.

Her friend didn't appear as cheerful as she normally was. "Hi Emm."

"What's wrong, Alice?"

"Frank just sent me a letter." Alice proffered the open envelope to Emmeline, who took it and removed a single sheet of paper. Alice nodded tightly to Emmeline's unasked question.

Hesitantly, Emmeline let her eyes scan the brief letter.

_Alice,_

_This is hard for me to write, but I have to. My team is going to be called out during Christmas vacation, and I'm not going to be able to see you. I'm so sorry to have to break it to you like this, but things have gotten so insane here at work. People are vanishing and dying left and right, and there's no scrap of order left. They need as many of us Aurors as they can muster—we've been leaked information that something massive is going to happen before the New Year. All trainees, everyone's being called out. People are coming out of retirement as well, because everything's falling apart._

_I'm sorry to throw all of this on you. I'll be there in spirit._

_All my love,_

_Frank_

Emmeline quit reading and gave the letter back. Her first thought wasn't of her friend, but of Benjy. If this was true, Benjy wouldn't be home for Christmas either. She swallowed hard. "Alice…"

"You know what this means? No one will be home. Fabian, Gideon, Ben, Frank…"

Emmeline wrapped her friend in a sudden hug, as much for giving support as for getting it. "Come over to the Sea Tower for Christmas. Please."

Alice nodded, and Emmeline kept her arm slung over her best friend's shoulder on the way back to their dorm.

The next morning dawned bright and early with a pillow in the face. "Morning sleepyheads!" Emmeline heard. She groaned, remembered the letter from Frank, and then let out a quiet sigh. Lily didn't know. It didn't directly affect her, and there was no need to ruin her day. Emmeline and Alice met gazes across the brightly-lit room and came to a quick, silent agreement not to tell Lily.

Emmeline yawned and stretched, plastering a bleary smile on her face. "Why do we have to get up so early?"

"It's almost noon, Sleeping Beauty, get up!" Another pillow was thrown her way and she dodged it wearily. She really hadn't gotten much sleep that night, but she made certain she looked reasonably well put-together. She staggered into the bathroom and into the shower, grimacing as she stripped off her clothes covered in Quidditch stench. She rinsed off and then dressed in her favorite grey sweater and pulled her hair back into a braid.

Lily had completely redressed by the time Emmeline emerged back into the room, and Alice was in the middle of pulling her slippers out from underneath her bed. "Come on you two, hurry up! We need to get ready for the party! It starts at four!"

"Shout a little louder, why don't you?" Alice grumbled good-naturedly. She yanked on her slippers and headed out the door with a jerk of her head, Lily scampering off after her.

Contrary to Lily's frantic worries, everything was more than ready by the appointed time. "See, Lily, we have this thing called magic," Alice said, directing the last bit of tinsel up to the rafters of the room. "And it gets things done really quickly."

"Oh, shut up," Lily replied, arranging chairs into a loose circle. People were watching them amusedly, and Emmeline ended up flopping down in the chair Lily had just moved.

"Take a seat, Lily Marlene. Everything looks great." Lily turned on her with fire in her green eyes, but it died in the face of Emmeline's casual manner.

"Fine," she huffed, sitting down with her arms crossed. "We'll just wait for everyone to come down now."

People were slow to trickle back in from the castle, and many didn't come in until after dinner. Alice and Emmeline snuck away to the kitchen to get food, returning with more sweets than they could handle. Alice charmed up a large bowl and set of plates and they arranged the extra on a table, ignoring Lily's sudden interest in where they got to food.

Finally, everyone was seated in the chairs. Lily stood up with a smile and clapped her hands together for attention. "Hello everyone! So, we're going to do this really simply. We'll guess the name of our Secret Santa, guessing up to three times, and then if you don't get it by then the person who had you will just say. Then the person who had you will go, and so on. This is also a time for the last gifts to be given. Everyone clear? I'll start."

Amidst a backdrop of mutters of assent, Alice leaned over to Emmeline and said quietly, "Lily going first is a bad idea. The Tower will go up in flames when she figures it out."

Emmeline nodded, but then quickly shook her head as Lily said her name. "Lily, no way in hell am I your Secret Santa."

"Alice?"

"Nope."

"Um…" the redhead frowned slightly, and the looked at Remus. "Remus, it's got to be you."

"Sorry Lily."

"Alright, fine, who was it?" She looked expectantly around the circle and almost missed James's hesitantly raised hand. Blinking, her lips parted slightly, she said "Potter?"

"Er, yeah." He stood up and handed her a small box, which she opened to reveal a gold and enamel hairpiece that perfectly matched the necklace, choker, earrings, bracelet and rings she'd received throughout the past week. Shakily, she twisted her long, dark red hair into a knot and secured it with the comb-like piece, then smiled at him slightly. "Thank you."

"I'm shocked," Alice muttered. "No explosion?"

Emmeline shrugged as James coughed and muttered, "No problem."

There was a silence for about half a minute before Sirius slapped his friend on the back and said, "Now, that wasn't awkward at all. Jamesy, who do you think your person was?"

"Um… Lily?"

She nodded, still in something of a trance, then blinked and snapped out of it in the instant it took her to round on Alice and Emmeline. "You rigged it!"

"Not denying nothing, Lily dear. Now come on," Alice said breezily, "let's not cause a scene. Wholesome, family fun here, right? Since we seem to have reached a dead end here… I'll go." She proceeded to guess her Secret Santa, and Emmeline tuned out until it was Sirius's turn for guessing.

"Hmm…" he said, placing a long, pale finger at the corner of his damn perfectly shaped mouth. Half the girls proceeded to breathe quicker, and Emmeline rolled her eyes. Really? That was pathetic. Just because he was handsome didn't mean he deserved to be drooled over. "Moony? You my Secret Santa?"

"Thankfully no, Padfoot."

"Oh? I thought that the socks… huh." He named one of the seventh year girls, who giggled but sadly shook her head. "Alice? Are you my Secret Santa, beautiful?"

"Don't call me that, I have a boyfriend. But no, actually, I'm not."

_Shit._ Emmeline thought. _Here we go._ She took a deep breath and started singing, her voice low and husky as usual. "He's a tramp, but they love him. Breaks a new heart, everyday. He's a tramp, they adore him, and I only hope he stays that way." She stood up and sauntered over to Sirius, who had a huge smile on his face. She didn't feel normally that hips were supposed to swing that much, but she just went with it because what on earth was normal about Emmeline Vance singing to Sirius Black? Damn Lily Evans.

She walked around his chair and then perched on the armrest and leaned over him. "He's a tramp, he's a scoundrel, he's a rounder, he's a cad. He's a tramp, but I love him," She rolled her eyes inwardly and kept singing, "Yes, even I have got it pretty bad."

Sliding down the armrest and ending up with her side pressed to his in a slightly movement that would have made Benjy hex the kid black and blue, she sang, fully aware that every eye was firmly set on her little display of Christmas spirit, "You can never tell where he'll show up. He gives you plenty of trouble. I guess he's just a no-count pup. But, I wish that he were double."

She slipped an arm around his shoulders, firmly concentrating on ignoring his lovely muscles, and finished off the blessedly short song. "He's a tramp. He's a rover, and there's nothing more to say. If he's a tramp, he's a good one, and I wish that I could travel his way. Wish that I could travel his way. I wish that I could travel his way…" She gave him a light kiss on his cheek and whispered, "Merry Christmas, Sirius. You're not getting another present from me for the next ten years, you hear?"

And, with her face flaming, she walked with the remnants of her dignity back to her seat next to an Alice who was roaring with laughter. "Haha, oh, Emm… hah, you've got to be… that was brilliant! Now… haha… now you have to guess."

Emmeline tried to pretend like nothing had just happened, although that was rather difficult with a roomful of snickers around her. "Um…" she looked around the circle at the faces of those who hadn't come forth yet. "Mary?"

"Emm, you got Quidditch gear. The hell do I know about that?"

"Right… Caradoc?"

"Sorry Emm."

There was a grin on someone's face, and so she narrowed her eyes slightly at him. "Grey?"

"Merry Christmas, Emm!" He jumped up and handed her a large box, which was moving. Hesitantly, she opened the lid with the kid in front of her positively jumping up and down in excitement.

A small black cannonball bounded out, then twined itself around her shoulders. "You… Grey, you got me a kitten?"

"Do you like him? Guess what his name is?"

"Oh, Merlin, Grey! You got me a kitten!" She wrapped the third-year in a hug. "I've no idea… what's his name?"

"Guess!"

He was small and black and fuzzy. Remembering her gifts from the week, Emmeline looked down at the kid she was still hugging tightly. "Bludger?"

His loud laugh was more than enough to tell her that she was right. She released him and sat back down, running her fingers over the small ball of black fluff. "Oh Grey, he's perfect! Thank you!" Emmeline hadn't been able to bring herself to get a cat after her parents had died. While she'd always wanted one, she had found it too hard to walk into the pet store.

Grey had that adorable grin on his face as he turned to guess his Secret Santa. Emmeline played with Bludger, fascinated with the little kitten. Alice was laughing again and the rest of the evening passed with Emmeline's attention focused almost solely on her new pet.

Later that night, when the girls were back up in bed, Emmeline was finishing up packing for the train ride home the next day. Alice was more subdued than she'd been during the party, and Emmeline was grateful that Lily was asleep. "There's not going to be a party at my place this year," Alice commented quietly.

"I know," Emmeline replied. "We could…" she drifted off, sighed, and shook her head. "Never mind, I couldn't throw a party anything like one of the McKinnons' could."

Alice gave her a sad half of a smile. "It's alright. Frank can probably drop by on a few days, if that's fine with you."

"Of course it's fine with me. Benjy… I'm surprised he hasn't written me about the call up yet. It'll be good to have the house filled with people. I'll invite Fabian and Gideon over as well. Maybe James and Remus and Peter could come over too. James's parents are Aurors."

Alice laughed, her half smile shifting into a full one. "What, you're not inviting Sirius?"

She blushed. "I think I've dealt with enough Sirius-ness to last me a lifetime."

* * *

Couldn't resist the pun... sorry. Anyway, reviews=love. And I need more love.


	7. A Mistake and an Order

"Fabian," Emmeline breathed, leaning closer to him while simultaneously trying to untangle herself. "Fabe, I need to get back to the castle."

"Nonsense Emmie-mine, you're a seventh year in your last few months of school. No one cares at this point." That wickedly crooked smile held her captive, and she slumped back against him with a sigh.

"I just can't win against you, can I?"

"Why even try, beautiful?" He winced as she punched him lightly. "Come on, I've got to deal with cuts and bruises from the DE's as well as you?"

She furrowed her brow slightly. "DE's?"

"Death Eaters. They're You-Know-Who's little gang, they run around and blow things up and kill people."

She swallowed. "I guess it's pointless to tell you to be careful, isn't it?"

He nodded. "I'm as safe as I can be, Emm. So's everyone I work with. We look out for each other and… well, sometimes things happen, but I've been alright so far, and as long as you love me I'll keep being alright."

"That's a really stupid, sappy line, you know."

"I know. Now come on, I'll walk you back up. Can't have my dearest Emmeline Vance wandering about all alone, something might happen."

She rolled her eyes. "Nothing would happen."

"Never bet on that."

He saw her off at the gates with a kiss that lasted for several minutes and resulted in mussy hair on both their parts, and then she snuck inside the gate as the sun set. Making her way back up to the castle, she turned and looked down across the grounds, her shadow falling in the pool of golden candlelight, at her boyfriend. _It's still a silly thing to call him_, she thought. He was so much more than a simple boyfriend. Neither one of them admitted that, though.

"I don't want to make a promise I can't keep," he'd told her once, when they'd been lying outside the Sea Tower at night, safe in the enchantments surrounding the place.

She'd nodded and said nothing.

"Emm!" A screech greeted her. She blinked and was dragged inside the dorm room by Lily. "Look!"

Lily's hand was shoved in Emmeline's face and she blinked again as a large diamond caught her eye and sparkled like a Filibuster firework. "Uh, Lily, is that…?"

"I'm getting married! Mrs. Lily… _Potter_."

"If you'd said Mrs. Lily Anything-Else, I'd be a little concerned, you know."

"Oh, shut up."

Emmeline smiled and hugged Lily. "But finally. I mean, Merlin, the kid's been drooling after you for years."

"Oh, but Emm, it was so _romantic_!"

Alice rolled her eyes and pantomimed shoving her head through the wall. Lily saw this and glared at her, and Emmeline decided to intervene. "Alice, you were like this too when Frank proposed, you know."

"And I'm sorry."

More glares. Emmeline sighed. "Come on, can't we all just be happy?"

"You're right. Although, Emm, it's kind of sad you don't have one," Alice commented, admiring the sparkly rock on her own finger. Emmeline raised an eyebrow and Alice continued. "Well, you've been with Fabian for_ever_. When's he going to ask?"

Emmeline shrugged, affecting an air of nonchalance. "Ask him." She didn't let on that it was hard to see her friends with engagement rings.

The other girls rolled their eyes, then turned and started muttering quietly about wedding preparations. Emmeline excused herself and went back down the stairs, only to find James wreathed in smiles. Sirius caught her eye and rolled his own grey ones exaggeratedly. Standing up, he took her arm gently and led her out of the common room.

He took her up to the Astronomy Tower. She didn't comment about his choice of location and joined him in leaning against a wall. "Kind of sickening, isn't it?"

"I'm happy for them."

"You're trying to be happy for them, Emm. I can see it. But you're not. And believe me, I'm not too thrilled about it either."

"Why?" She asked curiously. "You're his best friend."

"And you're hers. Theirs. You've got double duty. Don't tell me you're not jealous."

"I'm not jealous."

He smirked at her and she crossed her arms, looking away with a huff. "Alright, fine, maybe just a little."

"There's nothing wrong with you, you know."

Emmeline bit back her first response. That thought hadn't been going around her mind… really, it hadn't. "I… never said there was."

"Emm, give me a little credit. I think I know you pretty well. Well enough to know when you're not the happiest, anyway."

"It's nothing."

"I'm sure." He was teasing her, but there was an underlying air of seriousness in his tone she hadn't heard before. "Moony mentioned something about this the other day."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Your friends are getting married and the guy you've been together with for a very long time… he's either not around or you're really good at hiding him."

"I saw him tonight."

"For the first time in how long?"

She didn't answer.

Sirius sighed. "Look, Emm… I'm just worried about you, is all. I need you to know that there isn't anything wrong with you. Whatever's making Fabian hesitate about… well, everything, it's not your fault."

She drew breath to respond, but she didn't reply. He hugged her gently around the shoulders and then leaned his forehead against her own. "You'll be alright. He's just being a guy."

"Then why is he doing this?" She burst out suddenly, causing him to move backwards slightly. "Why won't he give me a response about anything important? You're a guy—tell me!"

"Emm, I don't know. Yeah, I'm about his age and a guy, but I don't know what's going through his head. And listen, if you scare him as much as you scare me… maybe that's a good thing."

Emmeline looked into his eyes, suddenly so close. When had he moved forward again? Her lips parted slightly and her voice dropped into a completely unintentional husky whisper. "What do you mean, scared of me?"

"Men are always scared of beautiful women."

She almost didn't realize it as she moved her lips over his and kissed him, and it felt wonderful to have him kiss her back. Nothing rushed or hurried, no back-alley meetings arranged by owl post. There was no fear of interruption, no waiting to see if a message would come for Fabian telling him he'd have to leave almost instantly for the latest crime or worse. No weeks of waiting, the only correspondence letters few and much to far in between. Something spontaneous and wonderful.

And so, so wrong.

He pulled back before she did, both of them breathing heavily. "No," he whispered, his voice cracking even over that single syllable.

"No," she agreed, placing her forehead against his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." His arms encircled her again, but there was a definite, strict air of friendship this time. Only friendship. "I shouldn't have…"

"I think I can safely say it was mutual," she laughed ruefully, yet still very quietly.

He chucked deep in his throat, and she felt the rumbles in her own chest. "No argument here."

"We should probably go back."

"Yeah. Hey, Emm… what I really brought you up here to say was that if you ever need to talk, need a friend and you can't go to the otherwise engaged, if you catch my drift, then you can come to me. And I'll keep my distance this time, promise."

"Sirius," he looked at her, and she let a slight grin pass her lips. "Really, it was mutual. And thanks. You too, you hear?"

He nodded, then they started walking back to the common room by the secret passages known to Sirius and his friends. "Got it. And uh…"

"Don't worry. This is staying between us."

"Thanks."

"Hey, I'm not just saving your skin. Do you have any idea what Benjy would do to you… and Fabian would do to me?"

Graduation day dawned for the seventh years bright and early. The sun was shining high at three, when the ceremony started.

As Emmeline crossed the stage that had been magicked up for the event on the front lawn she managed to keep tears off her face. She'd dealt with a lot at this school, and as she walked down the line of her teachers she started crying. They were happy tears, and she was quick to assure Benjy of that when she saw him after the commencement had ended.

"Come on, little sister," he said, sweeping her up into his arms and carrying her bridal-style while she laughed. Her other friends were laughing along side them, traveling in a loose group towards the gates while everyone was congratulated by family and friends. "The Prewetts might have a castle but I got invitations out first. Party at the Tower!"

She looked at him. "Don't you have to work?"

He shook his head. "Frank, Fabian, Gideon, Caradoc and I ganged up on the schedulers. We're on vacation until tomorrow evening."

She hugged him tightly. "Really?" When he nodded and grinned, she added, "That's the best present I could ask for."

"Nope," he shook his head. At her raised eyebrow, he suddenly dumped her into Fabian's arms and added, "This is! I'm leaving you two alone until midnight."

She wasn't listening anymore. There was the familiar rush of excitement and butterflies she always got when she saw Fabian, and another, sweeter feeling that was growing more common. If she'd been forced to put a name to it she would have called it love, but that was one of the words they steered clear of. "Hello there, Emmie-mine."

"Fancy seeing you here, Fabe."

"Congratulations on the graduation. Not that anyone had any speck of doubt, of course." She laughed and kissed him, grateful he and her other Auror friends had the day off.

The party lasted long into the night. Almost all her friends were at her place, and Emmeline hadn't seen the Sea Tower that full in a long time. It was great for there to be people in every room, and yet there was still only minor trouble finding places for people to sleep. Emmeline and Fabian somehow ended up in her room without Benjy's notice… or maybe that was just part of his present to her.

She was sitting in the ledge of her window, legs bared to the quarter moon. She wasn't in robes, because it was hot, and her shirt was thin enough. She could tell that Fabian liked what he saw… and so did she, when she looked at him. He came and sat down next to her, balancing precariously on the small ledge.

"Fabian, we need to talk."

"I know."

"That's not what I expected you to say."

He grinned crookedly. "I know. But you're right."

Emmeline looked at him in the moonlight, waiting.

The redhead sighed. "I haven't been straight with you, Emm. None of us have."

That didn't sound right.

"We didn't just take time off of the Aurors today," his voice was slow and his eyes were serious as he continued. "The Aurors… well, we're not that effective anymore. You-Know-Who had infiltrated our ranks and we don't know who to trust anymore. Ben, Gid and I quit today. Frank's still there, and Caradoc, but there's getting out soon too. Thing is, Frank needs money for his wedding and Caradoc's finishing the training."

"You quit?"

He nodded. "I hate to throw all this on you but it's better that you know. There's a new society. Actually, it's not that new. Dumbledore's had it going for years, apparently. Anyway, he wants Gid and I to join."

"What are you talking about?"

"The Order of the Phoenix," a low voice said from the doorway. Benjy shut the door behind him as he walked into her room. "I should probably yell at you both for being in here alone but right now there's more important things going on."

"How do you know about the Order?" Fabian blurted out.

Benjy grinned darkly. "I've been a member since I graduated. Dumbledore talked to me after your parents died, Emmie. He actually sent me to talk to you about it… but I see that job's been done already."

"But I don't know anything about it. What is the Order?"

"It's a secret society devoted to fighting You-Know-Who," Fabian said.

"Emmie, we fight because it's the only effective thing. Fabian probably told you that the Aurors are gone."

"He mentioned, yeah." Her voice was guarded and slow. She didn't know what they wanted from her… well, okay, maybe she did… but there was something she needed answered. "Wait, Benjy… you said you've been in this since my parents died?"

He nodded.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" She tried to keep the accusation out of her voice but failed.

Benjy closed his eyes and then opened them slowly, walking over to the window and standing slightly nearer to Emmeline than to Fabian. "For your own protection. Hear me out on this. If you didn't know, you couldn't be taken for information. Anyway, you were too young. No one in school is allowed… which is why I'm here now, although it seem Fabian beat me to it. I, unlike him, however, actually have permission to ask you about joining, little sister."

Fabian narrowed his eyes slightly. "Who said I was asking her to join?"

It was Benjy's turn to look surprised. "What are you talking about? You're joining."

"Like hell."

Emmeline looked at Fabian. "What?"

"Gid thinks it's a good idea. I say no."

"Why?"

He looked at the two of them, an unreadable expression in his eyes. "I don't want to die."

Emmeline's mouth opened in an 'o' and she quietly asked, "Benjy? Would you excuse us for a few minutes?" Her friend bit his lip and then nodded, throwing yet another strange look at Fabian. Once he shut the door, she continued. "Fabian, I don't want to die either. I'm seventeen, I'm not ready for death. But this is important."

"It's suicide."

"Are you scared?"

"Of course I'm scared. You'd have to be an idiot not to be. Emm, I love you and I want to spend my life with you. I want to grow old with you and have our own house, send our kids off to Hogwarts and teach them Quidditch. I want to _live_."

"Fabian…" Where had these tears come from? "I want that too, more than you know. But in order to send our kids off to Hogwarts, we need for the world to be safe for them."

"Let someone else fight for it."

"I don't believe what I'm hearing. Fabe, you're one of the bravest guys I know."

"I'm brave, yeah, alright. But maybe there's more fear than bravery. You know people are going to die."

"People already have!" Emmeline burst out. "What about my parents? And Alice and I spent our Christmas alone last year. We know the sacrifices. We know what could happen."

"What will happen."

"All death is certain."

"Don't quote things at me."

"Fabian, please." She'd been calm, she'd kept her cool, until now. She didn't know if she was angry or sad about his reaction. She wished she couldn't understand where he was coming from. She wished she didn't know. "You'll regret this, if you do stay away from the Order. If we lose and we all die, at least I'll have died fighting for what I think is right. What I know is right."

"Emm," he started.

She shook her head. "Get out," she said without malice. "Get out of my room."

He seemed about to argue, and then he stood and sighed, shutting the door with a slight click as he shut it behind himself.

"Oh, Bludger," Emmeline muttered to her cat, who had jumped up on her lap with that innate sense animals have when their owners are sad. "Please say this is going to turn out okay."

Emmeline was swept up in so many wedding preparations that she really didn't have time to think about what Fabian had said over the next few weeks. Not that she wanted to. She didn't know what to think, let alone say about him. Benjy hadn't mentioned it, only given them strange looks, and she didn't want to discuss what had happened with him either.

"Alice, really, do we need another bridesmaids' fitting? I haven't eaten any more chocolate than usual, promise," Emmeline commented in a whiny tone. Alice sighed and shook her head.

"Just come on, Emmeline."

"At least you didn't use my middle name," Emmeline muttered.

"Sybella."

"Oh, shut up." Emmeline was forced onto a fitting podium and stood up straight and very still as the fitting witch practically prance around her.

"And anyway, Emm, you're not just a bridesmaid. You're my maid of honor! Your dress is different."

"I just don't like all this fuss. You're the one getting married, not me." And then she refused to talk until she was back home.

Benjy knocked on her door later that day. "Emmie? Would you come out here, please? I've got something I'd like to teach you."

"Really?" She said, closing the door behind her as she stepped into the hallway. "You haven't taught me anything since you taught me how to fly."

"I have so, and this… right now this might be more important than how to fly." That got her attention, but he didn't elaborate until they were downstairs. He cleared the living room with a wave of his wand, sending the chairs and couches to the walls. "Emmie, this might not save your life but it will save your soul, alright?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The Patronus Charm is a very powerful, rather difficult spell but you need to know it. It's used archaically to ward off the Lethifold, but we use it now against dementors. You know about them?" When she gulped and nodded, he continued, not seeming to notice Caradoc and his little siblings, Lily, James, Frank and Alice coming into the room, swiftly followed by Sirius, who had been making a loud comment to Remus and Peter but shut up really quickly when he noticed the hushed air to the room. "Well, they've joined You-Know-Who, and you've got to know how to fight them off. Like hell I'm losing my little sister to some soul-sucking bastard, got that?"

She grinned slightly and nodded again, placing her fingers around the base of her wand. "Show me what to do."

"First, you need to focus on a happy memory, the happiest one you can think of. I know you're not all that great at Charms, but the happier the memory for this, the easier it is. Then, with that firmly fixed in your mind, you say '_expecto patronum_!' and keep concentrating. Don't let sadness overwhelm you." His eyes looked shadowed for a moment and then he looked around before she could say anything. "Oh, hey you lot. Get over here, you should learn this too."

Soon enough, the living room was fuller than it had been before, and Benjy stood alone in the middle. "Each patronus is unique to its caster, with a few exceptions. Some people have matched sets, like a lion and a lioness, and they always have some kind of connection. Twins—Fabe and Gid both have foxes. A patronus can run in families as well. Apparently a patronus can change after a shock, but I haven't met anyone with that. I'll go ahead and cast mine, then you try it." His eyes glazed over for a moment and then he suddenly looked very concentrated, swinging his arm down as he shouted, "_Expecto patronum_!"

A large tiger, stripes a smoky white against a sheer body, leaped from his wand. Emmeline looked at it, amazed. "Benjy, it's beautiful," she murmured.

"Well, beauty isn't the point, but he is pretty good looking. They're happy memories, the unique personification of happiness that each of us has. They'll keep the dementors at bay. Depending on how strong it is and how many dementors there are, they might even fight them off. Following that logic, Moody says they should be able to kill the damn things, but it's not something I've had the pleasure of seeing. Go on now, you lot try it."

The air was then filled with slashing wands and shouting. Sirius and James both produce silver mist, and Frank showed off by calling up his patronus in an instant, a large bulldog that proceeded to strut around the room proudly.

"Come on Emmie, think happy thoughts," Benjy coaxed her.

She had her mind set on Fabian, though, and right now there weren't any happy thoughts. She gave Benjy a small smile. "I can't."

"Little sister, sure you can. What are you thinking about?"

"Fabian," she sighed.

"That's not happy," he said, slinging his arm around her shoulders. "Think about… I dunno, Christmas or something."

Christmas… she looked across at Sirius, who snickered and screwed his eyes shut. A big, misty dog, surrounded in a silver miasma but still able to be distinguished, fell out of his wand when he said the spell and then strengthened at his happy shout of laughter. "Yeah Emm—I thought of Christmas!"

"Shut up, Sirius!" She shouted at him, but then thought herself. Getting Bludger was a happy memory… she focused on that. Concentrating very hard, she shouted, "_Expecto patronum_!"

A sudden rush, like cool water on a summer's day flowing over her skin, made her eyes open. On the floor in front of her there was a small, silvery cat, tiger-striped like Benjy's. It stood up and looked at her, then seemed to wait. Her mouth opened slightly as she looked at it. "Benjy!"

"Good job, Emmie! I told you you could do it." He grinned at her, that carefree smile she so loved. "Look, it looks like a little tiger."

"Thanks Benjy," she muttered as she grabbed him in a hug. "I don't much fancy my soul being eaten."

The day of Alice's wedding approached. Emmeline was forced into bridesmaids' fittings for Lily's wedding as well. She sighed as she crawled into her bed that night, running a hand over her face.

She should be happy for her friends. She knew that. But… the dark-haired girl turned over restlessly, then sat up. She slipped out of bed and drew on a light robe that fell to mid-thigh and pulled on a pair of sandals, then snuck down the stairs and out of the Tower. She ran to the end of the lane and opened the gates silently, then closed and barred them behind her.

Emmeline still hated Apparating herself, but she turned on the spot and reappeared in a London back alley. Glancing around with a slight shudder that had nothing to do with cold, she walked quickly up to the door of a small apartment and knocked. Then again, since she was waiting too long outside for comfort.

Finally she heard the lock slide back. A very ruffled looking Sirius answered the door, blinking sleep from his eyes. "Eh? Emm? What's wrong, who's been hurt?"

"No one. I'm sorry to come like this," she offered an apologetic smile. "I just needed to talk, and Benjy's gone on Order business."

"Yeah, no problem… come on in, Emm." He stood back and held the door for her, then _snik_ed the lock back into place. "Can't be too careful, you know… what's going on?"

She shrugged. "I'm just having… loneliness issues again. I haven't talked to Fabian in almost a month and a half. Benjy's gone tonight and Caradoc took the twins on vacation for a few weeks. Even Bludger's off roaming somewhere… probably got himself a girlfriend."

Sirius grinned at her, that lazy grin that had driven so many girls crazy at school. He leaned back in his chair. "So you're jealous of your cat?"

"Oh, shut up." She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm not jealous of my cat. I just wish… I don't know."

Sirius opened his mouth as if to say something, then sighed and stood up instead. "You want anything to drink?"

She shook her head. "I'm good, thanks though. Just came for the sympathy, really."

"Plenty of that here, sunshine."

Emmeline snorted despite herself. "Sunshine? Really?"

"Really, beautiful." He yawned. "Sorry. I've been up too late too many nights recently."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "Partly that I've had Order duty, partly nightmares." His voice dripped nonchalance, but Emmeline saw through it.

"Nightmares? I'm sorry to hear that. I won't insult either one of our intelligences by asking you to tell me what they're about, or assuring you that you'll be alright."

Sirius laughed. "Thanks Emm."

"Actually, I'd better go. I just needed a bit of company, thanks. You need your sleep."

The dark-haired wizard raised an eyebrow. "You think I'm letting you go out alone at two in the morning? You're staying here. Take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch."

"Sirius, no. Look, I'd like to stay if you'd let me, but I'm not taking your bed."

"Sure you are." He got up and moved before she had the chance, sweeping her into his arms and walking to his room.

She didn't fight, but looked up at him with teasing eyes. "You know, if someone walked in right now we'd have to do some really quick explaining."

Sirius laughed and dumped her unceremoniously in his bed. "Shut up, you. I'll be on the couch if you need anything."

"Sirius, don't," she said, rolling over to lean on her elbow. "Just sleep on the other side. That couch is tiny."

"Emm, that's really not a good idea."

She shook her head. "Sirius, you're my friend. Nothing's going to happen, and if it did… well, I'm not exactly taken right now."

Sirius looked like he wanted to jab something sharp through his eye. "Don't give me incentive like that, Emm."

"Come on Black, you scared of little old me?" She teased, throwing her hair back over her shoulder.

He groaned. "Emm, please… don't do this to me."

"Do what?" She sat up fully and looked at him, loose hair falling around her shoulders. She hadn't bothered to put it in her usual braid before she'd come over, and she suddenly realized that none of her male friends, Benjy barred, had ever seen her with her hair down.

Sirius seemed unable to take his eyes off her unbound hair as he replied slowly, "You know I like you."

Emmeline let her confusion show through, brow twisting slightly. "I like you too."

He groaned again. "No, Emm, I really like you."

Her mouth formed the movements to say 'oh' but didn't. She bit her lip instead and closed her eyes as he shrugged. "I didn't know. Sorry."

A wry chuckle escaped him. "Unless you're going to apologize for being so damn cute and gorgeous, and nice and caring and all the other stuff I really like about you, don't bother."

"Well, it's not like I can help it."

"I know. I don't blame you. But that's why I think sleeping in the same bed is a bad idea." When she didn't respond, he leaned forward and patted her shoulder. "I'll be on the couch."

Emmeline sighed. "Boys…" she muttered to herself before pulling up the blankets and burying her face in the pillow.

Alice's wedding was left as a blur in her mind. She danced with Frank's father, who was his best man, and all the others as well. Alice was radiant in a simple white dress, and Frank appeared not to be able to pick his jaw up off the floor when he looked at her. Emmeline herself was dressed in light green, a dress that left her shoulders and calves bare.

Sirius stepped up to her as she was leaning against a pillar of the pavilion. "May I have this dance, beautiful?"

"Sure thing, Dogstar."

He laughed as he twirled her around the floor. "Where'd that come from?"

"Well, since you insist on calling me beautiful and sunshine, you needed a name too. And Siri is much too girly."

"Thanks for that." He spun her around into his arms and she caught a glance over his shoulder of Fabian looking both hurt and angry. She stepped back and sighed. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Sorry. Here I am leading you on and… I need to go."

"Alright," he said quietly. She smiled at him and then walked off.

Following Fabian wasn't difficult. He tended to leave a trail when he was running high on his emotions. She followed the debris of turned over chairs and confused wedding guests. She eventually found him sulking around the back of the old stables of the castle. "Fabian," she called. His head shot up and it looked like he was having a hard time keeping the happy expression off his face, and then he replaced it almost instantly with a scowl. "Fabian, please. I just want to talk."

"Thought you would like talking with Black better."

"There's nothing like that going on between us."

"I've seen how he looks at you."

"Have you noticed how I look at you?" Something inside her suggest beating her head again her palm for such a stupid line, but she repressed it with a glare at Fabian.

"But you're mad at me."

Stupid boy! She went ahead and said it out loud too, then stepped closer to him and took his hand. "I'm not mad, I'm confused. I'm not going to be angry at you if you don't join the Order, because it's not my place to decide anything for you. I'm scared too, yes. I want to live too, of course I do, and I want this," she swept her free hand around back to the large pavilion, "for us too. But we can't get that until life is safer. I just can't understand why you won't fight."

"Because I…"

She hushed him by placing her free hand on his mouth. "Not 'I _don't_ understand,' Fabe. I _can't_ understand."

He just looked at her. "Please, you idiot redhead, don't shut me out. I'll love you no matter your choice."

Fabian moved in a rush, gripping her tightly in a hug. "Just stay away from Black, alright?" She managed to let him see her raised eyebrow and he shifted awkwardly, not letting her go. "I just… I've been jealous, alright?"

She knew she should respond to that, knew instinctively that it would cause problems later on if she didn't address it now, but she was so glad that he was talking to her again, that she had the one she loved back, that she couldn't force herself to bring it up.

Lily's wedding went off better, and James's best man behaved himself. Emmeline wasn't the maid of honor this time, or which she was grateful. Her speech at the Longbottom's wedding had been slightly giddy, and she appreciated being able to blend in with the other bridesmaids. Benjy took charge of most of her dancing that night, and she knew it was because he had to go off on Order business.

She went to sleep late that night after helping Caradoc with putting the twins to bed. They would be going to Hogwarts the next year, and he looked back up at their rooms with incredible tenderness before bidding her goodnight.

Emmeline sighed. Even with having had a very full day (including two breakdowns by Lily that she'd had to soothe without messing up the bride's makeup), she was restless. _But I'm not going to Sirius's this time_. Of course Fabian had found out about that. How, she had no idea. She knew that Sirius wouldn't have told him, especially since her yearmate recognized that Emmeline didn't like him like that back. She snorted to herself. Like him like that, what was this, third year?

She'd started something… whatever it had been… with Fabian in her third year. It had been easier then, her secret not-really-but-kind-of boyfriend that she got to kiss and tease. It had been so fun, and it had kept on developing into something more and more perfect, and then…

Another sigh. Sirius. They'd kissed once and she admitted that she'd like to do it again, but that was something she recognized more as forbidden fruit. She _loved_ Fabian, she knew that. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, he was just making it difficult. She knew that if he died her life would get a lot more difficult if she let what they had continue, but she couldn't resist. But Sirius was always there when she needed him. Fabian, while not working as an Auror anymore, always followed his brother on Order missions.

"So why doesn't he just join the damn thing and make it easier on everyone?" she muttered to herself, getting out of bed and walking up to the small observatory. She looked out at the stars and then sat down, curling up her knees into her chest. She didn't know how long she sat there, but she watched the sun rise the next morning.

She walked down the flying staircase early to make some tea. After putting he kettle on to heat, she was surprised by the front door opening softly. "Oh, morning Caradoc," she said quietly. When she got a second look at him she winced—he appeared unhurt, but covered in dust and soot.

He blinked at her. "Morning Emm. I didn't expect you to be awake."

"Me neither, but so it goes. How did it go last night? And uh, what happened?"

"Well, pretty badly, actually." Caradoc was in the Order as well, and she frowned and poured him a cup of tea as he sat down wearily. "No one was hurt, don't worry, but headquarters was destroyed."

She couldn't stop the gasp from escaping her. "How?"

"Elphius Doge was watching the place, he said they just all came at once and blasted it. Someone must have let slip—ever since we lost the last headquarters, it's been harder and harder to cast the right enchantments to keep the place safe."

She made a noise of agreement, and then furrowed her brow. "So where's tonight's meeting being held?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. There isn't a backup headquarters."

"Would you mind having it here?"

The confusion on his face was brief. "It's your house."

"But Auggy and Ziggy live here, and so do you. So does Benjy, but I can't ask him and I know what he'd say anyway."

"I don't mind. Actually… this place would be pretty good for it, wouldn't it?"

She nodded. "I've been thinking about it for a little while. I haven't been much use, besides guarding and playing backup, and I can at least offer my house. It's covered in enchantments, and we can do the others as well."

"Go talk to Dumbledore about it, then. Try the old headquarters—they were trying to pull things out of the rubble when I left."

Emmeline nodded again and finished her tea with a smile, then headed upstairs to change into something to go out in. She tucked her wand into a pocket and then went back downstairs, the heat of August already being made apparent.

It was strange being alone as she Apparated. They'd been taking precautions for the past few years, even if Benjy and Fabian and all the other overprotective men in her and her friend's lives hadn't said it was for protection. Quickly, she strode down the long drive to the ruins, still smoking and practically crawling with Ministry officials, of the old building. She recognized the long white beard almost instantly, along with a pair of redheads she hadn't expected to find. Emmeline waved to them slightly and then walked over to the professor.

"Excuse me, Professor?" She inquired politely. The man looked down at her, eyes warm but slightly distracted. "I was thinking we could hold the next meeting at my place," she offered in a whisper, not moving her lips much.

He gave a warm smile and then made a hushing motion. "I will speak to you later, Miss Vance. For now… please escort Mr. Doge home. He has had a trying night."

Emmeline nodded and then walked over to the small man. "Mr. Doge? Please, if you'll come with me? Dumbledore asked me to see you home."

He seemed distracted as he offered her an arm genteelly, which she took and then let him Apparate them. They reappeared outside a small cottage, and she made sure he was safely in after he brushed off her offer of coffee. Shrugging to herself, she turned again and then popped into existence outside the entrance to Diagon Alley.

She stepped into the Leaky Cauldron for a drink, and was surprised to see someone she knew very well. "Alice!" She called out.

Her friend turned, a happy glow on her face. "Emm! Come on over, have a drink!"

"I didn't know you were back from your honeymoon yet." Emmeline slid into the seat next to Alice and ordered a pot of tea. She wasn't much good with alcohol so early in the morning.

Alice shrugged. "We got word that things were getting more and more intense here, and decided to head back early. How are you?"

Emmeline lowered her voice. "Headquarters was destroyed last night. Next meeting is at my place, I think. I offered it to Dumbledore, anyway. And I've been better… been worse too, so I guess I shouldn't really complain."

Alice smiled sadly. "Frank and I would like to come over later, if that's all right with you. We need to catch up, and I think it's safe to say that no one should go anywhere alone now. Speaking of which, where's your noble escort today?"

Emmeline laughed. "Which one? Benjy's gone on business, the twins are helping to clean up the mess of the old place, and Caradoc's at home sleeping, I hope. He looked pretty worn out."

Her friend shook her head. "You're sticking with me for the rest of the day, then. No going out on your own, young miss! Anyway, what about Sirius? He likes hanging around with you."

A sigh this time. "Yeah, he does. And… that's kind of a problem."

"Oh?" Alice finished off Emmeline's tea and stood up, leading the way into the Alley behind them. "What happened?"

"Alice, he likes me."

"You're kidding. Don't get me wrong, I can understand why, but… you're taken, you've been taken for a very long time."

"Tell that to him."

"When did he get the opportunity, anyway?"

"Before your wedding."

"And you're just telling me this _now_?"

"You haven't been around, and it wasn't something I'd put into a letter. Can we talk about something else?"

Alice sighed. "You're just determined not to make this easy on yourself, aren't you?"

The meeting was a week after the old headquarters had been destroyed, and Emmeline hadn't had the place so filled in a while. She had people in almost every room of the house, and they eventually all gathered in the living room and kitchen on the ground floor, the only place large enough in the circular tower. The ground floor had no walls dividing it, so people were able to see each other everywhere.

She took her place standing next to Fabian. He draped his arm over her shoulders and gave her a little hug—it seemed that he forgave her for those months apart, as did she. Now, in late September, maybe things would be alright? Emmeline hoped so.

The two sets of newlyweds had stolen her couches, and Sirius made sure to keep away, even though she sent him a sympathetic smile to where he lingered in the corner. He shrugged elegantly and winked at her slightly, then turned his attention to the professor.

"I welcome you all, and I extend a great thank you to Miss Vance for the use of her house. She has assured me that we can continue to meet here—and she won't need to meet us all at the gate the next time. We have already placed the Fidelius Charm on the Sea Tower, as you know as well. Hopefully this place will be our haven in the coming shadows."

* * *

Thanks to aer8503 for the latest review!


	8. An Attack and a Promise

There was blood on the floor still. Emmeline looked around her house with dull eyes, but she saw those more shocked and scared than herself. Most of the members of the Order were sitting around her ground floor room and yet it still felt empty. A crashing bang had almost everyone on their feet with their wands out, and the Prewett twins appeared wide-eyed and with their hands held high. There was a storm outside, which accounted for the crashing of the door, but even knowing that tension was still wrought in the air.

Emmeline relaxed slightly, pocketing her wand. "Fabian, Gid," she greeted with relief. "What did you find?"

Fabian shook his head while Gideon responded. "Nothing. There's no trace that the Death Eaters were ever there. How are the kids?"

"They'll be alright. Thank Merlin for Hestia and Alice's Healer training. We still can't go upstairs, but they'll be okay." Emmeline walked forward until Fabian could slip his arms around her shoulders and hug her. "Don't go out again tonight, either one of you."

She looked around the room at the scattered assortment of people. "Please, all of you. Stay the night here. I don't want anyone out alone at night. Not even in pairs. Not tonight."

Against a backdrop of murmured agreements, she walked into the kitchen and got a bucket and sponge. She walked back into the main room and knelt on the entrance floor, setting her arms to work cleaning up the blood. Emmeline wanted to do it right, no magic. This was friend's blood—no, it was more than that. Auggy and Ziggy Dearborn were like her own little siblings, and Caradoc was her brother. This was her family's blood on the floor.

People started to make their way up the flying staircase in the middle of the floor slowly. Bludger came over to her and twined around her arms, inadvertently tracking bloody paw prints in a circle around her. Emmeline wiped those up as well, then leaned back and petted her cat. "Go on Bludge… go see…" She couldn't finish. Normally she would say 'go see Auggy' or 'go see Ziggy.' The kids loved her cat, but both of them were upstairs getting… cleaned up.

A dry sob escaped her throat. Her hair was falling around her face and so she could mask it with a cough, and she stood quickly, walking back into the kitchen with the bucket of water now tinted red. She threw the sponge out. The water she poured down the sink and then ran the tap for a good few minutes, along with dumping half a bottle of soap down the drain.

She didn't want to go upstairs so she sat down on one of the comfy leather chairs scattered around the ground level of the Tower. Her cat came back and sat down on her shoulders, draping himself around her like a scarf. She stroked him absently, staring into the dying fire. Fabian came and sat down next to her, pulling her halfway onto his lap. Emmeline laid her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and taking comfort in it. They fell asleep like that, and she managed to hold back both her panic and fear because he was there.

The next day, most people headed home after dawn broke. Benjy turned up later after trying to trail the Death Eaters responsible, but having no luck. Emmeline fixed him a cup of tea which he drank slowly.

"Merlin, Emmie," he muttered softly. "What a night."

"What exactly happened?" She asked quietly. "I'd been here all day. Caradoc said he was taking the twins shopping and I offered to go with him, but then he reminded me that I was on duty. I shouldn't have let him go alone, I know that, but what happened? They just turned up here covered in blood."

"I still don't know entirely. You-Know-Who must have known that Caradoc was in the Order. Maybe he thought that by… subduing his little siblings he could bring the Order into an ambush. We don't know. They'll be alright, though?"

"They'll be fine. Alice left half an hour ago, but Hestia's still up there with Caradoc. He's been a handful," she commented dryly. She didn't blame him, though. If her little siblings had almost gotten killed she would blame herself too. She _did_ blame herself. "I should have gone with them."

"Emmie, you couldn't have. You were on duty, remember? And you might have gotten hurt if you'd been there."

"Better me than a couple of eleven year olds," Emmeline commented lowly.

Benjy looked like he was about to refute that and then stopped. "If I disagree with that you'll hit me," he said ruefully.

"Benjy."

"Exactly. Don't make that accusing face at me, little sister. You're the only family I've got. I love the Dearborn twins, I really do, but you're my first priority." He managed a little laugh, then continued. "Besides, if you get hurt I have to kill Prewett, remember?"

Emmeline smiled and leaned her forehead to his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. "Shut up," she said without meaning it. "Drink your tea and get some sleep."

She went upstairs later, carrying another cup of tea for Caradoc. She found him outside the makeshift hospital room that they'd set up in the Sea Tower, his head on his hands. "Hey," she said, kneeling down in front of him.

He gave a noncommittal grunt in response.

With a sigh, Emmeline stood up. "Come on, you need some fresh air." She could still taste the tang of blood in the air, or maybe that was just an overactive imagination. They all had those now though. Every bang in the air was an enemy's wand, every crash something to be frightened of. Caradoc seemed to be about to protest before Emmeline pulled him upright and towed him up the stairs.

She led him out to the observatory, one of the only places in the Tower that hadn't been transformed into something for the war. She handed him his tea which he took, looking out at the stormy ocean blankly. It might have been August, but it was windy and cold, the sky grey. It suited Emmeline's mood, and the mood over the whole Tower.

"It's my fault," he said unexpectedly. Emmeline responded quickly, because she knew that if he got started down that train of thought he'd never get back on track.

"No," she said on the heels of his comment. "No, it's not, and don't you start blaming yourself for it."

"They're my little brother and sister, Emm. I'm responsible for what happens to them. They got hurt. It's my fault." He wasn't exactly unscathed either, she knew. A series of angry red welts ran down his left arm, and his left calf had a white bandage around it.

"It's not your fault. Blame the ones who are really responsible, and their master. It would only be your fault if you had knowingly brought them into danger."

"I did, though. They… they need to stay here now. Outside isn't safe."

Emmeline shook her head to herself, knowing that he wasn't watching her, and then said slowly, "You know, Benjy didn't want me to go back to Hogwarts my sixth year. Or my seventh year."

"I know what you're trying to say, Emm, and it's different for us. You were almost of age—they're barely eleven. They just got their wands."

"Caradoc, don't bar them from Hogwarts."

"It's safer here."

"It's safer wherever Dumbledore is, and he's going to be at Hogwarts more than here. If you don't let them go… look, even my house isn't safe. You saw what happened to the last headquarters. They'll find this one eventually, and they'll rain down hell. Here isn't safe."

"Nowhere is safe, then."

She shook her head. "But we make do with what we have. Let them go, Caradoc. You'll regret it if you don't, and they might resent it. Benjy hated letting me go back, but he knew it was best."

Caradoc sighed, a deep one that let Emmeline know he'd given in. She kissed his cheek, then left him alone in the observatory. He needed time, she knew, and she wanted to see the twins.

Letting herself into the makeshift hospital, she let the door click shut behind her. Hestia seemed to be asleep on her feet, and Emmeline cleared her throat so as to not startle her friend. "Oh, Emm, hi."

"Go get yourself some food, Hes," Emmeline said. "And some sleep."

"But…"

"I'll keep an eye on them." She had hardly taken her eyes off of the two small figures sleeping under clean white sheets. Neatly wrapped white bandages showed her clearly where they were hurt, and it killed her to see Ziggy's head wrapped up. She touched his hand lightly as Hestia exited the room, the door clicking once more.

Emmeline didn't know how long she sat there before a light pressure at her fingertips made her blink. Her eyes darted up to Ziggy's face and she smiled at him as his brown eyes opened slightly. "Hey kid," she whispered, trying not to disturb Augusta.

He opened his mouth to say something and then winced. Emmeline shook her head. "No, don't talk. You took a pretty nasty blow to the head. That means you'll make a great Beater though, if you can handle that." She choked back a sob at the little smile that touched his face. This shouldn't have happened!

A creak in the door made her look over at it but it was only Bludger, padding across the floor. She snapped her fingers above the bed and the cat leapt up, purring loud enough for Zacharias to hear. "Bludger missed you last night."

"Emm?" A cracked, hoarse voice said in a dry whisper from the other bed.

"Auggy," Emmeline said gratefully, turning a little to look at the young girl. "Thank Merlin."

"What hap'nd?" She asked. Emmeline transfigured a small shell into a glass and filled it with water from her wand, then handed it to the young Dearborn.

"Death Eaters attacked you," Emmeline said slowly, keeping her voice quiet. "Your brother saved you, and Fabian and Gideon helped bring you back here. Benjy helped them beat off the attackers but then he lost them. He was trying to follow them back to their homes so we could catch them, but he lost the trail." She stopped for a minute to collect herself. "We were… we were all really worried about you."

Another creak of the door, and Caradoc stood next to her in a flash. "Zig, Aug," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Emmeline left them then, knowing that they needed time as a family.

Things were tense over the next few weeks. When Auggy complained about being inside the house all the time, no less than five people accompanied her and her brother outside for a walk. All of them had their wands gripped tightly, and two people were on brooms.

Emmeline leaned back against the grass on the sunny day that they were outside watching the kids. It was a rare day because most of the younger Order members were there. She closed her eyes and listened to the voices of her friends, glad for a moment to relax. She heard footsteps beside her and then Benjy flopped down on the grass as well, although he didn't lay all the way down. She scooted her back over to lean against him, then opened her eyes and squinted upwards at him.

"You have to leave again soon, don't you?" She asked quietly, watching Caradoc showing his sister how to hold her wand properly.

"So eager to get rid of me?"

"That's not what I mean and you know it." He grinned down at her. She tried to match the look and failed, causing him to brush his hand along her dark hair lightly. "Seriously though… how long will you be gone?"

"A month, hopefully less."

"You'll miss seeing the twins off to Hogwarts."

"Take a picture for me, alright?" Emmeline nodded and closed her eyes again. Caradoc's voice seemed more strained, more weary, as he joked with his little brother, and she couldn't blame him. Benjy was passing off as unconcerned and lighthearted, but Emmeline knew it was only for her benefit.

"I don't like this," she muttered lowly. Benjy looked down at her but she cut him off before he could form a question. Night was creeping slowly over the ocean below them and she had the night patrol. Emmeline smiled tightly at her best friend and said, "I'll explain later."

Once inside her room, she stripped down to her bra and underwear. Being so high up in the Tower, she didn't care about leaving her curtains open. Rolling her shoulders, she strapped a wand holster onto her shin, buckling it around the back of her calf. She slid one of the extra wands the Order kept into it and then pulled on a dark set of pants and sweater. Robes were wonderful and the traditionalists among the Order refused to be seen in anything but them, but Emmeline and several others preferred the freedom of movement offered by more Muggle-ish clothing.

She knew it would be warm outside for a time, what with the lingering heat of the sunny day, but she pulled a dark blue cloak around her shoulders nonetheless. It would be cold later, and Benjy wouldn't let her leave the house without one anyway. After picking up her own wand again, Emmeline descended the stairs and made a sandwich in the kitchen. Auggy and Ziggy, plus their guards, had come back inside. Emmeline winced as she saw the light tracing of a scar down the side of Ziggy's head, then looked down at her food.

Suddenly she wasn't hungry, but she made herself eat because she knew that there wouldn't be any food for the next few hours. She felt like she was swallowing rubber and finished off as quickly as she could stomach, then washed her hands.

"Ready to go?" A rough but pleasant voice asked. Emmeline nodded up a few inches at Edgar Bones, and he held the door for her.

Once she'd sealed off the gates they Disapparated to Godric's Hollow. Like she'd predicted, the heat of the day lingered on the air as they began walking. Edgar seemed as relaxed as Benjy had been, and Emmeline was grateful for it. He was just a few years older than Benjy, but he already had a family. His wedding ring glinted softly on his finger, a simple gold band. He smiled down at her, friendly even though they'd never really talked. "So, Emmeline," he said quietly. "How are the young Dearborns doing?" Part of remaining inconspicuous on their patrol was to seem like they belonged out on the streets. Idle chatter was the norm for this.

"They're fine. Excited about Hogwarts."

A swift grin flashed in the dark. "Of course they are. I can't wait to send my own there. Susan's not as excited as I am, but she wants them to stay babies forever."

"How old are your children?"

"Eddie just turned five, Thea is three, and Alastor is nineteen months."

"Alastor?"

Edgar shrugged, somewhat sheepishly. "Moody's a great man. Anyway, you know it's a wizarding world thing to name everyone after everyone else. Where does your name come from?"

Emmeline nodded. "I guess I see what you mean. My mother's best friend was named Emma. I was almost named after Professor McGonagall, but Sybella comes from my grandmother on my dad's side of the family."

A couple passed them, but neither pair made eye contact. Edgar sighed, running a hand through his hair. He reminded Emmeline so much of Benjy when he did that. "Tough times, Emmeline."

"Call me Emm." Her words were almost torn out of her mouth as he grabbed her and pressed her up against a wall, wand appearing in his hand. She stifled a gasp of shock, knowing that he wouldn't do something like this unless there was danger.

"Did you hear that?" He hissed, mouth about four inches from her ear.

Emmeline shook her head in response, but he wasn't paying attention as he looked out around the corner and into the street. She waited, fingering her wand. "I don't see anything, but that only means that I don't see anything. I definitely heard something, though."

"What?"

"I don't know. A cloak, something disturbed… someone doesn't want to be found. Stay quiet."

There was a reason Emmeline liked going on patrols with older, more experienced wizards. The Prewett twins were wonderful, of course, as were the Potters and the Longbottoms, but there was a sense of security when she was out with Moody or Aberforth or Dorcas Meadowes. Minerva McGonagall was extremely reassuring as well. And Benjy, always with Benjy.

Edgar was still tense as he looked back at her. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then come on." He pulled her up gently and linked their arms together, hiding his tightly gripped wand in the folds of their cloaks. Emmeline carried her own down at her side, also tucked away. "Don't look to the sides of the street, alright?" He breathed into her ear.

"Alright." She kept her eyes fixed forward with a dogged determination, but that only lasted a few moments before the night exploded. She found herself pressed up against another wall, Edgar holding her in place with an iron-rigid arm across her chest. His other hand was brandishing his wand, shooting off spells.

She might have liked the feeling of security, but that didn't mean she was helpless. From her somewhat awkward position, she took a tighter grip on her own wand and shouted a spell, illuminating the alley in a burst of light. Edgar let go of her and she looked around, getting a quick grip on the situation. Their attackers—four? no, three—were in black clothing.

One was down already and Emmeline was both impressed and exceedingly grateful for Edgar's quick reflexes. And speaking of those, a swift glance behind her showed a curse burn in the wall where she'd been standing before he'd moved her. "Remind me to thank you later!" She shouted, before turning her wand on one of the two attacking him.

She couldn't see his face because of the mask, of course, but in a way that helped. The mask made him less human, even though it was grotesque. She narrowed her eyes, imagining that it was this particular one who had attacked the Dearborns. She let out a yelp as he whipped his wand at her, and she dodged a flash of purple light. "_Confringo_!" she shouted, aiming at her opponent but hitting the wall behind him. The spell caused the wall to blast apart, and a shower of bricks and mortar rained down on the Death Eater.

Momentarily shocked, Emmeline turned around to see Edgar casting his last spell, the Death Eater spitting blood and then falling over. Edgar swiftly disarmed him, and Emmeline looked back at the pile of bricks, before saying softly, "_Accio_ wand." It shot into her hand, and even though she disliked the feel of it, she pocketed it anyway.

"You alright?" Edgar asked. He had a slash across his bicep and was limping as he moved slowly towards her.

Emmeline nodded. "Let's go home. The others need to know. Someone else can take the rest of the patrol tonight." Edgar managed a strained grin and then Emmeline took charge. "Lean on me," she commanded. As he did so, she turned them on the spot, reappearing outside the gates to the Sea Tower.

There were only a few lights on, illuminating the lawn with a soft golden light that fell in splotches. Emmeline whispered passwords and spells and tapped out rhythms on the gate before it clicked. She nudged it open with her hip, then guided Edgar through. Kicking it shut she helped him up the lane, then thudded her foot against the door.

"Who's there?" A rough voice barked out a few seconds later.

"Caradoc, for the love of all that you hold dear, let us in."

"Emm?" The lock clicked and he opened the door. "Oh, Merlin, Emm," Caradoc moved forward and slung Edgar Bones's arm around his own shoulders, leaving Emmeline to walk in on her own. "What happened?"

"Ambush. Three of them." She collapsed into a chair, the lack of adrenaline suddenly making itself known. "We've got a Healer on duty tonight, right?"

"Hestia's here," the witch named herself as she breezed down the staircase, going immediately over to Edgar. "I really wish you people would stop getting so banged up," the perpetually cheerful little witch said as she ran her wand over Edgar's leg.

"It's not by choice, Hes," Emmeline said wearily. "I don't have much fun with it either." This was the first time she'd actually been hurt, but she'd seen the results of other patrols.

"Emmie?" Benjy paused at the floor of the stairs and then hurried over to her, kneeling down. "Emmie, oh, sweet Merlin…"

"What?" She asked as he ran a hand along her hairline, something unreadable in his eyes. His fingers came away red, and he looked at them like he couldn't believe it.

Emmeline raised her own hand to her forehead and felt something tacky and warm. She pulled her hand down and wiped it on her pants. "Hestia, when you've got a moment…"

"Be right there, Emm."

Benjy was still looking at his red stained fingers. "Benjy?" Emmeline questioned. "Hey, Benjy." She made him meet her eyes by using her left hand to cup his chin, and he seemed dazed. "What's wrong?"

"They hurt you."

"We're fighting a war."

"But they _hurt_ you."

He appeared to be thinking hard about something, so Emmeline didn't say anything as Hestia came over with a clean white cloth and a bottle of green potion. Her Healer friend poured the potion onto the cloth and started cleaning Emmeline's cut.

Suddenly Benjy clenched his fist. "They hurt you," he declared again. "I'll be back." He leaned down and kissed her cheek, then strode towards the door.

"_Alohomora_," he muttered.

"_Colloportus_." Emmeline said calmly, pointing her wand at the door.

With a glare, he looked back at her. "What the hell, Emmie? _Alohomora_."

"_Colloportus_."

"_Alohomora_."

"_Colloportus_. We can do this all night."

Frustrated, he turned around. "Why aren't you letting me go?"

"Because you're being irrational." She stood up and walked over to the door as well, leaning against it. "I know you're… unhappy that I've been hurt, but we're fighting a bloody war here, Benjy."

"But it doesn't have to—it shouldn't be _your_ blood."

"But it is. And it was Auggy and Ziggy and Caradoc and yours a month ago, and who knows whose it will be next time. Merlin, Benjy, it was your blood last time. Do you know how hard that was for me? And then the kids, and Caradoc blaming himself…" Caradoc looked slightly awkward. Emmeline had almost forgotten that they had an audience.

"But I promised to protect you."

"You're always going to protect me."

"No, you don't get it. I swore to your father, Emm. Your first day of school, I swore to him that I'd always protect you. Any harm you had done to you I'd do to the person stupid enough to hurt you. I couldn't get them last time, but I can now. Let me go. I'll find them."

"What do you mean, last time?"

"When you got attacked in third year."

"Would you let that drop?"

"You still have scars!" He shouted, voice suddenly loud. Then he quieted, and he let out a choked sob. "You still have scars."

He was gone the next morning, and Emmeline woke with a heavy heart. She slid out of bed and put on a loose housedress, then went downstairs. "Hey Alice," she said, surprised to see her best friend.

"Hi Emm."

"What are you doing here so early?"

"I heard about Benjy leaving, and I thought you might like some company."

"Oh."

Alice frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Benjy and I… oh, I don't know. Merlin, he's so damn protective all the time."

"Do you blame him?" Alice sighed as Emmeline rolled her eyes. "You're family. And really… you're his only family. He's been living here practically since you first met, your parents were better to him than his own were. It stands to reason that he's fiercely protective of his little sister."

"But I'm not a child."

"But you'll always be his little sister."

Emmeline was silent for a while, then sighed. "Anyway, I highly doubt that's what you're here to talk about. What's going on?"

"Are you still taking Augusta and Zacharias to the station in two days?"

"Of course."

"Would you like an extra wand along? Frank has to work for the next three days straight, and I hate it when the flat is empty."

Emmeline smiled. "We'd love to have you. And why don't you just stay here while Frank is gone? With the twins and some others gone, it'll be really quiet." She didn't say Benjy's name. She didn't know how she felt about him.

"I'd like that, thanks Emm."

Two days later, Emmeline flagged down the Knight Bus to take them to the train. She watched as Caradoc shrunk his siblings' trunks in order for them to be carried more easily, and she felt a pang as she remembered Benjy doing the same. These two would have each other, just like she and Benjy had each other. Augusta would grow and become beautiful, and Zacharias would chase the boys off with a broom and some well placed hexes. They would make everyone who knew them proud—Auggy the star Seeker, and Ziggy the best Beater, doing greater than even Benjy had done.

She pulled out a camera and shouted for everyone to get close. Caradoc knelt with an arm around the twins' shoulders. Alice stood to the back, Fabian and Gideon flanking her. Emmeline asked a parent to take the picture and the woman complied with a smile. She ran over to where Fabian was standing and yelped as he swept her into his arms. She almost kicked an amused Gideon in the face, but the picture was caught and they were all laughing in it.

She smiled at the younger twins as they came over to give her a hug after the picture. "You two are going to do wonderfully. Don't forget to write, and I'll see you at Christmas, alright?"

Auggy nodded and then went back to her brother, but Ziggy hesitated. "I'm scared, Emm."

"Shh. Don't be. You're going to be brilliant, you hear? I'll help you train lots and lots next summer, so you can make the House team. It doesn't matter what House you're in either." She squeezed him tightly and then stepped back, ruffling his hair. "Go on. And… Zig?" He blinked up at her, eyes more innocent than anything she saw these days and yet still tinted with sadness. "Take care of your sister. She'll always need you." He nodded and walked off, squaring his small shoulders.

Emmeline stood with a sigh, then leaned into him as Fabian's arms encircled her waist. "Come with me," he murmured softly. She nodded and told Caradoc they'd would meet up later at the Tower, then followed Fabian out of the station. He led her to a small alley and then took her arm and Disapparated, reappearing outside the Leaky Cauldron.

"Romantic," Emmeline commented dryly. Fabian rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, we're going into the Alley." She grinned and followed him. Their relation wasn't exactly conventional, but he knew that he didn't have to woo her anymore with flowery words. Not that she objected when he did so, but after knowing the Prewett twins for the majority of her life, she was used to a combination of insults and flattery.

He took her down a small, twisting road off the main branch of Diagon Alley. They ended up at a little cafe where they ordered sandwiches and tea. "This is nice," Emmeline said.

"I come here during work sometimes, when I don't want to go home. Of course, usually I don't want to go home because Gid's eaten everything in the cupboards."

"Only Gideon eats at your house?"

"Shut up," he said again.

"You're going to need some better insults, Fabe." She leaned back in her seat, enjoying the sunlight and grateful that the café had outdoor seating.

"Anything for you, lovely." He shot a teasing grin at her and then sobered. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh?"

He nodded. "What happened with you and Ben last night?"

Emmeline sighed. "He's protective. I appreciate that, and Merlin knows I love him, but sometimes… he needs to realize that he can't protect me all the time."

"But he can try, and when he fails he kills himself about it. I know the feeling."

"Oh no, not you too."

Fabian gave her a weird smile. "It's not you. Don't get me wrong, I love you and care for you, but… every time I see Gideon hurt, it's like something in me is screaming. It's like that for you too, but on a milder scale, because Gid's my brother and my best friend. And Benjy's your brother and best friend. Plus, you're his little sister. It's his duty to protect you from everything. Remember when he was going on about you being a nun? I swear that's the only part of Muggle Studies he paid attention in, just because he thought it was such a good idea for you. He wants you safe and, failing that, he wants to kill everything that has the potential to hurt you. And now, since something has hurt you, he blames himself. You saw how Caradoc was with Auggy and Ziggy.

"It's the same story," Fabian continued. "Your parents died and he couldn't save you from that. Then someone attacked you in your third year and he was helpless. Like he said, you've still got the scars. Every time he looks at those he remembers how he failed you, and failed that promise to your father. And then you go and block him from taking his revenge, and he sees that as anger towards him, and he doesn't want you mad at him but he knows that there's no way around that if he still wants to be able to sleep at night. Cut him a little slack, okay?"

It took a moment before Emmeline realized that Fabian had stopped speaking. Then she scowled lightly. "How do you know all this?"

"Remember, I have a brother too. And I know he can take care of himself, but we've always looked out for each other. When he's hurt and I can't do anything about it…" Fabian shrugged. "I feel like I've failed him."

"Benjy can't protect me forever, though."

"Maybe not, but try explaining that to him."

Emmeline sighed. "I can't explain anything until he gets back."

Fabian smiled crookedly at her. "Just think hard about what you do say, alright?"

"How'd you know what he said last night anyway?"

"I sleep on the first floor. You weren't exactly being silent in your argument. Anyway, Hestia told me all of it. She worries about everyone too much."

A few days later, she cleared away the plates from dinner. A small group of Order members had congregated at her house, Fabian among them. Gideon and Peter had duty that night minding the base of operations, and Emmeline was grateful for the reprieve. Both she and Fabian had the night off, which was rare, and they ended up in the small observatory, cool night air drifting through the open windows.

Fabian was lying on the floor and Emmeline nestled herself into his side, sharing warmth. It was so peaceful. Emmeline could almost let herself think that there wasn't a war, that people weren't dying, but then she remembered Benjy, out Merlin-knew-where doing Merlin-knew-what.

Sighing, she sat up. "What's wrong?" Fabian asked.

Biting her lip, she said quietly, "Promise me something."

"Anything."

"No, hear me out before you say that." Fabian sat up as well, looking at her. She didn't meet his eyes though, and gazed out at the calm sea. "I've been thinking lately. Especially since Edgar and I were attacked on patrol. Fabian…"

"Yes?"

"If I die, will you keep living?"

He was silent for a moment, then asked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, if I die before this war is over, I want to know that you're not going to stop living. If I die, I want you to move on." He wasn't saying anything and Emmeline got a bit nervous. "You're young and believe me, I've got no plans of dying. I don't want to die and leave you, believe me. But if I do… I just don't want you to waste your life because…"

"Because?"

"Because you loved me. Self-sacrifice isn't love."

He wrapped her in a sudden hug. "Oh, Emmie-mine Vance, you have no idea how much I love you."

"Do you promise?"

"Only if you do. But, for the record, if you die I will never forgive you."

"You too."

The weather had turned grey by the time Benjy came home. He arrived late at night, though Emmeline was still up. A knock sounded at the door and she went to go answer it, eyes widening slightly as she looked at him. Then, forestalling anything he might have been about to say, she launched herself at him, hugging him tightly and burying her face in his chest.

"Hey, Emmie, shh," Benjy said, easing his way inside and shutting the door.

"I'm sorry," she murmured into his sweater.

"Come on, little sister, don't cry."

"'M not crying," she muttered, trying to subtly wipe her eyes as she pulled away from him.

He grinned at her. "Sure you're not. Now, who do I have to beat up for making you sad?"

"Beat me up for being an idiot." At his skeptical look she sighed. "No, really. I'm sorry for telling you to not care so much. I feel like I'm grown up, but I guess I'll always be your little sister."

"Yeah, you will," came the uncompromising response. "I'm not going to apologize from wanting to keep you safe from the world, Emmie."

"But you can't keep me safe forever."

"Watch me." His voice was still unbending, and it was reassuring and somewhat frightening at the same time. "I will protect you and defend you until I die, and even then, I'll find some way."

"That's only mildly disturbing, you know."

"Good," he said with a cheeky grin, destroying the soberness of the situation. "If it was anything more than mildly we'd have a problem."

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The review button is the button of love!


	9. A Phoenix and a Blackbird

Another chapter, just before I go to college... yeesh, I'm horrid about updating this. Ah well. This chapter was hard to write... and thanks to my reviews! I'll get around to answering them eventually, hopefully soon.

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"I'll get back to you later Alice," Emmeline said with a glance backwards. Her head was stuck in the fireplace and she gave her friend a worried smile. "Something's come up here."

Her friend nodded, waving little baby Neville's hand. "Say good bye to Auntie Emm, Neville!" Emmeline grinned at her godson and then pulled her head out of the fire. She stood up, wincing as her knees registered a protest while she turned around. Her godson was almost a year old and adorable as heck, and he (and Lily and James's son, of course) had been giving the Order new reasons to fight since their births, within a few days of each other last July.

However, Emmeline didn't have time to dwell on the past. Caradoc stood in the entry hall. It was a mark of how the war was affecting them all that people weren't fussing over the blood on him. Hestia was seeing to a large cut on his back, but other than that, nothing. "Caradoc, what's going on?"

"Death Eaters," he said, wincing as Hestia dabbed some green liquid onto his back. "They attacked in Surrey. There're Ministry teams there now, cleaning up the mess, but… Merlin, it was awful."

"Surrey… isn't that where the Bones family lives? Did you see Edgar?"

"No. Marlene's still there, she sent me back to let you know."

"We need a better system of communicating. I'm going," Emmeline said, heading for the door. "Caradoc, go let the twins know you're all right. Fabian, Gideon, stay here and hold down the fort."

"Like hell," Fabian said, rising from his seat at the kitchen counter. "Come on, Gid."

"Fine. Hestia, can you look after the place?" The cheerful witch nodded. "Remus, would you mind staying here as well?" Emmeline enjoyed having a full house, and no one wanted to be alone if they didn't have to, so there was usually someone there. Several someones, if they were lucky.

Delegating had never been her strong point, but there weren't any of the older Order members around to do it. Benjy was off on some secret mission again, Caradoc was hurt, and Dorcas Meadowes was probably already on the scene. Merlin only knew where Dumbledore was, and the while the younger members didn't mind, the older Order members didn't seem to like hanging around headquarters more than was necessary. Even though she didn't blame them, it made times like these difficult. Emmeline opened the door and led the way, a small group following her.

They Disapparated as one, reappearing onto streets that seemed like they had bomb craters in them. Marlene McKinnon strode up, brushing her hair out of her eyes and leaving a streak of blood across her forehead. The other witch had no problem with delegation, and quickly dispatched the small group to clean up work. "Emmeline, come with me. Sirius, you as well." Sirius and Emmeline exchanged glances, then followed Marlene.

"We need to find out what happened with the Bones family," she said lowly. "There's been no trace of them. Aurors are at their house now, but the family's not there." Emmeline bit her lip at the sound of this. She still didn't know the Bones family well, besides an acquaintance with Edgar for things to do with the Order, but having the whole family missing wasn't a comforting thought.

Marlene pointed. "There's the house. Start scanning the area. We don't know anything—there's no trail, but there was an anti-Apparation barrier over the whole house." The house was disgorging black smoke, although it had clearly been worse judging from the damage sustained. The Dark Mark shown high above the small place, and Marlene scowled. "Damned filthy…" she muttered, pointing her wand at it. A glowing light appeared at the center, spreading outwards until the skull was gone.

"I hate that thing," Marlene scowled. Emmeline and Sirius nodded their agreement, but they were already sweeping the small grove of trees with their wands, looking for signs of life.

"Hey, Mar…" Sirius started, looking off into the woods. "I've got something."

Both the witches hurried over to him and then followed him into the dappled light. When he suddenly stopped, Emmeline almost ran into him. "Oh Merlin," he said in a choked voice, lowering his wand.

With a welling sense of horror as she got a look at Sirius's face, Emmeline looked into a small clearing. There were signs of a fight on the surrounding trees, blast marks and splintered wood. There were also splatters of something Emmeline easily, if not willingly, identified as blood. The early morning summer light hung over the clearing, a mockery of the scene.

Slowly Emmeline felt her eyes drift downward. _No_…

Lying on the ground, arm thrown across his eldest son… Eddie, his name was Eddie… was Edgar Bones. His eyes were open and staring, blood dried on a million wounds. His wife was fallen not far from him, arms around their younger two children. She had curse marks in her back and had fallen on her front, Emmeline noted with some part of her mind that wasn't reeling in shock, that meant she had been running. Her youngest son was still cradled in the crook of her arm, her daughter gripping her hand.

Emmeline felt tears welling up, hot and boiling. "No," she managed to whisper before they came pouring out of her eyes, a storm of grief for this family that she had barely known. She fell to her knees, unable to draw any closer.

"Merlin," Marlene said, voice hard and yet seeming on the very verge of caving in at the same time. "Merlin, they were just kids." She turned around and let out a shout of despair that echoed around the small clearing. "Damned sons of… no, dammit, NO!" She shouted again, this time a wordless scream of rage, and aimed her wand at the sky, screaming a spell. "_Orior ignis avis_!"

A great shape tore from her wand, its wings beating as it ascended. A flaming phoenix rose above the clearing, throwing everything into sharp relief—the bloodstains around them and on the bodies themselves, the curse marks on the trees, Emmeline's tears, Sirius's dumbstruck face and Marlene's fury. The symbol hung there on the air, and Emmeline could hear shouts as people saw it.

They didn't matter. None of this mattered. Marlene had collapsed on the ground as well, her shoulders shaking with a desperate rage. Emmeline could hear her, but it seemed so distant. Sirius was leaning against a tree and she looked at him with dead eyes, looking through him more than anything.

It wasn't the first of the casualties. It wouldn't be the last; no one was stupid enough to delude themselves into that. But the kids… Emmeline hadn't thought, or maybe she had and she just didn't want to think about it, that the Death Eaters would go after kids. Go after with the intent to kill. There had been Auggy and Ziggy, but how could anyone want to kill children? How could anyone _do_ that? The youngest couldn't have been more than three. And now he was staring at the sky, the same sky that he would never see again, congealed blood thick on his chest.

There were more people in the clearing now. Aurors, looking official in their robes and Healers checking the bodies. Ministry officials were scurrying about and yet little of it registered. Even Fabian crushing her into his chest, trying to stem the flow of tears and be supportive, couldn't help. Eventually he got her to stand up. Dazedly, she looked across the clearing and saw Gideon taking Marlene's hand, Sirius having to help subdue her.

Fabian Apparated them back to the Tower, releasing the locks and enchantments on the gate. "Come on Emm, shh…" he said, guiding her inside. A sudden burst of noise told her that Marlene was back as well, still fighting.

All of them hurried into the house, even though Marlene had to be more or less dragged.

Hestia greeted them with a gasp. Rushing forward, she looked over them with a Healer's eye and then, determining that nothing was physically, she demanded, "What happened?" of the Prewett twins.

"The Bones family is dead," a dull voice said. Emmeline took a minute to register it as her own. Marlene's shrieks of anger suddenly turned back into sobs and she sank into a chair. Fabian, Gideon, and Sirius confirmed it with grim nods, then Sirius sat down shakily as well.

"Damn," he said softly, the first thing he'd said since they'd found the scene. Or was it? Emmeline didn't know if he had or hadn't talked. Ever since Marlene had sent the phoenix into the air… or maybe before that… she could hear a dull roar, and nothing more. Or maybe she could hear and it was simply that nothing was important.

Turning around, she buried her face in Fabian's shirt. Her hands gripped his shoulders with a despairing helplessness as she cried herself out.

Emmeline didn't know when she fell asleep. She woke up in her room, the night dark outside. She could feel the dried tears on her face, and she knew she must be a mess, but she pulled herself out of bed anyway. She slipped her feet into a pair of slippers and pulled on one of Benjy's Quidditch shirts, with a furious-looking black and yellow wasp on it.

She went down the stairs slowly, not wanting to wake anyone. One of the clocks showed her that it was past one in the morning. The dark-haired witch didn't know who was on duty tonight, but she hoped it would be someone that she didn't know all that well.

It turned out to be Alastor Moody, who, despite seeming to like her because he liked her father, still frightened her slightly. "Emmeline," he greeted gruffly.

"Good evening… morning," she said wearily, with a half-hearted attempt at a smile. She rummaged around in the cabinets, finally extracting a bottle of something amber. Pulling out a glass from the cupboard, she poured herself a glass. Belatedly remembering her manners, she coughed. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Never take drinks from an open bottle unless you've opened it yourself," he commanded. His tone was so demanding that she couldn't help but nod, then passed him the bottle. "And never drink while on duty!" He finished.

She pulled the bottle back, then gulped down her drink on one go. It seared her throat and burned a way down to her stomach, filling her with warmth. But she was still cold, emotionally at least. Shivering slightly, she turned around and walked back upstairs with the bottle, passing her room and going all the way up to the observatory instead.

Being out in the cool night air didn't help her with the shivering, but it was refreshing. She looked down at the bottle still in her hand, then took a swig from it, not even bothering with the cup.

"Oh," a quiet voice said at the entrance to the observatory. "Sorry."

"No, Marlene, you can come in." Marlene's voice was raw and hoarse from her screaming earlier, and Emmeline could tell it was her without looking around.

"Give me that," Marlene demanded. Emmeline handed over the bottle, still about half full. "You know," the other witch continued after she finished taking a drink of the firewhiskey, "this is a bad habit for you to get into."

"Does it help?"

"For a time."

"Then give it back." They passed the bottle back and forth between them until it was gone, not saying anything.

"It's not the parents," Marlene muttered slowly. "Well, I mean, it is. I love—loved Edgar, and Susan was like my sister. But… those kids. Kids don't have to die like that! They shouldn't! If we'd known—if we'd gotten there a little earlier—if Edgar had had the chance to send for help—" She started pacing, eyes staring fixatedly at the floor.

Emmeline said nothing. Marlene McKinnon was famous (or infamous) for her passion about things. It made her a wonderful addition to the Order of the Phoenix, but she went into things with her heart, not her head. She could be rash and impulsive, and, coupled with the amount and strength of her magic, it was sometimes a dangerous combination. She didn't appear to have her wand, which was a relief, but any witch or wizard could do wandless magic if angry or emotionally charged enough. And Marlene was certainly emotionally charged.

"I'm going to find them and destroy them," she declared lowly. "All of them who think it's perfectly alright to kill children."

She stalked out of the observatory, still carrying the bottle. Emmeline didn't watch her go, instead staring out at the ocean.

Augusta and Zacharias Dearborn had been the same age as Edgar's eldest when their parents were attacked. The difference there was that their parents had had more of a chance. There were fewer Death Eaters. They had had more warning. And Auggy and Ziggy had lived.

Emmeline felt a sob welling up but she stifled it, wanting more firewhiskey.

She woke up on the floor of the observatory, stiff and with a headache. She felt like groaning but she knew that that would only make it worse, and so she sat up slowly instead, trying to keep the world from spinning.

Going down the stairs was hard, as they spun in a tight spiral. She almost fell coming off of them, but she managed to stagger to an upright position, then let herself down into a chair.

"Here," an arm pushed a cup of warm, thankfully not hot, tea onto a small table next to her. She looked upward, blearily meeting a pair of amused grey eyes. Gideon. Emmeline tried a smile and then closed her eyes against the headache. "Take it easy, Emm."

She didn't nod, but instead asked, mouth thick like it had a bunch of cotton in it, "What time is it?"

"Ten in the morning. I'm surprised to see you up, actually. I'll go get the hangover potion, hold on a minute." He stood up and walked away, seeming careful to keep his steps light.

When he came back he poured something into her tea, then watched as she drank it. "You know, that stuff will kill you."

"Not yet."

"And it's a bad habit to get into."

"Marlene told me, yeah." Her headache was starting to go away, and she allowed herself a yawn without a pounding behind her eyes.

Gideon frowned slightly. "When did she tell you that?"

"Last night, when we were drinking up in the observatory. Why?"

"Because she's not here now, and I've been on duty since four this morning. I haven't seen her, and Moody said he only saw you last night."

Emmeline loved the fact that her headache was going away, but it brought back the memory of the reason she had it in the first place. And now this… "Are you sure she's not just up in her room somewhere? Or in someone else's room?"

He scowled, and she belatedly remember that he and Marlene had a… thing. "No. Most people are up, and no one's seen her. Did she say anything about leaving last night?"

Emmeline bit her lip. "It's kind of a blur, but… she was angry. Really angry. She was talking about the kids…" Emmeline drifted off, swallowing a Quaffle-sized lump in her throat. "She said she was going to… oh no. No, she wouldn't be so rash."

"What? Emm, what has she done?" His voice was slowly descending into controlled panic.

Emmeline stood up, the last traces of her hangover washed out by ice-cold reality. "She said she was going to find the Death Eaters responsible and kill them. Then she left the observatory. I didn't think to follow her…"

Gideon swore. Emmeline hurried over to the cloak rack by the door and put one on. It wasn't hers, but she didn't care. The redhead shouted up the stairs, voice echoing. "All of you, whoever's here, get down here now! We've got an emergency!"

Footsteps thundered down the stairs. "What's going on?" Fabian asked.

Dorcas Meadowes donned her own cloak. "What's happened? Who's been attacked?"

"I think Marlene's gone after the Death Eaters who killed the Bones family."

Dorcas blanched. "She's not that stupid…"

"Maybe not, but she's hotheaded and rash." Gideon opened the door. "I'm on duty, but…" It was more or less common knowledge that Marlene and Gideon were close, even if no one was exactly sure of what their relationship was.

"I'll stay," Caradoc volunteered. "I'll send out through the Floo as well." Emmeline nodded and followed Fabian out the door.

"Gideon, Hestia, go to the McKinnon Castle. Find out what's happening there. Dorcas, go to Surrey. She may have followed their trail… but I didn't think they left one. Emm, come with me," Fabian said. "We're checking on Alice."

The four others nodded and Disapparated, all at the same time. Emmeline reappeared outside a small, cozy-looking house in Upper Flagley. Emmeline strode up and knocked on the door.

"Emm!" Alice said, greeting her as she balanced baby Neville on her hip.

"Emm!" The little boy echoed. Emmeline smiled at him, then looked at her best friend urgently.

"Alice, have you seen Marlene recently?"

"She came by this morning, why?"

"What did she say?" Emmeline demanded.

Alice looked a little confused. "She let us know about the Bones family, and then swore that nothing like that was going to happen to us. Why?"

"Because I think she's just gone off and done something incredibly rash. Was anyone else with her?"

"A few of our cousins."

"Did she say where she was going?"

"No, but she mentioned something about coming from Diagon Alley. Or maybe going there… I don't remember, I'm sorry."

Emmeline nodded. "Alright, thank you."

As she backed away Alice called, in a somewhat scared voice. "Emm, what's going on?"

Emmeline met her friend's scared eyes. "I don't know. I'll see you later."

Fabian and Emmeline Disapparated at the fence line, reappearing in the Alley itself. "Listen for screams," Emmeline said. Fabian nodded, his mouth in a grim line.

The Alley was very different from what it had been. Where there had once been brightly colored shop displays and people shouting left and right, there was now a sense of despondency and fear hanging over the place. Many shops were burned, or had blasted out windows. People didn't make eye contact as they passed each other in the street, keeping their heads low and hands gripped tightly around their wands. Emmeline drew her own as she followed Fabian down the Alley.

"This is stupid," he said after they'd gone a few hundred feet. "We'll never find her like this. We need a tracking method for everyone." Emmeline muttered agreement. "We need to split up," he continued. "Go to Surrey, see if you can find Dorcas. If she hasn't found anything, come meet me at McKinnon Castle. I'll catch up with Gid and Hestia."

Nodding, Emmeline gave him a swift kiss and then Disapparated. She looked around quickly when she appeared outside the ruined house where Ministry officials were still cleaning up. Spotting Dorcas, she hurried over. "Dorcas, have you found anything?"

"No. I'm assuming you haven't either."

"Sort of. She stopped by Alice's house this morning, and mentioned something about Diagon Alley. Fabe and I went there but searching that place is like getting a Niffler to find a rock."

Dorcas let a quick, humorless smile escape her lips. "In other words, bloody impossible."

"Fabian wants us to rendezvous with him at the McKinnon Castle." At Dorcas's nod, they Disapparated simultaneously.

Fabian met them at the gates of the Castle. There was an anti-Apparation ward around it, as there was around most places now, and he opened the gate so they could walk up the lane. "Gid and Hestia aren't here," he said bluntly. "But there are scorch marks on the doors and in the entry hall."

Dorcas swore. Fabian turned to Emmeline. "Emm, go back to the Tower and see if Caradoc's got any news. If there are others there who are ready to help, send them to Diagon Alley and get them searching. We'll split up again. Hestia, can you check who's been admitted to St. Mungo's the past few hours? It might give us a clue. Gid, go with her. Dorcas, we're going to Diagon Alley, and we're going to check a few off streets from it, is that alright with you?" Dorcas nodded. Fabian looked around the small group again, with a look of worry on his face that matched everyone else's. "See you all soon."

Emmeline walked back down to the gates and passed the anti-Apparation barrier before twisting herself into the crushing, squeezing dark. She appeared with a crack at the gates of the Sea Tower and almost ran up the lane after releasing the enchantments.

"Caradoc, have you found anything?"

Her friend was brushing soot off his collar. "I should be asking you that. People have showed up," he added unnecessarily. Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Minerva McGonagall, a rather unlikely group of people, were standing in Emmeline's living room.

"Oh, hi Professor," Emmeline greeted distractedly. "We're searching Diagon Alley. The Castle has signs of a fight but nothing more. Alice said Marlene stopped by that morning and mentioned something about the Alley. There was nothing at Surrey."

She was about to lead the way out the door again when Caradoc caught her arm. "Emm, no offense, but you look exhausted. So do you, Sirius. Why don't you two stay here and hold down the fort?"

Emmeline began to protest before he drowned her out by talking over her. "No, you look like you're about to fall over dead. Then we'd have to spare someone to bring you back. I've gotten a full night's sleep and I'm not killing a headache with hangover potion. Stay here."

Sirius shook his head and stubbornly exited, following the others. Emmeline scowled after him. "Traitor. But the moment I get someone to replace me, I'm out of here, got that?"

Caradoc gave her a brief, tight smile. "Fine then. But Benjy'll have my hide if anything happens to you."

As he turned to go, she grabbed his wrist. "Find her," she begged.

"I'll try."

The next few hours were some of the longest of Emmeline's life. She made the Dearborn twins lunch to pass some of it. It was a mark of how living in the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix was affecting them when they asked, "Who's in trouble?" rather than "What's going on?"

In a way, that saddened her. She would be glad when they were back at Hogwarts, shielded from the majority of the war. "Emm?" Auggy asked, cleaning her wand and sitting on the stairs. Emmeline looked up with a weary smile.

"Yes Aug?"

"When's Doc going to be back?"

"I don't know." The twelve year old sighed and nodded, then stood up. "I'm going to go read for a bit. Have you seen Ziggy?"

"I think he's upstairs." Emmeline watched Augusta go with a sad sigh. Kids deserved to be kids, outside playing Quidditch or something, not cooped up through the summer because there were people who would soon as kill them as look at them.

The fireplace suddenly roared green, and Dorcas's head appeared in it, a grim look on her face. "Emmeline?"

"Dorcas. Did you find…" Emmeline trailed off.

"Fabian's bringing Gideon back to your place. Once they get there, you need to leave. Get in contact with Dumbledore. I don't care if you have to go up to Hogwarts itself, just find him."

"What's happened?"

"We found Marlene." Her face told the rest of the story, and Emmeline choked back a sob.

"I… I'll find him." She looked around the house after Dorcas's head had vanished from the fireplace, summoning her broom. A crash at the door brought her head around to it; Fabian had just kicked it open. He was half-carrying, half-dragging an unconscious Gideon with him.

"Go, Emm. I'm fine, and he will be. Find Dumbledore. Tell him they're in west Surrey. Follow the… you'll see it."

She nodded and ran out of the house, Apparating directly to Hogsmeade, then leaping onto her broom and kicking off towards the hulking castle, looming on the horizon. At the gate she set down briefly and tapped it with her wand, then hastily shut it behind her as she jumped back onto her broom and flew up to the window outside, slowing to a floating stop in midair. Knocking against the window, it was only a moment before the familiar face of the Headmaster blinked up at her.

He opened the window and she spoke in a rush. "Sir, they've found Marlene. West Surrey, and I don't think… I don't know what's happened. But apparently you'll know where it is." Dumbledore nodded and summoned his own broom, kicking off from the window with surprising strength. Emmeline followed him for lack of anything else to do, and she wanted to know what had happened.

She tailed him as he Apparated to west Surrey, and she gasped at he blazing phoenix in the sky not a quarter of a mile away. It was the same one Marlene had shot into the sky upon finding the Bones family... and Emmeline had seen the other witch do it before. Hurrying towards it, she was still slower than the tall Headmaster, who was striding along with his robes billowing behind him.

There was a ragged circle of Order members, along with some Ministry forces. Emmeline caught a glimpse of bodies lying in unnatural positions on the ground before she had to practically catch Sirius, who stumbled against her. His face was grey and tight, and she braced him with her shoulder. Looking around, she closed her eyes and Apparated them both back to the Tower.

"Wha… Emm? Why're we 'ere?" Sirius blinked sleepily, staggering into her as they started to walk.

"Because you look like you're about to pass out. Stay the night here."

"Feels like 'm barely ever at m'own place, Emm."

"Well, it's not a bother at all to have people here. And neither you nor Remus can cook properly."

"You can't either."

"Shut up." She hauled him inside the door, coming face to face with a worried Fabian. "Fabe, can you take him upstairs? He hasn't slept since I don't know when."

"Dumbledore's there?"

Emmeline nodded, then headed into the kitchen to make tea as Fabian half-dragged, half-carried Sirius upstairs and into one of the multiple guest rooms. When he came back down she poured them both tea.

"Do you know what happened?" She asked quietly. He bit his lip and nodded, but didn't say anything. "Will you tell me, please?"

"Yeah, sorry. I don't know how they managed to find the Death Eaters, but they did. Marlene rounded up some of her cousins and they went off… I'm pretty sure no one survived the fight."

"How can you be so calm about this?"

His face was tight and his eyes seemed overly bright as he looked at her. "Emm, I had to knock out my own brother in order to get him back here without him hurting himself or me. I'm not calm—I want to go kill something, but I know, logically, that won't make the hurt go away. I just need to be strong, for everyone."

Emmeline leaned forward, setting her tea down as she did so, and gripped him in a tight hug. She kept her own tears restrained, knowing that they wouldn't help him, wouldn't help anyone except maybe herself. It wasn't a time to be selfish, and she pulled his head down to her chest, kissing the crown of his scalp and trying to be as comforting as she could be.

A few days later, the first of two funerals was held. Emmeline was among a mass of black as she stepped forward, trying to keep her eyes off of three small coffins. She stepped forward, holding a white lily that had been streaked in orange and red, laying it on the largest of the five coffins. "Blackbird, singing the blues all day, right outside of my door. Blackbird, why do you sit and say there's no sunshine in store."

She looked up as she continued singing, swallowing hard against any tears. Edgar deserved this. She'd sung it for her parents and he'd been just as worthy, protecting his family to the last. It was the least she could do. "Pack up all my care and woe, here I go, singing low, bye bye blackbird. Where somebody waits for me, sugar's sweet, so is she, bye bye blackbird…" Edgar's brother got the honor of breaking the wands and placing them into the caskets, and the snaps punctuated Emmeline's song.

"Bluebird, bluebird, calling me far away. I've been longing for you," Emmeline drew a deep breath. "I'm like a flower that's fading here, with every hour is one long tear..." Edgar's brother went back to his place among the watchers after lowering the coffins into the ground, pressing his face to his tiny daughter. Young Susan Bones had been named after Edgar's wife, and the year-old girl looked around with wide eyes. It broke Emmeline's heart. "Make my bed and light the light, I'll arrive late tonight... Blackbird, bye bye." The last notes of the song drifted on the air as tombstones were raised, and Emmeline faded back into the crowd.

She offered her condolences to the remnants of the family before heading home, sitting in the quiet Tower. She didn't bother lighting any lamps, instead staring out the window into an unusual July storm. It was appropriate, but the rain that lashed at her windows all night ended up echoing her mood too closely for comfort. Ordere members filtered in and out of her house as they reported for duty, returned and left again on patrols, and manned the Floo, but she was running on automatic. Fabian didn't show up all day and the next, and Emmeline figured he was probably trying to keep Gideon from doing something he would regret later. She hoped he succeeded, because they had another funeral to attend in two days. At least there wouldn't be any children to bury at this one, only more friends, and Emmeline didn't know how she felt about thinking that.

Emmeline went over to Fabian's apartment the day or Marlene's funeral. "Hi," she greeted softly. Fabian was watching Gideon with a wary eye, clearly braced to intercept him if he made any sudden moves.

"Hey Emm."

"How is he?" She asked quietly.

"He can hear you," Gideon snarled. Emmeline almost flinched—she had never heard a tone like that out of either Prewett twin.

"Sorry," Fabian apologized.

"It's fine. I'll see you later." She kissed him gently on the cheek and then left again, not wanting to think about the implications of Gideon angry. She had to trust that Fabian could control him, but as she stepped forward to sing "Bye Bye Blackbird" for the second time in three days, she more hoped than trusted.

_Hope's a foolish thing to have, especially when it's blind hope_, she thought when she took her place among the crowd again. She didn't realized she'd said it aloud until Hestia commented lowly, "But it's hope that's gotten us this far. All we need is enough to last the war."

"And when will it be over?" Emmeline tried to keep the despair out of her voice.

Hestia turned a tiny, sad smile on her. "Soon. It has to be. When you've hit rock bottom, there's no place to go but up, right?"

"Or you can just skim along the bottom or awhile."

"That's not a cheerful thought."

"We're at a funeral, Hes. For a witch who should have lived for another hundred years, and you expect me to have cheerful thoughts?"

"You Gryffindors," Hestia sighed. "You're too passionate about everything. Hufflepuffs know that... look, you can't take everything personally. There was nothing you could have done, not really."

"Hestia, I'm not the one who needs to hear that," Emmeline said with a slight nod over at the Prewett twins. Gideon was staring at the place Marlene's coffin had been lowered into the ground, a completely unreadable and frightening expression on his face.

"You're right. I'll go over there later and give him a Hufflepuff hug."

"What?"

Another tiny smile crossed Hestia's face. "It's something we used to joke about. All the other Houses got so... so wrapped up in things. Gryffindors are brave to the end, and passionate, and fierce," she gestured at Marlene's gravestone. "Ravenclaws are intelligent and distant for the most part, coolly intellectual. Slytherins are ambitious and devious, cunning and sharp. And all of you, when you crash and burn, you do it hard. If a Gryffindor is beaten or one of their friends it, they'll not stop for hell and high water until they get their revenge. If a Ravenclaw is outsmarted, they'll not sleep until they've read everything about whatever they failed and know it back to front, and maybe even sideways. And Slytherins, if they're tricked out of what they see as rightfully theirs, they'll rain down all the fury they can muster before the end.

"But Hufflepuffs," Hestia offered a shrug. "We know we can't change the world. I guess our fault would be that we know it and we ignore that fact more often than not, but we know we can't do it alone. So when we crash and burn, we have a support system. We have people there to let us know that it wasn't our fault, or that we couldn't change anything, or that or that we don't need to blame ourselves. The other Houses never seem to understand that when you fall, you need people to catch you and help set you back on your feet again. When you can't run anymore you crawl, and when you can't crawl, that's when you find someone to carry you. Hufflepuffs always seem to be the best at it, and we refer to it as the Hufflepuff hug because, well... that's what it usually starts as."

Emmeline listened to the explanation silently, then looked down a few inches at her friend. "I never thought I'd be jealous of Hufflepuff."

"There's nothing to be jealous of. We just have things figured out better than you do." Hestia patted her on the arm and then wandered off in the direction of Gideon. Emmeline turned around to find Benjy in front of her. He looked exhausted and she immediately wrapped her arms around him, thinking about what Hestia had said. He returned the embrace tightly.

"Benjy," Emmeline muttered into his robes. "I didn't think you'd be back for a while."

"I'm staying at home now. It's too dangerous to venture out any more, and... well, we've lost too many people. The Order's not big, Emmie." She felt more than heard his breath catch in his throat. "She was an amazing witch, and her family..."

"I know, Benjy. I know."

A few weeks later, Caradoc left on a mission. Because Benjy had said that there would be no more covert operations like the sort he had been doing, Emmeline was curious. Prying got her nowhere though, and she watched him leave the Tower late at night with her heart in her throat. Placing her hands on Auggy and Ziggy's shoulders, she gently steered the twins up to their rooms.

"Emm?" Augusta said as she went to shut the door. Emmeline turned around and looked at the girl, her hand on the knob. "Emm, I'm scared."

"Auggy, your brother will come back."

"Not him. I mean, I am scared for him but... I don't want to go back to Hogwarts," the girl said in a rush, then looked away, ashamed.

Emmeline felt her mouth open slightly, then swallowed. She took a seat by Auggy's bed, pulling over one of the chairs in the girl's room. "Why?"

"I'm just scared. I feel like everyone's in danger everywhere—I mean, the Longbottoms and the Potters are hiding, people keep dying, we hear awful reports even though Zig and I know you try and keep those from us. Things are just getting worse and worse, and I feel safest when I'm here, even though I know I'm not."

"Hey," Emmeline said, resting a hand on Auggy's bedspread. "Someone a lot smarter than me told me not too long ago that when things keep getting worse and worse, once you hit bottom, all you can do is go up."

"But if this isn't bottom, I don't want to know what is."

They were both silent for a while, and then Emmeline heaved a deep sigh. "I wish you didn't have to grow up like this. I lost my parents young too, but you're growing up in a war."

"But wishing any different won't help. I just want to feel safe."

Emmeline blinked at her. "I keep forgetting that the war has made you old fast. But listen, Auggy... you have to go back to Hogwarts."

"But I don't feel safe. I'm terrified. All last year, people got owls letting them know that their friends and family had been wounded, or killed. Fear is everywhere in the castle, and the Slytherins... they make life miserable for everyone. Just because their parents are Death Eaters, and... I'm so scared. I don't want to go back. I've learned more useful spells watching everyone around here anyway."

"You still have to go back. At any time, this place could be attacked. It's protected by as many spells as it can be, but Hogwarts has more. Anyway, it's where you need to be. I hate that you're scared of it, and I hate that I can't do anything about that. But you have to go back because it's the place you have to be. You need to learn everything you can so that you can take care of yourself, and protect those around you."

"So I can join the fight?"

"It has to be over soon."

Auggy sighed. "You didn't answer my question."

"That's because I don't want to say my answer." Emmeline stood up and kissed Auggy's forehead. "Get some sleep."

Caradoc didn't return when he was supposed to. Days passed, which turned into a few weeks, and an even more subdued atmosphere settled over the Tower. Emmeline, Benjy, Fabian and Hestia (who was dragging Gideon along with her) accompanied the Dearborn twins to Diagon Alley for their school supplies in mid-August, and the young twins grew increasingly more withdrawn. One night, as Emmeline stayed up on duty, Auggy and Ziggy came down the stairs.

"Emm?" Ziggy asked.

"Zig. You two should be asleep."

"He's not coming back, is he?" Auggy suddenly shot at her.

Emmeline fell silent for a few moments, then shook her head slowly. "I don't think so." She knew she ought to be reassuring the young girl, but she also knew that the Dearborn twins weren't stupid, and they would not like getting reassurances that they could see right through. She felt immediately guilty as Auggy crumpled to the floor, her head in her hands as she dissolved into sobs. Emmeline hurried around to them, grabbing both of them into a hug.

Ziggy was clearly trying to hold onto his tears for his sister's sake as he spoke. "He's been gone too long."

"Yes.

"When were you going to tell us?"

"I didn't want to think about it. I'm so, so sorry." She buried her face in Augusta's hair, closing her eyes tightly. She could not cry, not when they needed someone to be there for them. They were the same age as she had been when her parents had died, and Benjy had gotten her through it. She needed to be strong for them. She could not cry.

"It's never going to be over, is it?" Auggy asked, voice choked.

"It will be, I promise. It will be. It has to be." She held them both as Auggy fell asleep. She realized belatedly that Ziggy had had a growth spurt when he stepped back slightly, supporting his sister. Emmeline picked her up gently, grateful the girl was small for her age, and deposited her on the couch. Ziggy curled up onto an armchair, watching her like a cat.

Auggy stirred slightly. "Emm?"

"Shh." Emmeline began to sing quietly, an old song her mother had taught her from the muggle war days. "There'll be bluebirds over, the white cliffs of Dover, tomorrow, just you wait and see. There'll be love and laughter, and peace everafter, tomorrow, when the world is free." She hummed the parts she'd forgotten as the twins fell asleep before letting her own grief show. She hadn't wanted to admit that Caradoc wasn't coming back. She didn't want to deal with another funeral, or a memorial, or anything else. But she had to, because she knew that his will had dictated her the guardian of his siblings. And she had to to honor his memory.

Emmeline sang at Caradoc's memorial. It was different than the funerals but almost sadder, because without a body there was no closure. For years afterward, she would think of him and wonder if he was out there somewhere, if they had only held out faith, maybe he would have come home. But she knew that it was all just wishful dreaming, and she saw the twins off to Hogwarts with a heavy heart.

"I can't die, Benjy," she told him as she watched the train leave.

"I'm not going to let you die," he responded, so final on the subject that she almost believed it. That was what she needed to be for the twins. She needed to be a rock for them to hold on to in the storm, something that wouldn't break. It was her first experience of being an older sibling and she didn't know if she liked it. But like it or not, it was what had to be done.

"I need to be there for them. They've lost everyone, and I can't let them down."

"You won't."


	10. A Tiger and an Broken Goodbye

An update? That's crazy talk. But no... I really tried to have this one up by the New Year. Sadly, 'twas not to be so. But here is the latest installment in the thing no one seems to have anything to say about... Please leave a review. I didn't get any for the last three chapters, and that just makes me sad. Now, I know this isn't about everyone's favorite character, but I like to think that I do a reasonable just writing this stuff and a decent review, even just one or two, would make me so very happy. It always irritates me when authors beg for reviews of their stories when they have like fifty or sixty or over a hundred, but I don't think I'm being way out of line here. I've got ten reviews for this story, guys. This is the tenth chapter. Please don't make this story have more chapters than reviews, because that'd be sad enough that I'd really like not to think about it.

That being said, I'll stop being irritating and tell you instead to enjoy! It's not a light chapter, certainly (I think it's the saddest I've written), and I've got one more dark one planned before things start looking up slightly. I'd apologize for the lack of lightness, but hey... it's life in wartime. Hope you like it.

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Fear hung over the whole country. Emmeline found herself flinching at the mere flash of a black cloak, and that feeling was contagious. Everyone was on edge, drawing wands on each other at the slightest inconsistency, and they ran the door checks like inquisitions. She found herself learning more about her friends and the rest of the Order than she'd ever known before, including quizzing each other on what underwear they were wearing.

"Look, Fabian, you know what bra I've got on, let me in," Emmeline demanded through his closed door.

"Describe it for me." She could hear the laughter in his voice and scowled.

"You're doing this on purpose. And that's not even one of the questions, and you have no way of knowing which one I put on this morning anyway." Sighing, she rolled her eyes and darted a wary look around. Downtown London was a place many young witches and wizards lived, but Emmeline preferred the solitude of the Sea Tower during wartime. "It's cream and black, all right? Mostly cream fabric, covered in black lace that is patterned after roses. Happy?"

"Very." He opened the door and she hurried inside. "Can I see it? Just to know you were telling the truth?"

"Stuff it." she shrugged out of her jacket and tossed it on a chair.

"You certainly don't."

"Fabian!"

"Well, you don't. What's going on?"

"Nothing. Dumbledore's commandeered my house and is holding a secret meeting for the older members in the kitchen. He requested very politely that I go away." Emmeline flopped down in one of the chairs, looking up at Fabian. "So I'm here for entertainment."

"And Ben's not here, so I have plenty of ideas..." Fabian shot her a wicked smile which she returned. He was leaning down to kiss her when the door slammed open and shut. Fabian closed his eyes. "Damn."

"How's Gideon been?" Emmeline asked softly, eyeing the door with apprehension.

"Not good. Marlene's death completely tore him apart. I mean, I knew they were seeing each other, but I didn't know it was serious. He's distant, and angry, and I can't do anything to help." Fabian stopped and ran a hand through his hair. "It's tearing me apart, to see him like this. He's been taken off patrol duty."

Emmeline nodded. Nothing was really out of the ordinary with that, because whenever someone was directly affected by a death or disappearance, they were taken off the roster for guarding. She understood why—people were distracted or introverted, and that translated into a hazard for their partner. But Fabian seemed to think it was odd, so she asked him why.

"This is Gideon. He's not fazed by anything. But he was—he is—a mess. I've never seen him like this. I didn't think he could be like this. He's always been able to weather everything that was thrown at him, hexes, curses, punches, anything. Other people dying didn't affect him like this, even when Dad died. I mean, he was sad, everyone was, but not violent."

They were both silent for a while, Emmeline shifting around to lean back against her boyfriend. "It is going to be over, isn't it?" She asked eventually.

"Gid will be back to normal soon."

"That's not what I mean."

"I know."

"So you don't want to tell me what you think?"

"Living in ignorance is bliss, I've heard."

Sighing, Emmeline let herself relax for another few minutes before standing slowly. "I should get back. Dumbledore said it wouldn't be a long meeting, and I need to see what Benjy will tell me about it."

"You know, Emm, the point of a secret meeting is to keep secrets."

"Yes, but they're no fun. I'll see you later, Fabe." She waved to him as she left, Disapparating on his doorstep. She thought she saw another flash of red Prewett hair down the block as she turned and hoped that it was Gideon coming back, although she didn't stay and wait.

No one really knew what Marlene and Gideon's relationship was. They'd been friends since Hogwarts, though they had reconnected in an Order meeting the past year. Emmeline remembered swimming trips and watching them flirt nearly incessantly. The beautiful Marlene and charming Gideon clearly had something going on, but Emmeline had never really pressed them for details, not least because while she was with Fabian, she didn't know his brother on a personal level. And Marlene was Alice's older sister, but Emmeline hadn't really known her either.

She let herself into the Sea Tower quietly. The meeting had clearly broken up—Benjy was laying over the armrests of one of the chairs, a newspaper covering his face. She sat in another chair and nudged him with her foot. "Wake up, sleepy."

"Huh? Oh, sorry Emmie." He shoved the newspaper onto the floor and Emmeline tried not to look at the headlines—another group of Muggles had been killed, and a half-blood wizard attacked. Benjy glared down at the paper when he saw her eyes flick at it. "Bloody rag. How are you?"

"As well as I can be. Why are you asking? You saw me this morning."

"How's Gideon?"

Emmeline shrugged, a helpless expression crossing her face. "Fabian says he's still violent. I didn't ask him what that meant. I don't think I want to know."

"It's difficult to imagine Gideon Prewett as violent. What were you planning on doing for today?"

"I was going to write the Dearborn twins, why?"

"Well, we're both off-duty," he nodded at Alastor Moody, who was sitting at the kitchen counter polishing his wand. "I wondered if you would like to go get lunch or something. We haven't hung out in a really long time. I miss you, little sister."

"That's because you've been gone on missions for the past few... years." Emmeline let out a little laugh that was completely devoid of humor. "Let me just grab my cloak." She got her purse as well, even though she knew Benjy would likely not let her pay for anything. Maybe she would find the Dearborn twins a present. It wouldn't help with the grief... but it was worth a shot.

They ended up in Muggle London. Benjy had shrugged when she commented, and had said that he didn't like dealing with all the fear in the Wizarding communities when he was just trying to have a drink with his little sister. They ordered lunch and sat in a small cafe chatting about light things, although even though they both tried to keep away from the war it kept coming up.

Emmeline let her worries about the Dearborn twins out to Benjy as well. "I'm not good at being the older sibling, Benjy. You've always taken care of me, even before my parents died. Whenever they weren't there to protect me or make me feel better, you were. I'm not used to being the one who's relied on, and I'm rubbish at it."

"Emmie, it's not something I can tell you how to do. But those kids trust you and they love you. You'll figure it out." His smile was as comforting as ever.

"After my parents died, you made me feel like even though my world had collapsed, it was still going to be alright. How can I do that for these kids? I feel like I'm just floundering in a big ocean, and I have no idea what to do." Only around Benjy could she be so unsure, and it was a relief.

"Did I really make you feel like it was going to be alright?" He questioned.

"Well... mostly. You made me feel less guilty for being a survivor."

"Being able to survive doesn't ever mean that it's okay, or that it's going to be alright. I'm grateful for whatever I did that helped you feel like that, helped you pick yourself back up, but... I was just trying to be strong for you because that was what you needed. You know what these kids need. You might not feel like you know exactly, but you'll figure it out."

"Help me," she said lowly. "I have no idea."

Benjy was silent for a few moments, taking bites of his sandwich. Eventually he said, "What are you scared of?"

Emmeline wondered how that was going to help, how on earth that mattered, but answered anyway. "Being alone. Being vulnerable."

"And how do you deal with that?"

"Being around people who I care about and who care about me. I hate it when the Sea Tower's empty, you know that."

"When your parents died, I thought about what made me most scared. I had already lost the people who had been better parents to me than my own ever were, and all I had left of them was you. One your first day of school, your father pulled me aside while you said goodbye to your mum and told me to protect you. I told him that while I was around, no one would dare to hurt you. But then I realized at their funeral that I couldn't protect you from the emotional hurt. I'm sorry for that, so I just do my best to be what you need. I can't stop people dying and I can't change the world, but I can comfort you when you're sad and I can dry your tears when you cry. I can teach you spells to defend yourself and I can take out as many Death Eaters as I can, because each one that I get rid of means there's one less to hurt you. I can't be everything that you need, but I can try my best."

Emmeline swallowed. "But I don't know what they need. I'm more like an aunt than a big sister. I can't do it."

"Then be an aunt for them. They don't have one of those either. But Caradoc trusted you with them, and you need to be there. Do whatever you think is right."

"Auggy didn't want to go back to Hogwarts. She says she's too scared to. But I made her, because she's safer there than she can possibly be here."

"That's what Caradoc would have done, and it's the right thing. You're not rubbish at it."

Not really believing him, and not reassured at all by his last statement, Emmeline turned the conversation to other things before they had to leave. She went back on duty at her house watching the Floo and he went out on patrol with Fabian.

Five minutes after they left, Gideon stormed into the Tower, a dark look on his face. "Did they already leave?" he growled, not sounding at all like the Prewett twin she knew.

"Yes."

"Dammit!" He shouted, gripping his wand tightly. He glared at the fireplace and then slumped slightly. "I hate it when he tries to protect me. I'm fine to go on patrol."

"I know what you mean," Emmeline commented quietly, setting the kettle on to boil. The sky had darkened outside and night was creeping over the clifftops on the edge of her property, making her shiver slightly. The night was so much more ominous when the world was in danger and two of the most important people to her were out in it. "I've never been on a patrol because of Benjy and your brother."

He seemed surprised that she was speaking to him normally instead of shooting 'is he alright?' glances his way. "It's nothing special. And they're dangerous. I understand why they don't want you going."

"So do I, but I wish they would let me decide that for myself." She was silent for a moment, and then offered him tea. He accepted and she set to fixing two cups. "Gideon, can I ask you something?"

"Sure. I can't guarantee an answer."

"That's okay, I just... What are you scared of?"

"Being helpless," he answered promptly. "Whenever I have to sit by and just watch, I hate that feeling. I'm worried that the day is coming when I won't be able to do anything when something terrible happens." He looked at her sidelong, more weary and without that spark of life in his eyes that had made him Gideon. "Why?"

"I don't know what to do about the Dearborn twins," she confessed. "I don't know how to help, and I don't know what they need me to do, or be... and I'm scared of that. Caradoc trusted me with their care, and I can't do it because I don't know what to do, and I'm terrified of messing up I can't mess this up. I _can't._"

"It doesn't matter if you can or can't do it. You have to. You don't have a choice." Gideon said roughly.

Emmeline looked at him. Somehow that helped more than Benjy's explanations and reassurances. She swallowed and nodded.

"Okay."

"That's all you needed?" He asked dubiously.

"No. I need a lot more. But you're right, and I don't have a choice."

They sat in silence watching the fire. Gideon knew enough to not go hunting for his brother, because patrols could go anywhere from the starting point, and walking around alone after dark was practically begging to be attacked.

The flames suddenly roared green. Emmeline leapt to her feet and drew her wand, then gasped as Fabian fell through the fireplace with a loud yell. His face was bloody and he was bleeding heavily from the leg onto the plush carpet in front of the fire. Despite the obvious pain, he whipped his head around and shouted into the fire. "Ben! Dammit, BEN!"

"Fabian!" Emmeline dropped to her knees beside him. "Merlin, you're bleeding... Gideon, find a Healer! Now!" Surprisingly enough, the other Prewett nodded and strode out the door swiftly as Emmeline pressed her hands against the flow of blood from Fabian's leg. "What happened?" She asked through her panic. "Where's Benjy?"

Fabian stopped yelling and looked at her, fear in his eyes. "We were fighting, some Death Eaters found us... agh, that hurts." Wincing sharply as she tore off the hem of her skirt and used the fabric as a pad to help stop the bleeding, he continued as he tried to regain his breath. "We backed into a house. I don't know where the family was, but they were obviously Wizarding. There were a lot of Death Eaters... I don't remember exactly how, but we were cornered. Ben ducked behind me for a second and lit a fire."

He hissed in pain as Emmeline touched his head harder than she had intended because her hands were shaking. "Sorry," she said, voice quavering. "Please... what happened then? Is Benjy alright?"

"I don't know. He lit a fire, threw in Floo powder – it must have been in his pocket or something. He ran past me and shoved me into the fireplace before I could do anything about it."

"But this fireplace is protected by the wards around the Tower," Emmeline said, staring desperately into it, willing her best friend to come through it.

"He must have spelled the powder. He should be back."

When Gideon reentered the Sea Tower with Hestia in tow he seemed to sense the atmosphere. Hestia quickly moved to take over mopping up Fabian's leg and head from Emmeline, and Gideon pulled Emmeline into a chair. "He has to be back soon," she whispered to herself.

They waited for what seemed like hours. Once Fabian was stable, Hestia sat back and got the story out of him while Gideon alerted the Order. Members trickled into the house and a search party was dispatched, which Emmeline was forbidden from going on, despite her pleas. Alastor Moody headed it up, and he took Gideon, Remus Lupin, Hestia in case a Healer was needed, and Elphius Doge.

When they returned, even Moody's normally tough, take-no-shit face was pale and he looked shaken. Remus seemed like he was about to be sick, and Hestia collapsed into a chair. "Benjy?" Emmeline breathed, fingers digging into the armrest of her own chair. Gideon wouldn't even enter the house, instead standing outside the door taking deep breaths of the night air. From their faces she knew, but she didn't want to accept it.

"He's..." Hestia drew a deep breath. "He's gone, Emm. I'm so sorry."

"Where did he go?"

"He's dead," Gideon said. His voice was a murmur, but they all heard it anyway.

She had known from the moment the search group had returned, but hearing it was something entirely different. A sob broke out of her throat and she gasped for air. "B..." she started, but she couldn't even complete his name before it dissolved into a loud wail. It was more like the keening scream of a wounded animal than any human noise, and she buried her face in her hands.

Emmeline would remember dim things about that night later. She could recall the feeling of hands guiding her up the stairs to her room, someone helping to change her daywear to a set of pajamas and tucking her into her bed. She was in a daze, and she couldn't stop crying. Someone held her hand as she fell into an exhausted doze, and was there with her when she woke up screaming in the middle of the night.

The next few days were unending. On the day of the funeral, she pulled herself together enough to get out of bed, Alice watching her with both pity and wariness in her eyes. Emmeline walked over to her closet and pulled out a long black dress that was simply cut and put it on. She braided her hair into a tight plait, then clipped on a black pearl necklace. She fetched her boots from her closet as well and then walked down the stairs, Alice trailing her uncertainly.

"Emm?" Alice questioned softly. "I can Apparate us to the cemetery, if you like."

"I want to walk. I'll be fine on my own."

Alice made a noise of skepticism and Emmeline turned to her, eyes emotionless. "Go, Alice. I'll meet you there." She could tell that her friend thought that Emmeline being on her own was a very bad idea, but she went anyway, letting herself out the door and vanishing outside the gates with a crack.

Emmeline walked into her kitchen and retrieved a bottle of amber-colored firewhiskey from a cupboard, knowing that while she couldn't take it to the ceremony without hating herself, it would help. She took a few deep sips of it, then recapped the bottle and put it back. She went over to the cloak rack and fastened a cloak around her neck and walked out of her house, the burning a comforting feeling in her throat..

The walk to the cemetery where her parents were buried was a short one. It took her about fifteen minutes to reach it, the late September wind tugging at her cloak. The sky was overcast and it looked like it might rain. Emmeline couldn't bring herself to care. When she walked up she heard Alice let out a relieved sigh but she couldn't find it within her to care about worrying her friend either. She took her place in the front row and kept her eyes away from the coffin that held her best friend.

A tap on her shoulder caused her to turn around. Alastor Moody was looking at her, normally fierce eyes as soft as she had ever seen them. He seemed like he was choosing his words carefully, another oddity, but then said gruffly, "Here. I'll be speaking some, but you get to break his wand." Emmeline nodded in thanks, wrapping her fingers around the slim bit of wood and setting it in her lap.

She tried not to sense it, but the wand _felt_ of Benjy as well. When she touched it, it seemed to be the feeling of his laugh and warmth when he hugged her, and the flash of his green eyes. She covered it with a bit of her cloak and closed her eyes to keep from crying again.

Moody took to his feet when the rustling of the crowd getting settled stopped. "Afternoon, everyone. We're here to remember the life of a person that was cut short too soon..." Emmeline didn't listen to his words. Moody had been Benjy's mentor in the Aurors, and she knew he spoke from the heart, but she still couldn't concentrate. She hadn't prepared a speech of her own because she knew that she would never be able to remember it.

Eventually Moody stopped speaking and Emmeline stood, Benjy's wand gripped loosely in her hand. She walked up to the front of the crowd and turned around, not letting her eyes fix on anyone. She opened her mouth to speak in the silence, wondering what she could possibly say that would be even semi-adequate. "I don't know what to say," she eventually said quietly. Her voice cracked from lack of use, or maybe it was from the emotion. "How can I say goodbye to someone who's always been there for me? How can I say goodbye to my brother?" She stopped and looked down at the wand in her hand, still refusing to even glance at the coffin.

She could see the Dearborn twins halfway back in the gathered crowd. They looked intensely somber and Emmeline swallowed hard. Children shouldn't have to attend funerals of anyone younger than their grandparents. She thought of all the things she could say, things that she should be saying, but she couldn't actually say anything. Instead, she started singing as she walked over to his coffin. Her gaze seemed to slid off of it like oil mixing with water, but she laid a hand on the cool wood and held his wand with her other hand. "Blackbird, blackbird, singing the blues all day, right outside of my door. Blackbird, blackbird, why do you sit and say, there's no sunshine in store."

She felt her breath catch in her throat as she launched into the chorus, and willed herself to hold on. "Pack up all my c-care and woe, here I go, singing low, bye bye blackbird. Where somebody waits for me, sugar's sweet, so is she, b-bye bye blackbird." She gulped, fixing her vision on a point on the horizon. "No one here can love and understand me, oh what hard luck stories they all hand me... make my bed and light the light, I'll arrive late tonight... Blackbird, bye bye."

A sob escaped her as she started the second verse. Emmeline bit her lip hard enough to hurt and got through it, ending the verse with, "I'm like a flower that's fading here, with every hour is one long tear. Bluebird, bluebird, this is my lucky day, now all my dreams will come true." Tears started pouring down her face and she tried to breathe deeply for air for the last chorus.

She couldn't do it. Falling apart at the second-to-last line, the final 'blackbird, bye bye' was completely lost to tears. Despite her gasps for air, she raised the wand above her head and broke it with a loud crack that echoed in the near-silence of the gathering. She placed the wand halves into the niche in the coffin that had been carved for them and watched as it sealed itself over with a crystal-clear sheet of glass. The coffin raised up and floated into the grave next to it, and the mound of dirt shifted to fill in the hole.

A grave marker raised itself up. Dimly, Emmeline knew that someone in the audience was making it happen, but she could only watch as the inscription carved itself onto a stone while a tiger formed with its paws on the stone.

Here lies Benjamin Fenwick

January 25, 1955-September 18, 1981

Courage is not the absence of fear,

but rather the judgment that

something else is more important than fear.

Emmeline didn't recognize the quote, and she didn't know who had chosen it. Probably Moody. Her gaze drifted instead to the tiger made of stone. It was almost an exact likeness of Benjy's Patronus, which she'd only seen a few times. It was surveying the assembled audience with a benevolent look, but it also seemed poised to spring into battle at a moment's notice. In short, it was Benjy.

When Emmeline returned to her home she fell into bed again, grabbing the bottle of firewhiskey from her kitchen before she walked up the stairs. Order members claimed the downstairs and she fell asleep after finishing half the bottle.

Emmeline woke with the bottle cradled in the crook of her arm. Closing her eyes against the light of day, she was mildly startled by a knock at her door. She dragged herself out of bed and slipped on a robe – she hadn't worn anything by yesterday's bra and panties to bed. Opening her door, she was surprised to see Auggy and Ziggy. Swallowing and hoping that she'd hidden the bottle well, she let them in.

The trio was silent for a while, then Auggy eventually spoke softly. "Emm, why do good people have to die?"

Emmeline didn't know what to answer, but she scrabbled for something anyway. "Because if you want a change in the world, you need to be prepared for some... sacrifices." She drew a shaky breath. "How is school going?"

She knew that was not what the twins were there to talk about, knew that they didn't want to talk about things like school, but she just couldn't deal with thoughts of him. They gave her identical looks of disappointment and left. Emmeline scowled, though the anger wasn't directed at them. She finished off her bottle to deal with it.

The twins went back to school the next day, and they left without saying goodbye. Emmeline told a bottle of firewhiskey that she didn't care, because they knew what was right better than she did. Order members came and left for patrol, but she watched them from her window when she cared to, which wasn't often. A few of her friends visited her, but for the most part she was left alone. She slipped downstairs and out the door in the quiet of night when whoever was on duty was dosing by the fire to buy herself more alcohol from the local pub, not caring that she went alone, not caring what might happen if she were attacked.

"Emm," a quiet voice stopped her sneak for the door on an early October night. "Where are you going?" She didn't say anything, and Fabian sighed. She heard the noise even though it was as soft as a whisper. "You can't go out alone."

"Watch me."

"Please. Let me get someone to take my watch and I'll come with you. Me and Gid." Emmeline hadn't even noticed Gideon sitting in one of the armchairs by the fire, watching her with hooded eyes.

"No." Emmeline turned and walked out the door, shutting it and cutting off Fabian's curse. She strode briskly down the path and unlatched the gate as light spilled from the doorway onto the windswept ground. The sound of running feet was louder than the click of Emmeline closing the gate, but it couldn't drown out the crack of her Apparation.

She reappeared in Muggle London. Rewrapping her cloak, she turned her head down and made her way to a small pub. It was mostly empty, which she supposed was normal for the middle of the work week. She sat down at a tiny table and ordered a drink from the menu. She didn't know what it was, but it was passable and it gave her the comfort that she had found in alcohol.

Emmeline remained in the pub until closing time. When the man sweeping the floor gave her a meaningful look, she rose gracefully and exited the place, back out on the dark streets of London. It had gotten colder and a light rain was falling. Tucking her chin down into her cloak, she walked. The dark-haired witch didn't know where she was going – then again, it didn't matter. She didn't want to be shouted at when she returned home, so she would simply wait for the shift change that came with dawn.

She didn't realize the creeping of the unnatural cold permeating the air until her breath fogged in front of her. Stopping, she reached a hand into her pocket for her wand, gripping it tightly in her fingers. She turned and walked down a side street quickly, hoping to get to a place where she could Apparate away from the sight of wayward Muggles.

Emmeline never got the chance. A little less than halfway down the street, the cold became overwhelming and she looked around, unable to stifle a gasp as she saw two cloaked figures swooping towards her. Drawing her wand, she placed her back to the wall and threw a silent Blasting Hex at them.

It passed through the cloaks, and Emmeline smothered a whimper before it could escape her throat. Dementors. Logically, they shouldn't be out without wizard guidance, unless they were chasing an escaped prisoner. Those were the rules she had been taught. But that was in a logical time, when things didn't get darker and darker with each passing day, and now was not that time. She swallowed hard, the dementors having the same sobering effect on her that three days of cold turkey and living on tea and toast does.

As they got closer, Emmeline remembered keenly the feeling of being told that her parents were dead, that Benjy was dead. And when she reflected on the day later, she thought that that should have sent her back into a sobbing heap on the drenched pavement, but the pain was so acute and new that even the amplifying effect of the dementors didn't make it unbearably worse. Because honestly, it was already unbearable.

Summoning memories of being hugged by Benjy, his carefree smile and don't-mess-with-my-Emmie attitude, she whipped her wand at the dementors and screamed "_Expecto Patronum_!"

A huge shape tore from her wand, made of mist and silver. It was flickering but it got more solid as she strengthened her resolve, and she squinted to make out the form as it let out an inaudible roar and leapt forward to pounce on one, swiping at the other with a massive paw. Emmeline choked on her own breath and felt sobs rise up but kept her wand steady, fueling the tiger with more memories of Benjy. It was his patronus guarding her, and she remembered what he'd said about the forms changing shape after massive upheaval and emotional trauma.

The tiger chased them down the road and out of sight, and Emmeline let the magic fade slowly. She didn't know when she'd sunk down to sit on the wet street, but her shoulder was leaning heavily against the wall next to her. Slowly, she picked her thoughts up and regained some control over herself, drawing several shaky breaths before she felt like she could stand without adverse effects. She refastened her cloak more securely around her neck and kept her wand out before turning on the spot and Disapparating back to the Sea Tower.

When she escaped the crushing and squeezing of Apparation, she discovered her home was flooded with light. She hadn't expected that, it being around four in the morning, but belatedly she remembered that she had just walked out on Fabian and Gideon, and even though Fabian was the one who was her boyfriend, neither one of them would have taken that well. People didn't like other people just vanishing, especially at night.

Emmeline understood. She didn't but she just didn't want to deal with the shouting and admonition that was sure to come. Sighing, she opened the gate and clicked it shut softly behind her after she stepped through it anyway. She hadn't even gotten herself any alcohol in bottles to comfort her in her room, which had been the whole point of her outing. Unclasping her cloak (it wasn't raining back home, although she was soaked through from London) she walked up the path to her house, opening the red door gently.

Half a dozen faces swiveled around to look at her. "Emm," Fabian was the first to react, standing up and hurrying over to her. He wrapped her in his arms. "You can't... don't do that to me, Emm. Please."

"Why is everyone here?" She asked him. She didn't hug him back, but it felt nice to be held. Not as good as _he_ could have done, but... acceptable.

"Everyone else is out looking for you. You just vanished."

"Call them back. And tell everyone that there are dementors in London. I had to fight off two of them."

Hestia hurried over and placed a hand on Emmeline's forehead. "Are you alright?"

Emmeline brushed her off gently. "I'm fine. I just need some sleep. I'll see you all later." She was cold and removed, but that was how it had to be. If she had something to drink it would have been better.

A few days passed. Emmeline insisted on being let out for a patrol, and managed to pick up some new bottles each time she went on one, which was the only real reason she was so demanding about going. If it had been earlier, before the loss of the McKinnons and so many others, she knew that in her emotionally compromised state she would never been allowed. But desperation and lack of Order members left fueled necessity, and although she was only allowed out in a group of three, she knew that it was what needed to happen.

She was out on patrol with Fabian and Gideon when the night burst into shouts and curses. She threw herself behind a dumpster and looked out, bleeding from her left arm. She looked out, seeing Gideon flinging hexes at the dark figures and Fabian fueling shields around them both. Biting her lip, she launched herself into the fray, picking one shadow to focus on.

Gideon took over from casting his hexes to shielding, and Fabian wrapped an arm around Emmeline. "Wha-" she started to say before he Apparated them both to the main street in Tinworth. Letting her go, he vanished with another crack into the night. "FABIAN!" She shrieked after him, breaking the silence of sleeping Tinworth. "FABIAN, DAMMIT!" Hurling herself back into the oblivion of Apparation, she reappeared where they had started patrol.

Swearing at herself for not summoning a broom from her home, she ran down the street as fast as she could, retracing their patrol route. Emmeline shucked off her robe and sweater mid-stride, gasping for air as she neared the shouts and blasts. The dark street wherever they were (she hadn't bothered to pay attention to where she was being deployed that night, because she already had enough alcohol to last her until her next patrol) branched off into an alley and she bolted down it, jumping back into the fight with a stunning spell aimed point-blank at a Death Eater.

He went down without a sound and Fabian looked around, blood streaked across his face. She saw his mouth form her name and the fear in his eyes, but she turned away from it and back to the fight.

She didn't know how long they fought. It seemed like hours, but she knew it couldn't have been that long. More and more Death Eaters kept coming, and Emmeline drew the conclusion that they must have known the patrol would be there. It was the logical, cool, calculating part of her mind that decided that, and it didn't really matter in the thick of the fight.

There was a slowness to the Prewett twin's arms that they seemed determined to overcome. Emmeline felt it too, and though she tried to ignore it, her reaction time was slower, and she gained more and more wounds. A falling brick from a building that had taken an errant curse struck her right shoulder and she nearly dropped her wand. She bit the inside of her cheek hard enough to taste blood in her mouth.

"Emm!" Dimly, she heard Gideon over the clash.

She made her way to his side slowly, casting shields and hexes both. "Gideon!" She called, not wanting to distract him by hitting his arm.

"Emm, get out of here!"

"Not without you! Or Fabian!"

"Emmeline, we need help! They must have known we were here! We can hold them off, but we need help! They've got Anti-Apparation wards over this whole street! Get out of here!"

"You go! I'm not leaving!"

"Vance, I outrank you!" Gideon took half a second to glare at her. It was true – they'd never come into play that Emmeline knew of, but the Order did have a ranking system for its members. And Fabian... Fabian wasn't even technically in the Order, so Gideon couldn't command him to go. "Go!"

"I'm not leaving!" Where had those tears come from? Emmeline, despite her protests, knew that she had to go and was back off slowly. "Dammit, Gideon!"

Blessedly, the alleyway she had returned by was clear of Death Eaters. "Go, Emm!" Gideon called over the other shouts.

Gasping from both the lack of air and sobs racking her body, Emmeline took one last look and fled, tears pulled from her eyes as she ran. She didn't know how she had enough air in her body to run, cry, and cast a series of shield charms behind her, but she did. Two Death Eaters were following her, blasting her shields out of the way. She'd always been rotten at certain charms.

One of the Death Eaters seemed to trip over himself, and she caught gazes with Fabian for a split second. "Go!" She saw, more than heard, him say. She threw a stunner at the other dark man chasing her and miraculously, it hit. He collapsed and she flew out of the alleyway and further from the alley, fear and terror lending wings to her feet.

She twisted into darkness and reappeared outside the Tower, unlocking the gates as fast as she could and bolting up the lane after securing them behind her. She made as much noise as she could as she slammed open the red door and pounded up the stairs, the Order member on duty (Hestia) looking after her in shock.

"Everyone up now! Fabian and Gideon need help, get up!" She banged on all the doors, praying that some people had stayed over. "Hestia, get on the Floo and hurry!" She ran back down the stairs, shaking with exertion and adrenaline as Hestia spoke quickly into the fire. "Hurry!" She pleaded.

The fireplace, once Hestia had finished her calls for help, roared green. Minerva McGonagall stepped through in a tartan dressing gown, pulling back her hair into the customary bun as she did so. Remus Lupin followed her, along with Sirius. Remus looked like he'd been up the whole night anyway, and was still in his day clothes. Sirius, on the other hand, wore nothing but a cloak and long plaid pajama pants. He looked ridiculous, but Emmeline was just about as far from a laughing mood as she could get.

"Emmeline, stay behind."

"Like hell!" she snarled, and led the way out the door. She was still shaking as she held open and then locked the gate behind herself, reaching out to grab Remus and Sirius by the hands. Hestia came as well, gripping onto Remus's arm.

Emmeline Apparated with a bang and took off running down the alley way. A shadowy figure raised its head, hooded by its cloak, and then Disapparated. After that crack, there was silence but for the pounding of feet. Emmeline skidded to a halt and fell to her knees, torn-up chunks from the street scraping her knees, her tears from before coming back in full flood.

Fabian and Gideon were lying spread-eagled on the pavement, a half-circle of five fallen Death Eaters around them, clearly dead. The twins were also clearly dead, and Emmeline didn't need Hestia's head shake and sorrowful expression to know that after she'd examined the bodies. She buried her face in her hands and bent her forehead down to her knees, body wracked with sobs.

There was a funeral. Emmeline sang because that was what needed to happen. Fabian and Gideon's pregnant elder sister Molly Weasley broke the wands. She placed the top half of Gideon's wand in Fabian's coffin along with the bottom part of Fabian's own wand, and the other two parts in Gideon's coffin. The coffins were lowered into the graves and Molly's children were either extremely solemn or crying.

Emmeline stood with her hands on Auggy and Ziggy's shoulders. She hadn't stopped crying and today was no exception, although they were silent tears. The early October sun was weakly shining through the clouds as the tombstone was raised. Emmeline closed her eyes once the block had settled. When she opened them again, there was an inscription in gold written on the stone that spanned the two graves.

Fabian and Gideon Prewett

March 15, 1958-September 30, 1981

Hold faith in each other

when it feels like the world's gone mad.

She felt Auggy's small body start to shake with repressed grief and Emmeline swiped her own eyes on her robe. Later there would be time to cry and drink her sorrows away. There were two people who needed her. She knelt down and pulled the girl into a hug, letting Ziggy stand with his arms crossed and fighting hard to hold back his own tears. "Shh, Auggy... let's go home."

"Will you take us to Hogwarts tomorrow, Emm?" Ziggy asked in a tight voice. "I don't want to be alone on the Knight Bus." He sounded at once older and younger than his almost thirteen years, and it broke her heart.

"Of course." It meant that she couldn't drink tonight, or else she'd never wake up in time. They walked away from the funeral and Emmeline Apparated them back to the Tower, gripping Auggy's hand the whole way. "We'll leave by eight so you can be there for your afternoon classes."

The three of them went to bed, if not sleep, early that night. Remus was on duty downstairs and Emmeline fell into a deep sleep without sneaking down to get into the alcohol cupboard. She was exhausted, physically and mentally. There had been too much death, of everyone who had been the most important to her. Whole families wiped out in the space of a few hours... the Bones... the McKinnons... and everyone knew someone who had lost someone.

There were bits and pieces of families scattered over the Wizarding world. Emmeline was the last Vance. All the Prewetts were old, like that horrid Muriel that Fabian and Gideon had called aunt. The last Dearborns were sleeping just below her. A few months back James Potter's parents had died, leaving him, Lily, and baby Harry the last Potters alive.

_We're a dying kind, purebloods_, Emmeline thought miserably. She wasn't about blood status at all, she didn't care if there was a Muggle-born for Minister of Magic, but there was something to be said for heritage and history, and that was vanishing by the day. _It just needs to end. Please, please... let it end._

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Remember, a review would make me happy, and I do respond to them!_  
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	11. A Mark and an Resolution

Update! Woo! This was an exceedingly difficult chapter to write, because everything just kept getting worse and worse. I guess that's what I get for writing a war story, eh? Anyway, I thank Il'Diko for the review last chapter, and here's to hoping people like this one as well!

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She was too drunk for duty again. Emmeline stumbled out of her house, ashamed enough to not look over at whoever was sitting in front of the fire. She barely bothered to fasten her cloak properly before she vanished with a loud crack at the end of the lane into the windy October night.

Her feet led her to a bar in Muggle London. She preferred the Muggle bars because she wouldn't run into someone she knew, or at least that was the theory. But the alcohol helped. It was the only thing that did. After drinking enough to dull the memories, she paid her tab and went for a walk, her feet drifting slightly from side to side as she staggered to a small, deserted park and lost herself to tears.

She put her head down on her knees and gripped her hair with shaking hands. "I can't keep this up," she whispered, swallowing hard. She needed something, a release from the memories that wasn't self-damaging. The dark-haired witch drew in deep breaths, trying to calm herself enough to get somewhere else, somewhere not London.

"Emmeline?" A familiar voice asked. "Emm, is that you?"

"Shit," she muttered, turning her face away.

Sirius walked up to her. "What are you doing out here?"

"Trying to be left alone."

"We're all worried about you."

"Don't be. I'll be fine." She stood up and turned to walk away, cloak whipping around her heels. She ignored him as she left, or at least tried to before she walked into a trashcan, the alcohol level in her blood affecting her depth perception. Tripping over her own feet as she tried to recover from the bump, she fell to the pavement, her gasp of pain turning into a sob.

"Emm!" Sirius hurried over to her and knelt down. "Are you alright?"

"Just go away. Please, just leave me alone," she managed through her tears, air catching in her throat.

"No. Come on, I'm taking you home."

"I can't go back there, don't make me go back there. I can't, I can't..." She was begging him, clutching at the front of his robes with desperate hands.

"Are you _drunk_?" Sirius was finally able to smell her breath, and he made a face. "Merlin, Emm... get up, I'll take you to my place." He helped her to stand, then picked her up gently as she almost fell again. He Apparated the both of them to the doorstep of his flat.

Once they were inside, he deposited her on his couch and went to make tea after telling her to stay put. She nodded dully, staring into the fire. The drink coursing through her head made her drowsy, and she stared into the fire like it held the secrets of the universe. She drifted off to sleep before Sirius came back.

When she woke, she had a raging headache. Mercifully, the curtains had been shut and though she could see weak October sunlight streaming through the edges, it didn't hit her in the face. She buried her face in the pillow and tried to remember what had happened the previous night.

"Good morning," a quiet voice greeted her. She raised her head far enough out of the pillow to see Sirius walking into the room holding two cups of steaming something. It smelled nice. She blinked at him, causing him to smile a bit. "Hangover? Here, drink this. It'll help."

Emmeline took one of the cups. It felt like it weighed as much as a hippogriff, but she sipped at it before setting it back down. Whatever Sirius had put in the tea did help, just like whatever Gideon had done when she'd... her eyes filled with tears again. She bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, trying to distract herself from the burning behind her eyes, trying to keep her lips from trembling. It didn't work.

She swiped at her face, trying to contain the tears before they got out of hand. "Hey, I thought you were done with the emotions," Sirius teased her gently, setting a hand on her shoulder. He handed her a handkerchief and she took it gratefully, dabbing at her eyes.

Once she was slightly contained, she took another drink of her tea. "Sorry," she said thickly. Sirius started to shake his head, but she cut him off. "I don't mean just breaking down right now. For everything. I'm an awful person. One thing happens and I completely lose it. I'm a liability to the Order and you all shouldn't have to deal with—"

"Shut up," he said calmly, placing his palm over her mouth. Surprised, she stopped speaking. "If you say those things, they might become true. Emm, we're all hurting. Things just keep getting worse and worse, and it seems like half the world's in hiding and the rest of us are a step from it. But it will get better, I promise."

"How can you promise something like that?" She felt like a child begging for reassurance, and she hated it.

"Because it has to be." That bore a striking resemblance to what she had said to Auggy and Ziggy after Caradoc vanished, and Emmeline wasn't sure if she liked the thought of that. Sirius sighed. "Look, Emm, I need to leave. I've got the patrol, and I should probably let people know that you won't be going home for a bit. You're welcome to stay here as long as you like." He stood up and brushed a hand through her hair lightly, then vanished down the hallway.

Emmeline closed her eyes for a few moments before downing the rest of her tea and slipping out the door. She didn't want to see Sirius leave, because it would be one goodbye too many. Every single time now, it felt like bidding someone farewell meant a lot more than it ever had previously. Because now, it might really be goodbye for good.

She ended up walking aimlessly down a street, not looking at the other people on the sidewalk. It was early afternoon, and she would have ordinarily felt foolish for sleeping so late, but it was difficult to feel anything besides sadness and loneliness any more. A brisk wind nipped at the gap between her cloak fastenings and her shirt.

She needed catharsis. Something final, something to help her move on from the memories. Wracking her brains as she walked, inspiration struck her as she walked by a tattoo parlor. It was a Muggle tattoo business, and so that would mean no magical enhancements to the art, but even so... maybe that was better. She made up her mind as she strode into the shop, the light of purpose glinting in her eyes for the first time in almost a month.

"Hey there," the man behind the counter greeted her. He had tattoos all up and down his arms and neck, and she would hazard a guess that the rest of him would be covered as well. They were beautifully done, and she wondered if some were his own work.

"Hello," she replied. "I need to get some tattoos."

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you have any now?" He asked dubiously, running his eyes over her.

"No."

"And you said you wanted 'some' tattoos?"

"Yes. Three. A pair of foxes on my ankles and a tiger going up my hip." She didn't know where the sudden certainty had come from, but she knew it was right.

"Well alright then," the man grinned at her. "I'm Damien Jonson, pleased to meet you."

She shook his hand. "Emmeline Vance."

He shooed her away after clarifying some details about what she wanted, and she ventured to Diagon Alley to get Muggle money. Damien had given her a rough price and she made sure to change extra Galleons into the funny Muggle paper, just in case. He hadn't had any appointments that day and so she returned later in the early afternoon to see his drawings.

When she walked back in the shop, he held up his sketchbook proudly. Two identical foxes danced on the first paper, and a tiger snarled on the next. Nodding, Emmeline felt a bit of a smile touch her own lips. "Let's get to work," Damien said, ushering her over to a table.

It was going on midnight by the time he was finished. Emmeline had subtly used a localized pain-numbing charm on her ankles and hip, which had certainly helped because she wasn't twitching from the sting of the needle. When Damien finally sat back, he grinned in satisfaction. "Take a look," he suggested, pointing at a full-length mirror.

She stood up and walked over to it, the entirety of her right hip and leg bare. There was a black line drawing of a tiger climbing its way up her hip, its face turned out in a possessive snarl. Its tail curled around to her inner thigh. Looking down at her feet, she saw two identical foxes on the outside of her ankles. Her flesh was red and slightly inflamed, but she was pleased.

"Well done," she commented quietly as she paid him. He had wrapped the new tattoos up gently after letting her see them, but her clothes still rubbed against the coverings and tickled the wounds underneath.

"Thanks. Can I ask what they're for?" Both had been silent during the procedure, and she hadn't told him beforehand why she had chosen what she did.

"The foxes... my boyfriend and his brother died two weeks ago. And my best friend in the world, who the tiger is for, died just before them." She was surprised at the steadiness of her voice.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "Losing those you love is always horrid." He didn't ask why they had died and for that she was grateful – how would she explain a secret world war to a Muggle?

"Yes it is," she agreed in a murmur, before shaking Damien's hand and taking her leave of the shop. She paused for a split second as she stood in the doorway, then slanted a glance back at him. "I may be back." It was the closest to a fatalistic comment that she had ever come, and it was also the closest to realizing and accepting and moving past the face that her friends would continue to die until the madness ended.

Damien seemed to get it in the split-second that their eyes locked. "I hope you aren't. Not that I don't appreciate the business, but if you're coming in to commemorate more friends then you have my sympathies."

A ghost of a smile flittered across her face before she stepped out into the night, ankles starting to tingle as the effects of her pain-numbing charms began to wear off. She slipped into a darkened alley and Disapparated back to her home.

Emmeline let herself into the Sea Tower through the red door, closing it with a soft click behind her. She was relieved to see that Sirius was on duty in front of the fire, and he greeted her softly. She returned the greeting and retreated to her room, nursing her hip as she lay on her bed. The tattoos stung, and she could tell that her skin was still inflamed under the bandages. She wouldn't go to a healer (namely, Alice or Hestia, because St. Mungo's was flooded these days) about them though, because... if pressed, she would call it a personal thing. The tattoos were hers, as the memories were hers.

It wasn't quite the catharsis she had wanted, and it by no means made it better, but somehow, having the tiger on her hip was reassuring. The tiger was her patronus as well, and while it wasn't like Benjy was actually there for her, maybe his shadow was.

She visited the Tinworth cemetery the next day and sat down with her back to his tombstone. The midday light was weak, shining through clouds about ready to burst with rain. There wasn't much wind, which was strange. "You wouldn't approve," she commented lowly. "It's not exactly something my parents would be happy with either. Or at least, I don't think so. Then again, who really knows? Fabian and Gideon... the old Gideon, at least, would love them. I think you would like the art, if not the fact that I got three tattoos in one day."

A few raindrops began to patter down, and Emmeline knew that the storm would drench her soon. "I shouldn't be out in the rain, that's what you would tell me. You would also tell me that I need to go back on duty, get some sort of routine in my life, but I can't be trusted with anyone else's lives. Or I shouldn't be, even if I could convince people that I'm alright. Benjy, I can't do this without you. I can't take care of Auggy and Ziggy – I was always like the cool aunt, and you took the place of father better than even Caradoc could, really.

"Gideon told me something that helped for the time, but then they died too. He said that whether I could or could not didn't matter, because I didn't have a choice. But he was wrong, because people always have choices. I could just run away from it. I could go to the mainland and wait out the war. I'd have to live with my choices and I would hate myself, but I could do it. It's tempting."

She was surprised that she wasn't crying. "But you wouldn't do it, and you didn't run away from caring for me when my parents died. But you've always been a stronger person than I am, and I'm scared." She didn't know how long she sat there beneath the stone tiger before she stood and headed home slowly.

The days passed in a haze of fear and blood. Patrols had stopped because the Order had been decimated, but almost every night there would be an attack on someone. Emmeline started going with Hestia when the Healer had to make a midnight run to save someone's life. Partially because going anywhere alone was a bad idea (not that going in pairs or trios seemed to be safer either), but also because sitting around in the empty Sea Tower was the last thing she wanted to do. It was amazing to watch Hestia work – she was a good Healer, and she specialized in stabilizing people long enough for them to reach St. Mungo's.

Emmeline wished that she could do something like Healing that really helped people, but she'd never had the needed skills in Charms. Instead, she kept drowning her failures in whiskey and gin. She made the trips to fetch it alone, and the only association that she attempted with people were the times she went Healing with Hestia.

The morning of the first day of November, she was awakened in front of her fire by Hestia shaking her by the shoulders frantically. "Emmeline! Emm, get up!"

"Wha?" Emmeline blinked her way back from unconsciousness, hangover pounding her in the temples. She looked blearily at Hestia. "What?" she finally managed to enunciate correctly.

The other witch seemed to be a strange mix of delirious elation and overwhelming sadness. "He's gone!"

Emmeline had lost too many 'he's.' She tilted her head slightly, uncomprehending. Hestia hadn't relinquished her grasp of Emmeline's shoulders and shook them again. "You-Know-Who. He's gone."

"Now I know I'm still dreaming," Emmeline groaned, pulling back from Hestia.

"No. No, Emm. He's gone, completely gone. It happened last night."

"All Hallow's Eve? That's damned appropriate, don't you think? Seriously, Hestia... you know better than to joke about that. Not even Sirius would make mock of him like that, or mess with all of us by joking that he was gone..." Emmeline trailed off as she saw Hestia's face darken at the name of their friend.

"Emmeline... I'm not joking." The words were slow and Hestia's face was utterly serious. "I wouldn't lie to you about that. But Black – " She let out a choked sob. "He betrayed them! He betrayed Lily and James and little Harry! They're gone, Emm. They're dead."

"You-Know-Who is gone?" Emmeline was in a slight state of shock. Then her brow furrowed at what Hestia had said after that. "Lily and James and Harry are dead?"

"Not Harry, I don't think. Something... something happened and Harry defeated You-Know-Who! Lily and James are gone – Harry's still alive, so Dumbledore says. Black was their Secret-Keeper – it's his fault!" Hestia was completely beside herself, a mentality that Emmeline had never seen the normally composed and calm Healer in.

Emmeline got up out of her chair and retrieved a fresh bottle, not even bothering to make a toast or any note that You-Know-Who was gone. She popped the cap and took a long drink, enjoying the searing of the burn traveling down her throat. Hestia was too disbelieving herself to do anything about Emmeline's drinking, which convinced the witch even further that her friend was telling the truth. "Need t'tell Alice," she muttered, falling to her knees in front of the fireplace and throwing a handful of Floo powder into the dying embers.

After informing Alice she went back to the chair by the fire. Hestia had gone and Emmeline didn't blame her – Emmeline knew that she wasn't any fun to be around, even on a day such as this. She sat there thinking instead.

There were parties and memorials, and Emmeline sang at Lily and James's funeral. It didn't go over as badly as Benjy's had but her eyes were still wet throughout the whole of the song. She saw the memorial raised and listened to people paying their respects. The days were colder and the nights were longer, but she hung on to her sanity and humanity by her teeth, dealing with the pain with alcohol. Her tattoos scabbed over and healed, although the skin was still slightly tender.

One night she was drunk out of her mind when Alice appeared in the fireplace. "What're you doin' here?"

"Emmeline Vance, you shouldn't be drinking," Alice scolded, sounding strangely like Emmeline's mother when she'd caught her daughter and Benjy all muddy or windswept from their Quidditch practice.

The thought made her smile wryly and she toasted her friend with her cup. "Yes Mum."

"Emm, really." Alice gave a sigh. "I just wanted to let you know we're alright. Neville and Frank are on the couch."

"Good. S'good to hear. Can I see m'godson?" Emmeline was slurring her words more than usual, but it was late and she was tired and drunk and depressed, so she couldn't be bothered to care. Alice nodded and called to her husband to bring Neville over, clearly hiding her concern. She'd never been that good of a liar to Emmeline.

Chubby little baby Neville reached out his hands to his godmother, and Emmeline felt a smile touch her lips, the first real on in too long. "Emm! Emm!" Tears stung her eyes as she reached a hand through the fire and let him grab her fingers.

"Hey there kid," she murmured. "Nothin's gonna happen t'you, Neville. I promise. Benjy promised too, an' everyone promised, but I promise _more_..." Some part of her knew that she was making a fool of herself – some calculating, judgmental part of herself knew that she was acting the idiot, that she needed to pull herself together and deal with everything that had happened, that she needed to be strong, but she just couldn't listen to it. Everything hurt. Remembering, thinking, eating, trying to move on with life, it all just hurt. And this kid, this little child knew so little of war and pain and she envied him that, but she knew that she had to help protect him from everything that could happen... She was crying for real now as Alice stepped through the fireplace. "I _promise_, Alice."

Alice said something that ended with 'off to bed' and Emmeline didn't fight her. She let her friend guide her up the stairs and then steal away the cup of whiskey before Emmeline fell into bed. "I promise..." the dark haired, alcohol-stinking, completely plastered witch said. She didn't remember drifting off to sleep.

She woke that morning with a pounding headache. Groaning lightly, she rolled out of bed and almost onto the floor. She went downstairs and fixed herself a cup of coffee before putting on a cloak and staggering outside to restock on her alcohol. As she was returning from the pub, bottles clinking in a drawstring cloth bag at her side, she saw Remus Lupin standing by her gates. He met her gaze slowly and then looked down at the drawstring bag and sighed.

"What?" she demanded, slightly more aggressively than she intended. His eyes were shadowed and he looked thinner than when she had last seen him. She softened slightly and sighed as well, glancing to the ground.

"Emmeline, I'm so sorry."

Her eyes flickered back up to him, meeting his own warm hazel-gold stare. "About what?"

"Alice and Frank were attacked. They're in St. Mungo's now."

Emmeline's lips parted slightly and the bottles shattered on the ground as her muscles went limp. Remus stepped closer to her as she burst out, "But they were supposed to be _safe_! You-Know-Who's gone, he's gone, and they were safe... I promised, oh Merlin... I promised just last night." That memory was clear, even though the rest of the night was hazy.

She broke down crying and Remus caught her before she could collapse on the ground. He pulled her to him and she could feel how skinny he was as she clutched him, soaking his thin jacket with her tears. He muttered comforting nonsense to her and eventually her tears abated, although she kept sniffing. "What about Neville?" She managed, voice thick and low.

"He's with his grandmother. He's okay, Alice hid him somewhere and the Death Eaters didn't find him. It was Bellatrix and her husband and his brother. But they've been caught now, so don't get any ideas of Gryffindor heroics running through your head about hunting them down."

That was enough to cease Emmeline's tears out of surprise. "Bellatrix Lestrange has been caught?"

Remus was smiling a bit. "Strange, isn't it?"

"Can I go see Alice?" Emmeline sounded like a child and Remus sighed as he shook his head and explained that they were in intensive care and no one knew anything except that they were still alive. Emmeline sighed but accepted it – what choice did she have?

She invited Remus inside the house and he made them tea. Emmeline reached for the last bottle in her house to pour whiskey into hers before Remus took it away gently. "Neville doesn't need that in a godmother," he said softly. That started her tears again, and he patted her back and let her drench his shoulder until she stopped.

"I'm sorry," she whispered once she'd contained herself again.

"Emm, don't apologize. You've lost so much – I understand."

"You've lost too," she muttered back. "Lily and James... and Black betraying them and killing Peter... I haven't had to deal with betrayal."

Remus looked away and didn't respond, and Emmeline took in the sight of him. He was thin – she'd been able to feel that when he held her. But she hadn't noticed how truly _ragged_ he was. His cheeks were sunken in and his eyes were dark with shadows from lack of sleep. "Remus," she murmured. His warm hazel eyes, touched with yellow, met her own soft brown gaze. "Remus, where have you been staying?"

He had been sleeping on Black's couch, before... everything. That had ended two weeks ago, she assumed. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep in a place that held that many memories. She saw the flick of shame in his eyes before it was smothered. "Here and there," he said.

"Stay here tonight," she asked. "Please. It's just me and Bludger now, and it's lonely." Her cat was sitting on a bookshelf and twitched his tail when he heard his name, but remained asleep. "I don't want to be alone." She knew it sounded like she was merely coming up with an excuse for him to stay, but she really didn't want to be alone. She hated the way the house creaked, even though it had once been comforting and one of the sounds of home.

Remus looked to be on the verge of refusing, before he slumped down and sighed. "Alright."

She smiled at him, her first genuine smile in what felt like years. "Thank you."

When Emmeline woke up the next morning, the absence of a hangover was strange. She forgot the feeling of waking with a mostly clear head. It put her in a slightly better mood until she remembered the news of the day before, and her smile slipped off her face.

The smell of breakfast cooking greeted her, and it made her think for one wild second that Benjy was in the kitchen. It was only Remus though, when she descended the stairs, who greeted her with a mild smile. "Good morning, Emmeline."

"Remus, we've talked about you calling me Emmeline," she responded. He passed her a plate full of bacon and eggs, with two biscuits sitting on the side.

"But it's such a lovely name."

She shook her head slightly, but didn't say anything. They ate in silence, and then Emmeline fed Bludger. Remus left around ten to look for a new job, which got Emmeline to thinking about a job as well. It would be something to occupy her days with, even though her parents had left her more than enough money to live on comfortably for the rest of her days. Still... the idea of sitting around all day in the Sea Tower wasn't appealing.

First though, she needed to check on something. She Apparated to Neville's grandmother's house and knocked on the door hesitantly. The old woman was fearsome when irritated, and she was more than a force to be reckoned with. Augusta Longbottom opened the door, wand in one hand and her grandson in the other. "Emmeline," she greeted coolly.

"Good morning, Mrs. Longbottom," Emmeline said back. "I... I wanted to see how Neville was."

"Emm?" The little boy questioned.

She managed a half-smile. "Hey kid."

Mrs. Longbottom's face softened a bit. "Come inside, Emmeline."

Augusta fixed them tea and Emmeline sat on a couch while the older woman reclined regally in an armchair. "How are Alice and Frank doing?" Emmeline asked quietly.

"As well as can be expected. They remember little, the Healers say, but in time perhaps that will change." Augusta sipped at her tea tensely.

"Will they be allowed visitors?"

"Not yet. I am not even allowed to bring Neville in to visit them."

"Will you please let me know when we can visit? I would like to see Alice..."

"Of course."

"And... and can I take Neville out sometimes? I would also like to spend time with my godson. He's all I have left of her right now."

Augusta looked at Emmeline for a long, silent moment. At last she nodded. "Very well, I suppose that would be alright."

"Thank you."

The rest of the visit was short as Emmeline finished her tea and then went home. Remus was waiting in the living room. "I hope you don't mind that I let myself in," he said as she hung up her cloak.

"Of course not. You know you're always welcome here."

He seemed nervous and Emmeline looked at him questioningly. "I've been trying to find a job," he explained. "Black was letting me stay on his couch, but I haven't been able to find anything... you know I hate asking for favors, but could I stay here a few days? Just until I get something worked out?"

"Where have you been staying?" She'd asked the same question the night before, but as he did then, he didn't answer and Emmeline didn't push the question. "Stay as long as you need or want. I have this big, empty house and I get lonely. It would be a relief to have you here." It was more or less the same thing she had said the previous night, but this time she was more sober.

He stayed that night, and the night after, and they fell into a routine. Remus would go out in the mornings and look for work, while Emmeline would amuse herself by reading or traveling, visiting old friends and trying to distract herself. She didn't drink anymore, and visited Neville at least once a week. Emmeline took him to the bookstore and the pet shop, to the river and everywhere else she could think of.

Eventually, she was allowed to visit Alice and Frank. Once she got that bit of news, she hurried to throw on a cloak and raced out the door, Apparating the moment she was past the wards. The greeting and instructions from the Welcome Witch passed in a blur, and Emmeline ended up outside a white door. She hesitated before going in, but after a moment's pause pushed the door open slowly.

The sight that greeted her nearly reduced her to tears before she even set foot inside the room. Frank gazed out the small window that was enchanted to look like summer. A small bit of drool was falling from the side of his mouth. Alice was staring at a blue flower, no expression in her eyes.

"Alice?" Emmeline brought herself to ask, voice breaking.

Her friend looked around at her in confusion, then fear filled her eyes and she let out a soft scream, scrabbling at her bedsheets. Even in her confusion, Emmeline recognized the movements of looking for a wand, desperate for defense and protection. But there was not a single scrap of recognition in Alice's eyes, and that was a punch right to the heart for Emmeline.

A Healer rushed in. He must have been alerted by some sensor or spell, she knew, and she watched helplessly as he restrained Alice. Frank hadn't moved. "Out," the Healer demanded, although he did seem apologetic about it.

Emmeline fled.

Remus made dinner again that night, and he noticed that she was even quieter than normal. "Are you alright, Emmeline?"

"Remus..."

"I know, I'm not supposed to call you that. But please, what's wrong?"

"I went to go see Alice and Frank today. I was hoping that they'd be okay, or at least kind of okay, or healing or something, but they're not. Frank stared out the window the whole time and was... he was a mess, and Alice screamed when she saw me, like I was a threat or sometime." She'd gotten choked up again just thinking about it and took a few deep breaths, trying to control herself. "She didn't know me, and we've been best friends for so many years. I'm the godmother of her child and she didn't know me. I want to help her and I can't. The only thing I could do would be hunting down the people who did this to her, but I can't even do that because they're already locked up."

Emmeline bit her lip to stop herself from rambling, then let her head fall into her hands. "I'm just so helpless. Everything keeps happening and I can't do anything about it, I can't fix anything. The war is done. It's _done_, but things are still so broken. We just always concentrated on winning the war, and no one thought a damn thing about what would happen after it."

Remus put his arms around her, and Emmeline cried into his shirt. She had gotten so used to crying it felt almost routine now, and with that sickening thought she pulled herself together. "I'll be okay," she said. "I will. It was j-just hard, to see them like that."

"Well, I'm less worried about you now." Remus smiled wryly down at her. "You didn't immediately go for a bottle when you got home, and you're not looking for one now."

"I can't. Neville needs me. Isn't that what you said?" Remus nodded confirmation. "You were right. I'm not drinking any more." Her voice was still shaky, but she felt more solid than she had in weeks. "There's no point to any of this if we can't raise the next generation to be better than we are. Neville won't be an alcoholic because of me, and neither will Auggy or Ziggy."

* * *

Finally, Emmeline is going to stop being such a drunk and do something with herself. I can't really say how exactly that's going to go just yet, but the goal is to get another chapter up before winter break, so we'll see by then. Thanks for reading this - it's just over 90,000 words now, so if you've stuck with me through it, or have just read it all, I thank you immensely.


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